SPAM Haiku 15301-15400

Move backwards to Numbers 15201-15300.

15301.
Mother-in-law hit
in the face with a SPAM-blob--
A costly revenge.

--wamwork@excite.com

15302.
Let us bury SPAM
Down at the dump in its can
While we gnaw carrots.

--wamwork@excite.com

15303.
It's Synthetic'ly
Produced Animal Matter--
A secret process

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15304.
Ersatz, a cipher
Any resemblance to meat
Coincidental

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15305.
SPAM really sux ass
I wonder who the fuck thought
Of this nasty shit

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15306.
la di da di da
dum dee da dee dum dum day
SPAM tastes like cow shit

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15307.
what the hell is SPAM
is it a solid, liquid?
never sure i am

--Rob-DaWG, butthole

15308.
Who would eat hot dogs
At major league baseball games
If SPAM was sold, too?

--Ken, bo34@hotmail.com

15309.
John Rocker pitching.
I have no more batteries.
It's time to throw SPAM!

--Ken, bo34@hotmail.com

15310.
Conservators of
Lenin's corpse know their craft well;
Hormel, their mentors.

--Milford Pigboy

15311.
Ask not what Hormel
Puts in its SPAM; ask what YOU
Can do for Hormel.

--Milford Pigboy

15312.
Vietnam War was
Won by the side that possessed
The fewest SPAM cans.

--Milford Pigboy

15313.
Trailer park morning;
SPAM and hash browns sizzle in
Skillet; life is good.

--Milford Pigboy

15314.
Empty, like a shell
Hold the can up to your ear
You can hear the squeals

--james, simply james

15315.
North Carolina
Man charged with pig sex abuse;
Wham bam thank you SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15316.
A quiz: this food rhymes
with ham, gram, dam, jam, wigwam.
can you guess? I can.

