SPAM Haiku 16801-16900

Move backwards to Numbers 16701-16800.


16801.
SPAM in outer space
Orbits merrily along
Mocking Mother Earth
--SPAM-Boo

16802.
Shame to all who bring
Stigma on the sinless tin
SPAM will conquer you

--SPAM-Boo

16803.
Hovering in sky
SPAM with diamonds begs to ask
How did Lucy rate?

--SPAM-Boo

16804.
Sitting at my Mac
I could write SPAM-ku all night
Time to go to bed

--SPAM-Boo

16805.
Smear skin with warm SPAM
And waves of joy will tremble
Through your genitals

--Meat packer

16806.
Pig barns in desert:
political dissidents
will be housed in them.

--Milford Pigboy

16807.
Line up for roll call
at re-education camp;
SPAM rations are next.

--Milford Pigboy

16808.
9 am SPAMFest:
no one showed up. I was so
lonely for one hour.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16809.
Oppressive silence.
Not the usual squeals and
clinking of ladles.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16810.
9 am meeting
Room cold enough to freeze SPAM
And thicken Gravy.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16811.
Icicles on nose
keep the squealing and oinking
to a minimum.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16812.
Slice our SPAM so thin
one can see through it. Same as
our non-work ethic.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16813.
Defense chiefs sit down
with taxpayer Gravy and
play three-SPAM monte.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16814.
Zero maintenance:
Deterioration. Yet
SPAM is eternal!!

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16815.
Two days vacation,
one-seven-oh incoming:
not enough SPAMKu!!!

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16816.
We do have ethics:
no SPAM, no Gravy will be
slurped before its time.

--Not_busy, just_too_lazy_to_submit@The_Boneyard.com

16817.
Turkey in can now
SPAM name, ground drumsticks and beaks
Happy Thanksgiving

--dawnannyce, dbyers@ci.rock-hill.sc.us

16818.
Turkey gobbler runs
Not fast enough, collision
Ground bird, blue can wins.

--dawnannyce, dbyers@ci.rock-hill.sc.us

16819.
What is SPAM in France?
Pulp Fiction assassin asks.
Is deodorant.

--dawnannyce, dbyers@ci.rock-hill.sc.us

16820.
Pink juice drips, then stops.
Shimmer light catches oil sheen;
one more can, empty.

--Mathew MacIver, maciver@mediaone.net

16821.
Oh, my SPAMmy SPAM
How I love to char your skin
Eat you up, with glee

--mikey, mfab69@webtv.net

16822.
Naked sun burns bright.
Glistening SPAM sweats moist beads.
Saturated fats.

--Antonia, aeliason@umich.edu

16823.
Life during wartime:
Only meat in stores is SPAM;
sometimes none at all.

--Milford Pigboy

16824.
Gelatinous Prize
Award for the Voracious
Like a Pink Oscar

--Rob Adams, graphicwizard@yahoo.com

16825.
When did I buy this?
Sometime in eighty-seven
It's SPAM, it's OKAY

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16826.
I feel the can give
Inside lies a meaty gift
Or meat-like at least

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16827.
He was all but gone:
what could raise the dead if not
intravenous SPAM?

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16828.
Make an impression:
it's no good talking turkey,
you gotta speak SPAM.

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16829.
I wandered, lone as
A SPAM fritter on a plate
Nobody chooses

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16830.
Security's tight--
they've gone to the expense of
a SPAM detector.

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16831.
SPAM for survival:
wonder if spiders eat it
when the flies are scarce?

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16832.
a man's whole life-SPAM:
the indigestion nightmare
three score tins and ten

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16833.
In the end I broke
like they all do on the rack:
yes, I stole your SPAM.

