SPAM Haiku 15501-15600

Move backwards to Numbers 15401-15500.

15501.
A half eaten slice
sitting and waiting, watching
and slowly dying.

--Keri

15502.
Pablum fed to the
Public on network TV
Is SPAM for the soul.

--Milford Pigboy

15503.
Come on out, little
SPAM cube! I know you're in that
Can. I can smell you!

--Milford Pigboy

15504.
Under slotted floor,
Stinking to high heaven! Please
Flush into lagoon!

--Milford Pigboy

15505.
Piggy sighs and thinks:
"Oh, for a good mud wallow!
I get slotted floor."

--Milford Pigboy

15506.
Piggery class of
Year 2000 gets to take
One final field trip.

--Milford Pigboy

15507.
the cool wind blows through
the orange blossom trees and
below is some SPAM

--Iain Reid

15508.
I love slimy meat.
SPAM is my favorite kind.
It makes me giggle.

--Jeff n.

15509.
I have a SPAM dog.
He is all pink and cuddly.
He lives in a can.

--Jeff n., jeffnov@hotmail.com

15510.
Rotten piece of SPAM
Slowly dying, waiting to
See what happens next

--Jenna

15511.
I am very tired
Because I don't sleep at all
When I don't eat SPAM

--Laura, mousie1@kittymail.com

15512.
i like to drive vans
SPAM is the name of my van
i'm a fan of SPAM

--Tara

15513.
15366.
15366.
15366.

--dont have a name

15514.
I open a can.
Oh my! What do we have here.
It is SPAM of course.

--Jeff n., jeffnov@hotmail.com

15515.
Hurricane Floyd made
N.C. into a mud flat
Awash in pig s__t.

--Milford Pigboy

15516.
Close the windows! Shut
The door! Wind is blowing from
The pig farm again.

--Milford Pigboy

15517.
Molecules of hog
Odor penetrate rugs, drapes:
I can't smell the SPAM!

--Milford Pigboy

15518.
Taxes flow pinkly
From the SPAMpayer's anus
Nourishing Big Gov

--Tim, Taxpayers@irs.com

15519.
ATF fires SPAM
The Branch Davidians Die
Rather than SPAM Faith

--Tim, SectionLeader@UpTheRev.com

15520.
I drop my pencil
Boyish prank to see the pink
It looks just like SPAM

--Tim, VillageIdiot@TheBoneyard.com

15521.
My mind is obsessed
Thoughts of undulating pink
Caverns of live SPAM

--Tim, GutterBrain@TheBoneyard.com

15522.
I stack my SPAM high
I can face it eye-to-eye
Now embrace it, (sigh)....

--Tim, GutterBrain@TheBoneyard.com

15523.
Depraved I swim deep
In oceans of pink ooze SPAM
Gutters above me

--Tim, GutterBrain@TheBoneyard.com

15524.
Loser with no pride
Nominates himself for SPAM
No life, No shame, SLURP!

--Tim, JealousLoser@TheBoneyard.com

15525.
Pigs may come and pigs
May go but SPAM in its blue
Can is forever.

--Milford Pigboy

15526.
How do we know if
The clear slimy ooze in SPAM
Cans is safe to eat?

--Milford Pigboy

15527.
Sow grunts with pleasure,
Pain; A.I. tube penetrates;
Piglets on the way.

--Milford Pigboy

15528.
Born on slotted floor,
Confined above manure pits,
Death by whirling knives.

--Milford Pigboy

15529.
Disassembly line:
Tasty cuts wrapped in plastic;
Leftovers are SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15530.
Sublime mystery;
Only Hormel knows answer:
What is SPAM made of?

--Milford Pigboy

15531.
SPAM's like bloody meat
Ripped, mangled dead animals
But I like it still.

--the-last-gunslinger

15532.
SPAM. That's right. Pink Stuff.
It is disgustingly good.
So many love it.

--the-last-gunslinger

15533.
Majestic trees still
Sound of a cold running stream
Greased SPAM in the morn

--GBahn, gbahn@netscape.net

15534.
The dark blue label
The SPAM depicted, floating
Then, disappointment

--Sean Carman, sean.carman@usdoj.gov

15535.
I especially
Liked the attached small tin key
Had no other use

--Sean Carman, sean.carman@usdoj.gov

15536.
falling gelatin
sloughing off, into the can
tempting repulsion

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15537.
a jiggling descent
from an upside down tin can
SPAM frying on stove

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15538.
provenance, best use
all is mystery in you
gelatinous meat

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15539.
Oily renderings
A present meal without past
Grudgingly consumed

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15540.
gaily chowing down
in youth, fear not sclerosis
or mad cow disease

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15541.
thousands of blue cans
in stacked, regimented rows
emblems of an age

--Sean Carman, cosimo@mindspring.com

15542.
Zounds! I cannot sleep
Pig poems slice through my brain
What was I thinking?

--Alec Proudfoot, alec_p@ix.netcom.com

15543.
You would not eat SPAM
If your house was downwind from
Gigantic pig farms.

--Milford Pigboy

15544.
If abattoir-bound
Hogs knew their fate would be SPAM:
Pig revolution!

--Milford Pigboy

15545.
Two stepping, with SPAM
that's edged in my back molar.
Oh, she'll lick it out.

--Mitzi

15546.
Two-stepping, with SPAM
to shine my cowboy boots clean.
Dapper reflection.

--Mitzi

15547.
Billy Bob eats SPAM
while singing in the shower.
Hillbilly twang grates.

--Mitzi

15548.
Big pig farms never
Invented by Soviets;
Capitalists did.

--Milford Pigboy

15549.
"Marketplace magic":
Pig stink, exploited workers,
Tainted water, SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15550.
SPAM Tastes Like Dog Crap
And Smells Like It, Too, I'd Say
NO WAY! Don't Eat SPAM!