--Merv Hart, merv@fortunecity.com

15317.
evil SPAM minions
carry out their master's schemes
to conquer the world

--Chuck Beard

15318.
freeze dried SPAM pouches
rejected by astronauts
unwanted space food

--Chuck Beard

15319.
Only in tabloids
Is truth reported about
SPAM ingredients.

--Milford Pigboy

15320.
powdered SPAM in milk
pink tasty nutritious treat
all the kids love it

--Chuck Beard

15321.
SPAM conspiracy:
Who shot JFK and why?
Only Hormel knows.

--Milford Pigboy

15322.
Watergate caused by
Clumsy attempt to plant SPAM
In Demo HQ.

--Milford Pigboy

15323.
Mariachis play.
Family gathers 'round pot
Of SPAM menudo.

--Milford Pigboy

15324.
Hot dry sunset gleams
Off pig manure lagoons; day
Ends for desert swine.

--Milford Pigboy

15325.
SPAM, my daily treat
fried in--OH! CALL 911!
CHEST HURTS!! LEFT ARM TOO!!

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

15326.
The genius that was
China invented many
Wonders; but not SPAM.

--Mao Zedong

15327.
Change, a certainty;
Pig to SPAM: miraculous
Transfiguration.

--Thomas Aquinas

15328.
On Navajo Res.,
Mutton stew gross and greasy;
Ask for SPAM instead.

--Charlotte Yazzie

15329.
Japanese never
Understood Navajo Code
Talkers; SPAM they ate.

--Charlotte Yazzie

15330.
Pork product ligands
Coordination metals
Null Dentate Theory

--George Nilsen, gnilsen_006@yahoo.com

15331.
What is in that can
Is it beef,chicken, or pork
Serve red or white wine

--Pawp 2000

15332.
Cow, chicken, pig, lamb;
The one that wallows in mud
Is the choice for SPAM!

--Anonymous

15333.
Slaughtered pig pieces
Stuffed into a blue tin can.
Anyone for SPAM?

--Anonymous

15334.
Went to Mexico,
Caught Montezuma's Revenge.
Or was it the SPAM...?

--Anonymous

15335.
Who, in sanity
Writes haiku to SPAM, but won't
Plead insanity

--Rebecca, queenbeci@supanet.com

15336.
post-party cleaning
a forest of bright toothpicks
rises from SPAM cubes

--Will Jefcoat

15337.
Little Piggies mourn
He will never return home
Their son, is now SPAM

--Sarah, BonosLover@aol.com

15338.
Bloated Guam street 'ho's
SPAM sweat beads form during sex
Labial juice drips

--former inhabitant of Guam (and not a ho), n2xyinva@aol.com

15339.
Climbing Everest
Anticipating peak meal
Backpack full of SPAM

--Aviva Rothschild, aviva@emperative.com

15340.
NAFTA benefit
Give SPAM to the Eskimos
Get back SPAMcicles

--Mark Propp, propp@emperative.com

15341.
Seuss variations:
SPAM I Am, Green Eggs and SPAM.
Classics? Unlikely.

--Aviva Rothschild, Aviva@rationalmagic.com

15342.
Storming the heavens
Your taste rises like a hawk
Into the pink sky

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15343.
Noble as a chimp
You squat with nobility
And jiggle with pride

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15344.
Penetrating taste
Sealing itself in my gums
For eternity

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15345.
Noble pork soldier,
I love the smell of salty
pork in the morning.

--Russell Dawson, external_filter @ yahoo.com

15346.
SPAM really tastes good
And by golly that scares me
What the heck is it?

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15347.
Pig meets a blender
Rots under sun for five days
That's how you get SPAM

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15348.
Oh to have no tongue
And then eat SPAM undisturbed
Then I could live cheap

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15349.
I must eat more SPAM
If I die recycle me
I would make good SPAM

--Candle, darwinscandle@yahoo.ca

15350.
With fixed proportions,
Subtract pig and pork supplies
To get SPAM demand.

--An economics student channeling Milton Friedman

15351.
lump of pink pleasure
calling uncontrollably
so hard to resist

--Kenyon Hurt, khurt@kozmo.com

15352.
Pink and alluring
The color of underwear
Worn by Thai call girls.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15353.
Ozymandias,
King of Kings, ate SPAM. Empire
sacked--no big surprise.

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15354.
Gollum at Mt. Doom
Bites Frodo's finger off, shrieks
"Better this than SPAM!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15355.
dad lost his Via-
gra, tried to "use" SPAM later
10 years in prison

--The Manticore (AKA Vile Lad), psd@mail.denali.k12.ak.us

15356.
SPAM is a product
best used in bad sci-fi flicks:
"Soylent Pink is PIGS!!!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15357.
Shred the SPAM real small
Mix in the egg then scramble
You have SPAM omelette

--Mellielou

15358.
SPAM Lite is yucky
Original is the way
Compare them--you'll see

--Mellielou

15359.
Bill, what have you done?
Like SPAM spilling from the can,
on Monika's dress!

--The Subhuman, Subhuman@moonman.com

15360.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, eggs
bacon and SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM

--Dave, zapata@lanarchy.com

15361.
They say walls have ears,
and so, you will find, does SPAM,
and bollocks, and brains.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15362.
Pigs on slotted floors,
Workers in their cubicles:
Everything in place.

--Milford Pigboy

15363.
Because it's liquid
Piggery waste! That is why
It is dark water.

--Milford Pigboy

15364.
Pigs stink but so would
People if they were confined
On a slotted floor.

--Milford Pigboy

15365.
Hog urine, feces
In anaerobic lagoons
Ferment in the heat.

--Milford Pigboy

15366.
Survivor's choices:
Fresh roast rat or SPAM sandwich
"I'd rather starve, thanks."

--Aviva Rothschild, Aviva@rationalmagic.com

15367.
Lear flies into rage
When daughters forbid SPAM and
Scream "Out, vile jelly!"

--Amanda "Amanda" Van Rhyn, osfic-goddess@excite.com

15368.
Saddam and Adolf
To my knowledge, ne'er ate SPAM
What does that tell you?

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15369.
SPAM is the first step
Down the long dreary road to
World of Soylent Green.