--francis hartnell, gladioli@aol.com

16834.
The stars glitter; the
wind stirs. Tonight, I fulfill
the SPAM prophecy.

--Fozzie

16835.
Tabloid headline reads,
"Victims Jelled in Tiny Tins!"
Son of SPAM at large...

--Jim Scott, unperson@alaska.net

16836.
Starving in lifeboat
Whole case of SPAM drifts nearby...
Starving in lifeboat

--Jim Scott, unperson@alaska.net

16837.
Hubble discovers
A cold, dead, and toxic world
Planet made of SPAM

--Jim Scott, unperson@alaska.net

16838.
Dot Com's quiet death
Lonely breaded SPAM meal waits
Not hidden enough!

--David Earl, david_g_earl@yahoo.com

16839.
Oakland home is cold
Find it in the top cupboard
Has it come to this?

--David Earl, david_g_earl@yahoo.com

16840.
SPAM is soft and pink
I squirm as it slides inside
Comes out still the same

--dannii & sarah, danniibroadhead@hotmail.com

16841.
Ne'er I thought the words,
"At last, a SPAM-ku website!"
Would pass from my lips...

--Anonymous

16842.
Bouncing balls of SPAM.
Like fat sugar pork fairies
dancing in my head.

--jnov

16843.
Early in the morn
I see myself eating SPAM
Ill from the hunger

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16844.
God! Oh, my god why
The dog ate the last SPAM can
I will kill him now

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16845.
I am a pinoy.
I love SPAM because of that.
Cupboard full of cans.

--Anonymous

16846.
I thought it was meat
So I ate the gooey blob
My stomach felt crass

--Miss Rosie and Senorita Margarita

16847.
Abattoir-bound hogs
raised just like office workers;
cubicle-confined.

--Milford Pigboy

16848.
Office designers
can learn from pig barns: eat, sleep,
live, s__t, in same pen.

--Milford Pigboy

16849.
I write poetry
for class, SPAM is my topic.
I fail with SPAM-ku.

--Steven A. Balsomico, Kyokoslave@aol.com

16850.
Teachers discuss SPAM
The pink pork product they love
I drop out of school

--Steven Balsomico, Kyokoslave@aol.com

16851.
Nineteen tins remain
Ninety-nine were on the wall
Posthumous record

--Dendrobia

16852.
Clinton named his price.
Rich slipped him a case of SPAM.
It's time to move on.

--Junkyard God

16853.
"Cubicle" is to
"office" as "fried SPAM" is to
"tinga poblana."

--Milford Pigboy

16854.
Pig stink molecules
waft through open window and
titillate nose nerves.

--MIlford Pigboy

16855.
Cyborg from Zero
Wing says "You have no chance to
survive make your time."

--Chairman Mao, asds@sdd.com

16856.
"Put down the bong Jim,
Your SPAM is now congealing!"
"How can you tell, Mom?"