--Anonymous

15551.
Was That Poop...Or SPAM?
SPAM Is Gross, Slimy, And Wet.
Smelly Crap? You Bet!

--Anonymous

15552.
I now know what SPAM
means! It stands for smelly and
processed anti-meat.

--Anonymous

15553.
Breakfast Menu List:
Big Guns, Ammo, Silencers.
Eat Hot SPAM, SlopeHead.

--GunnerGup, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15554.
Silence Precedes it,
Quiet and swift the passage.
Supersonic SPAM.

--GunnerGup, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15555.
Mad Matt's Gunnery.
Many Wonderful Choices.
SPAM Thy Enemies.

--GunnerGup, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15556.
I'm very hungry.
In front of my face lies SPAM.
No dinner for me!

--Anonymous

15557.
Long rigid and hot
It rises hard from my hips
And spews forth death SPAM

--Testosterone Tim, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15558.
Post Penetration
Then the feeling of weakness
No "small SPAM" this time

--Testosterone Tim, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15559.
Its nose presses skin
Slips into soft yielding flesh
Love me, love my slug

--Testosterone Tim, GunsAndButter@GraciousLiving

15560.
SPAM, the edible,
undigestible, and least
incredible food.

--Anonymous

15561.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM tastes like crap.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM sucks!

--Anonymous

15562.
Leftovers from pig
Disassembly line swept from
Floor for use in SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15563.
A kind word and SPAM
Will get you farther than just
A kind word alone.

--Al Capone

15564.
Modern miracle:
SPAM costs less than bone-in ham
And with much less waste.

--Sister Enid Christensen

15565.
Without SPAM, Mormon
Cooking as we know it would
Be impossible.

--Sister Enid Christensen

15566.
Jell-O salad, SPAM
Casserole: on menu for
July 24th.

--Sister Enid Christensen

15567.
Handcart pioneers
Bringing SPAM across the plains
Shout, "This is the Place!"

--Sister Enid Christensen

15568.
SPAM is good and great
it is yummy and it's rad
i really like SPAM

--melissa

15569.
cold SPAM is the best
it tastes great on anything
eat SPAM all the time!

--melissa

15570.
i love, i love SPAM
i love, yo yo, i love SPAM
i love, i love SPAM!!!!

--melissa

15571.
"What's the deal with SPAM?"
So began Jerry Seinfeld's
Rant against the stuff.

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

15572.
Glistening pink cube
Released in orgasm of
Spurting gooey spooge.

--Milford Pigboy

15573.
What's a nice Jewish
Girl like Monica doing
With SPAM stains on dress?

--Milford Pigboy

15574.
Pork Soda haunts me.
When Primus wrote this song, were
they thinking of SPAM?

--Chuck Beard

15575.
Just like Walt Whitman
Big, pink tactile lover-man
Rest on Leaves of SPAM

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15576.
Sweating, quivering
A pig in its own jelly
The can is mother

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15577.
Dave looks just like Pete.
Pete is made American.
SPAM is all that's left.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15578.
Is it cooked or not?
My wife and I argue this,
Not for the first time.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15579.
Red, white, and blue flag,
Mom, apple pie, and pressed meat.
I shed blood for this.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15580.
Man may not marry
man, but Hormel can and will
reconstitute ham.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15581.
Quote Bush, Quote Gore, but
still the dark horse outsider
sits in blue SPAM can.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15582.
Across Hungary
In Fiat Cinquecento.
Now I know SPAM's pain.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15583.
My lord cries for death
of canned meat interloper.
Justice will be done.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15584.
Old blues man told me:
Learned to play on SPAM guitar.
Doubt enters my mind.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15585.
Some things are hard, son,
but make you a better man.
So just eat your SPAM.

--Jefferson Crow, jefferson_crow@yahoo.com

15586.
I walk down the hall.
The SPAM, the SPAM watches me;
Pink death will soon come...

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15587.
Roll SPAM in your hands,
Make a ball; Do three more times.
Now juggle that SPAM!

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15588.
There they sit, staring;
Two angry, blue cans of SPAM.
Quiet, angry oinks.

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15589.
Inside the blue can,
What was pink has now turned green!
Look out! SPAMzilla!

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15590.
No more SPAM left, now.
Once more I weep sweet pink tears.
The SPAM gods mock me.

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15591.
Stick in a sharp fork.
Do you hear the oink it makes?
This SPAM is not done!

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15592.
I can hear it call;
The SPAM stalks me, follows me.
The can wants revenge.

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15593.
Take two pink meat loafs:
Stack them, mash them, make them one.
Taoism in SPAM.

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15594.
Sleeping late, snoring.
The smell of meat; I awake.
SPAM, now for breakfast.

--Andrew Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

15595.
made of many meats
sliding across the kitchen
leaving quite a mess

--Peter McLaughlin, mclaughlip@students.warnbro.wa.edu.au

15596.
For you my true love
A cube of unlucky hog
To stick up your ass

--wille-san

15597.
Angry neighbors of
Pig farms complain about stink:
Answer? Don't eat SPAM!

--Milford Pigboy

15598.
You will never see
Hormel CEOs living
Downwind from their farms.

--Milford Pigboy

15599.
Stench from pit toilets
Cannot begin to compare
To hog farm odor.

--Milford Pigboy

15600.
a sandwich that kills
SPAM and Velveeta on white
so unnatural!

--Russell Solomon & Jason Kunke, wackyruss@hotmail.com