SPAM Haiku 17001-17100

Move backwards to Numbers 16901-17000.

17001.
I've been East, been West,
North Pole, and South. Finally
Planted flag in SPAM.

--stant6@dandy.net

17002.
Hush! Sit quietly.
That sound you cannot hear is
SPAM not opening.

--stant6@dandy.net

17003.
Assault troops invade.
I brandish cases of SPAM.
Ah, look at them flee!

--stant6@dandy.net

17004.
Alpha Centauri,
So far away. The star smiles
Upon SPAMless Space.

--stant6@dandy.net

17005.
I've nothing against
SPAM, personally. Some of
My best friends are SPAM.

--stant6@dandy.net

17006.
Comfortable sleep.
Pillow conforms to my head
Filled with yielding SPAM.

--stant6@dandy.net

17007.
Have you ever seen
SPAM dyed bright green? Travesty
for St. Patrick's Day.

--Milford Pigboy

17008.
I like SPAM so much
I like to eat with the Dutch
I eat it for lunch

--Matt Jay, matthew_jay@bigfoot.com

17009.
Eatin' SPAM too long--
now I'm a candidate for
detox and rehab.

--Ohio-Gremlin

17010.
It's a bad "hair day"--
the mousse bottle is empty,
tried SPAM...it draws flies.

--Ohio-Gremlin

17011.
What more can be said
The delectable pink chunk
Is truly timeless

--Jim Calandriello, jcalandriello@yahoo.com

17012.
If you eat it raw
You are quite likely to have
Digestive upset

--Jim Calandriello, jcalandriello@yahoo.com

17013.
Chopped pig lips and tongues
Suspended in gelatin
Forced into a can

--Jim Calandriello, jcalandriello@yahoo.com

17014.
Solitary can
Abandoned by a camper
How I miss Clinic!

--Rasmussen

17015.
How processed, how good.
I open the can, Glory!
SPAM is before me.

--G. Sanders

17016.
Mars, the red planet,
contrary to old beliefs,
is covered with SPAM.

--Ohio-Gremlin

17017.
horror at party
mixing SPAM and LSD
a bad idea

--Chuck Beard

17018.
D & D (trademark)'s
Newest monster, behold the
SPAM Elemental!

--Chuck Beard

17019.
New TV ripoff
Muffy the SPAMpire Slayer
Buffy fans enraged

--Chuck Beard

17020.
Ancient evil tome
The NecroSPAMicon, its
Pages hold horrors

--Chuck Beard

17021.
SPAM Lite 3 years old
Created to be alone
I'll never eat it

--Boy

17022.
An old mystery
Older than the universe
Who eats meat jelly?

--Boy

17023.
Gelatinous mold
Metal lid squirts juice on hand
I don't think you're meat

--Melissa Gordon, melissazumsteg@yahoo.com

17024.
Sliding in my bowels
Greasy, salty ham flavor
Belching SPAM is fun

--Melissa Gordon, melissazumsteg@yahoo.com

17025.
Hormel and Outkast
Releases brand new album
It's SPAMkonia

--Ben Holland, Boffin69_@hotmail.com

17026.
SPAM, SPAM, not quite ham
Maybe 'tis not meant to eat
The other pink meat

--John Hagopian, wavefour@earthlink.net

17027.
Monster pig lagoons
proposed by Boss Hogg; guv'ment
says, "Request denied!!"

--Milford Pigboy

17028.
Stanford wins the game.
Get to Elite Eight over
Cincinnati SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17029.
As I said before...
SPAM on a Rhodes orange roll
makes a tasty treat!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17030.
Free ads on SPAM-ku?
Mix your product with some SPAM...
Ineffective ad!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17031.
The SPAM slabs gently
Spit and fizzle in the pan
No bacon again

--Anonymous

17032.
dinner time is here
anticipating pizza
topped with bits of SPAM

--Guinn Hodgson, dacomada@charter.net

17033.
SPAM and Vikings make
a great combination. Props
to Monty Python.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17034.
"How was the SPAM?" I
lifted a buttock and let
my response escape.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17035.
Recall SPAM because
of Mad Pig disease? Hormel
responds, "It might help."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17036.
waiting in the can
SPAM festers in the blue can
last laugh will be his

--noporkpartsboy, jvc1221

17037.
"Does baby-waby
Want SPAMmy whammy for lunch?"
"Yes, please, two servings."

--stant6@dandy.net

17038.
Martians arriving.
Plasma beams firing mayhem.
SPAM shields impotent.

--stant6@dandy.net

17039.
Deep in coral reefs
Plankton armies enrich sea
No SPAM--heh, heh, heh.

--stant6@dandy.net

17040.
SPAM lived here all year.
Claimed it as an exemption.
Guaranteed refund.

--stant6@dandy.net

17041.
Drafted. Won't eat SPAM.
Fled to Canadian soil.
SPAMnesty declared!

--stant6@dandy.net

17042.
stole it from brother
ignored its peccadillos
when drunk SPAM tastes great