--Milford Pigboy

15370.
Animal-rights nuts
Want to take away my SPAM:
From cold, dead fingers!

--Milford Pigboy

15371.
Elian has left:
Of all things American,
He will miss SPAM most.

--Milford Pigboy

15372.
I like SPAM and eggs
I would eat green eggs and SPAM
I can't find green eggs

--Joe Sparkes, jsparkey@aol.com

15373.
My SPAM sits there, stares
up at me, I leave it for
the bacteria.

--Robin, R_2000girl@hotmail.com

15374.
jellied accident
compressed pink cube in a can
whose idea was this?

--Chuck Beard

15375.
SPAM, my tender love,
Flavor of moist meaty death,
I pledge devotion.

--Ishtar, Shannon_SFF@email.msn.com

15376.
Memories of SPAM,
Your flavor lingers for me,
Belch to taste again.

--Sammy, jeff.tracy@usa.net

15377.
I didst never eat
This thing of which thou speaketh
And now never shall

--Jerry Stone, jstone@ismi.net

15378.
Hello, small pink friend.
I have known you for decades.
I look but can't eat.

--Edward S. White, ewhite37@hotmail.com

15379.
Pink, white, yellow, clear.
I think I know the pink one.
Slice of what, I ask?

--Edward S. White, ewhite37@hotmail.com

15380.
AHHHH the atmosphere!
Strange in texture and odor.
Just like rotten SPAM.

--Brian DeLorenzo, bdelorenzo@hotmail.com

15381.
Two SPAM cans drive by
Each other on the freeway--
Relativity!!!

--Albert Einstein, truegenius@iq.com

15382.
If I put a slice
Of SPAM down my underpants,
It would be slimy.

--Tickle Me Pink

15383.
SPAM...pink greasy sheen,
You particle board of meat,
Scrumptious snout of sow.

--SPAMster, saewookkang@hotmail.com

15384.
Evil shining gel
imprisons the mighty meat.
It trembles. Uncaged!

--Erik Perkins, web@libertygraphicstshirts.com

15385.
Tofurkey? No chance
when muse demands a carving.
Rise, Spurkey revealed.

--Erik Perkins, web@libertygraphicstshirts.com

15386.
SPAM Haiku Archive
I discovered you today
Why do you exist

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15387.
Want to make some SPAM?
Put a pig in a blender,
add clear goo and serve.

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15388.
SPAM in bunker: food
When jack-booted thugs come in
Black helicopters.

--Milford Pigboy

15389.
Oh luscious pork pie
Sitting in clear Jell-O. Dream!
Wake up to mere ham.

--Tom Moreland, tmorelan@lfucg.com

15390.
I slide my knife through.
The SPAM on my plate reminds
me of meat Jell-O.

--ngrace@etc.atinc.com

15391.
empty can oozing
thrown to the foot of the bed
a night of SPAM sex

--Christian "Silly Underpants" Davis, WhiteHulls@aol.com

15392.
Pressed composite meat
Extruded into blue can:
Industrial food.

--Milford Pigboy

15393.
Noah said, "Hurry!
Here comes the big flood!" But it
Was a meat grinder.

--Al Carbonara, twomelvs@pacbell.net

15394.
Pity the workers
On stun line who look into
Piggies' sad brown eyes.

--Milford Pigboy

15395.
Do pigs have souls? Or
Is their immortal essence
Sealed in the SPAM cans?

--Milford Pigboy

15396.
SPAM, is ham, or not?
I seek to know this answer.
I will eat, then think.

--Beau Williams, gobeaugo@prodigy.net

15397.
SPAM is a fake food
Who knows what goes into it
But it tastes so good

--SPAM, John

15398.
SPAM has bits of white
Placed in it by Hormel foods
They make many sick

--SPAM, John

15399.
Once I ate a tin
of SPAM, so pink and lovely
Jimmy Hoffa, found

--Anonymous

15400.
George Gershwin and SPAM
An aural cacophony
Rhapsody in pink

--LeaH