--Scott Baio, Charles@incharge.com

16857.
Hunger I can feign
For a swamp sow cleft in twain!
I will die smiling!

--Skip Smith, alden.w.smith@vanderbilt.edu

16858.
Everybody was
Kung fu fighting. Those cats were
fast as lightning. SPAM!

--Anonymous

16859.
What's the fucking deal
with airline peanuts? Who knows?!
I am eating SPAM!

--Nashville Predators Hat, nashville@predators.hat

16860.
Only if my hair,
Stench drifting like pink mutton,
Were shaped like a chunk?

--Ginger Geek, djsmalley@hotmail.com

16861.
Though I plant, water,
tend and weed, my garden of
SPAM is barren, dry.

--Fozzie

16862.
It comes in a can
and smells not so delicious.
Oh, yum-yummy! SPAM!

--Princess Dragn1198

16863.
I am the Pretty
Soldier "Sailor SPAM!!!" In the
name of SPAM, I'll... umm...

--Anonymous

16864.
Cold quivering mass,
The gelatinous globules;
Taste buds hard-afire.

--Jason

16865.
SPAM is meat to eat
A neat treat not served in Crete
Eat SPAM, say god damn!

--Anonymous

16866.
SPAM doesn't ask why
Are you afraid of knowing?
SPAM does not care, friend.

--Anonymous

16867.
Evil minion growls:
"Someone set us up the BOMB!"
SPAM is a Weapon

--David Earl, david_g_earl@yahoo.com

16868.
SPAM is not a food,
Real meat can't be cut with string.
Blue tinned destruction.

--S Chavez

16869.
Somebody set up
us the can. What? All your SPAM
are belong to us.

--Steve Masticola

16870.
You are on the way
to destruction. Great justice:
Take off every "pig."

--Steve Masticola

16871.
Art Goldberg, my friend
Can never get enough SPAM.
It gives him the runs.

--M Brenner, brenner@pyramid.net

16872.
Collected the keys
Cut my fingers on the bands
S'posed to EAT that stuff?!

--Jim Topanga Lester

16873.
Throwing pies is fun
Three Stooges never tossed SPAM
Times were tough back then

--Roger Hornsby

16874.
Not quite pork or ham
nonbiodegradable
We all know it's SPAM

--Bon

16875.
SPAM/liposuction
Midsection vacuum/warm fat.
No real difference.

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16876.
Her hair swims like SPAM
Through my fingers--greasy. Ug!
I will take her home.

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16877.
The color of sex--
But most unerotic cube
Instant deflation

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16878.
Why don't they invent
SPAM crystals? Just add water,
Jiffy-quick pig fat.

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16879.
Why do people who
Trim fat off of steaks and pork
Eat SPAM? Ironic.

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16880.
I don't trust them much--
What is really in the can?
Why do you not care?

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16881.
Do they have a tool
To separate the bones/teeth,
From the guts/eyeballs?

--jason, jr_eagle@hotmail.com

16882.
Lovely, tempting smell
of frying SPAM is lost when
pig stink comes inside.

--Milford Pigboy

16883.
Why can't you all see
SPAM is not really a meat
Mystery product

--anne-onymous, saila_na@hotmail.com

16884.
SPAM gives me nightmares
I will suffer hunger pangs
Strange meat I won't eat

--anne-onymous, saila_na@hotmail.com

16885.
SPAM is like Sade
Smooth, with every can a hit
Also four letters

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16886.
SPAM is energy
Enlightenment in a can
I savor each bite

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16887.
They're calling it meat.
I am not so sure it is.
Do I take a chance?

--I.M. Bored, melman_749@yahoo.com

16888.
A wise man once said
I'm pink, therefore I am SPAM
Tell me I'm not pink

--Andrew Bolton, abolton@erols.com

16889.
Naked SPAM frying:
hazardous as grease sizzles;
must wear protection.

--Milford Pigboy

16890.
Hear turkey SPAM yell!
Have you done the SPAM yell yet?
Hammer's only hum.

--Opie Cunningham

16891.
SPAM sits in cupboard
Aura glows Salt-Meat Heaven,
Blue yellow tin God

--Tony Wardzinski, SPAMboy0@pacbell.net

16892.
SPAM is meaty crap
I hate SPAM, never ate SPAM
Aye, it ain't vegan

--BuJu de BuuJWeb, go-to-buujweb.com@it's-really-cool.

16893.
Suicidal? The
Hemlock Society has
recommended SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16894.
Beautiful Blue Can
Full of delicious SPAM. I'd
Rather eat the CAN!!!!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

16895.
pink and brown and white
my plate lies in wait squelch plop
i fry and eat you

--amy

16896.
A long, long Friday!
Dreaming all day of that pink
Wonderful feast. Flesh!

--Jefferey Dommer, cannibal@hotmail.com

16897.
Me? Hooked on SPAMku?
Visited this site for years.
Submitted hundreds!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

16898.
It's an addiction.
I'm trying to wean myself.
Like SPAM, can't do it!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

16899.
Gone for a few months.
Must come back to see what new
SPAMku has been shared!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

16900.
2/28 quake
Seattle shakes and rattles
Somehow it's SPAM's fault

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com


Move forwards to Numbers 16901-17000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.