--mattheadd, mheadd@twcny.rr.com

17043.
SPAM supply crisis!
Let not "green" concerns deter
production of pigs!

--Milford Pigboy

17044.
Bukowski ate SPAM
Degradation from neglect
What is my excuse?

--mattheadd, mheadd@twcny.rr.com

17045.
red eye flight to Spain
SPAM theme bon voyage party
buckle your seatbelt

--mattheadd, mheadd@twcny.rr.com

17046.
New experiment
Eat nothing but SPAM all year
Better write your will

--Ryan Wick

17047.
Lost in catacombs
But just before I lose hope
I see a keyed lid

--Ryan Wick

17048.
Neither good nor bad
I go to purgatory
There I will eat SPAM

--Ryan Wick

17049.
Can't afford shampoo?
Try washing your hair with SPAM
It conditions too

--Ryan Wick

17050.
SPAM versus SPAM-LITE
Great pork taste versus low-fat
I will never choose

--Ryan Wick

17051.
SPAM ingredients:
Pork, water, flavoring, and--
You don't want to know

--Ryan Wick

17052.
The World Wide Web SPAM
It is a network of pork
Possibilities!

--Ryan Wick

17053.
Pig-latin: AMSPAY!
But isn't SPAM made of pig?
Is it SPAM-latin?

--Ryan Wick

17054.
Slices shown on can
But opening reveals scam
Beware: Turkey SPAM

--David I. Brager (note: This is TRUE!), dibrager@scrypnosis.com

17055.
Fresh constipation?
Ex-Lax participation!
Anticipation...

--David I. Brager, dibrager@scrypnosis.com

17056.
i am SPAMacus
my tin armor will defend
until consumed i

--pbr street gang

17057.
In omelet, SPAM squats
Beside bacon, sausage links
Wonderful, lovely

--Louise Powell, louiseteresa@webtv.net

17058.
I squeeze my fist, watch
SPAM ooze through fingers. That's you
if you mess with me.

--Fozzie

17059.
SPAM and computers
make no sense at all, does it?
Snack while computing.

--sukhvir, breaker021@hotmail.com

17060.
Green slimy monster
It has come to eat your kids
SPAM glob reigns SUPREME

--sukhvir, breaker021@hotmail.com

17061.
Six Pack of Ass Mice
Dark clouds hover above us
SPAM lives in your walls

--sukhvir, breaker021@hotmail.com

17062.
Some People Ate Me
To the bathroom they all fled
Poisonous am I?

--sukhvir, breaker021@hotmail.com

17063.
Luncheon in a can
Pop the lid and carve a slice
A picnic of puke

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17064.
SPAM for lunch today
Students vomit everywhere
Detention for life!

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17065.
My mom adores SPAM
"Ecstasy in a Blue Can!"
My mom's so crazy

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17066.
Nothing is better
Than drinking SPAM shooters and
Regurgitating

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17067.
No good evidence
for global SPAMming exists:
we indulge, guilt-free!

--Milford Pigboy

17068.
SPAM on Survivor?
Only SPAM and bugs to eat.......?
All on island died!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17069.
Search SPAM-ku archive?
SPAM-ku has come a long way
From the beginning!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17070.
SPAM is great camping.
Fry it up in the pan with
Leftover fish guts.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

17071.
I spy a little
pig. It is extremely cute,
but I like mine canned.

--jnov

17072.
Truly SPAM's like me
Full of life and with pink flesh
To come from the can

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17073.
Luscious, like my wife
Sensuous caresses for it
I love SPAM too much

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17074.
SPAM flops out the can
I devour it with great lust
SPAM flops out my can

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17075.
Sometimes I wonder
Did Satan send SPAM to us?
I will never know

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17076.
Or maybe 'twas God
My brother calls it manna
I really don't know

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17077.
Commandments should say
Honor thy mother and SPAM
Moses, though, thought not

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17078.
I may betray him
For thirty pieces of SPAM
Then I'd gorge myself

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17079.
Walking in darkness
the solitude of the SPAM
It brings peace of mind

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17080.
A fallen monarch
The king of meat bows to steak
Sorry, she bought it

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17081.
How does this happen
A ninja comes to steal SPAM
My lotus style wins

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17082.
It's my companion
We walk through life, seeking peace
SPAM is my Kato

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17083.
I am the Batman
And SPAM is my Boy Wonder
So I don't get beat.

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17084.
Gingerly I walk
So I don't wake the SPAM up
It's a light sleeper

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17085.
Of course I love SPAM
A man can't ask for better
Though he may attempt

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17086.
Like the lotus flow'r
dainty, but without weakness
SPAM shows its true strength.

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

17087.
Annoying e-mail
Same name as gross luncheon meat
Not coincidence

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17088.
Survivor TV
Race for SPAM; only one runs
Voted off island

--Nick Gerich, nickmente@yahoo.com

17089.
As a poor young man
I often dined on raw SPAM
Thank goodness for beer

--Michael Jered Kopp

17090.
Open a SPAM can
Weigh its firm pink private part
Dare it inside you

--tripbeetle@hotmail.com

17091.
4000 A.D.
Disease and famine are gone.
Universal SPAM.

--stant6@dandy.net

17092.
Channel eighty-nine
Cable SPAM network debuts
Hormel beats Turner

--stant6@dandy.net

17093.
i drank some SPAM juice
that pools in the can's bottom--
i puked all night long

--Jake Carolan, kazoomaloo@cs.com

17094.
a hungry camper
starving for some real, good food--
backpack full of SPAM

--Jake Carolan, kazoomaloo@cs.com

17095.
SPAM with your breakfast
have a SPAM sandwich for lunch
what's for dinner? SPAM

--Jake Carolan, kazoomaloo@cs.com

17096.
AIDS-like pig disease,
spread by shared needles; practice
safe vaccination!

--Milford Pigboy

17097.
Nietzsche has written
"As you look into the SPAM,
it looks into you."

--Chuck Beard

17098.
Nietzsche also wrote
"That which does not SPAM me makes
a good ISP."

--Chuck Beard

17099.
dominatrixes
humiliate their slaves by
making them kiss SPAM

--Chuck Beard

17100.
ballplayers chew seeds
healthier than tobacco
soon a chaw of SPAM?

--mattheadd, mheadd@twcny.rr.com