SPAM Haiku 5901-6000

Move backwards to Numbers 5801-5900.

5901.
Starving homeless child
Still surprised to be drooling
SPAM-vapors rising

--Jay

5902.
Can't resist the thought
of SPAM e-mail with haiku.
I flood your mailbox!

--Rob Rosenberger

5903.
Fatty lump of SPAM
Like overdone pig in can.
I need TUMS now. NOW!

--MpFoStEr@FlAsH.NeT

5904.
Jelly surrounds it
Salty meat that resembles
Nature in distress

--Mark Rimple, mrimple@astro.ocis.temple.edu

5905.
In a better place
there is love, joy, and kindness,
but here there is SPAM.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5906.
You have captured some
of the world's greatest thinkers
inside your tin walls.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5907.
Miserable life,
Ended with a grotesque shock.
Isn't that enough?

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5908.
Last night I had a
dream that I cried through the eyes
of a spiced, canned swine.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5909.
She dressed a pink cube
to look like me, and ate it.
Now my shoulder hurts.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5910.
I only wrote this
to be part of the archive
that hosts SPAM haiku.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5911.
It's coincidence
that Hormel SPAM smells bad, and
e-mail "spam" spells bad.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5912.
The part about them
grinding gentle creatures was
not in the brochure.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5913.
My daughter asks me,
"Where does SPAM come from, daddy?"
"Go ask your mother."

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5914.
My daughter asks me,
"What does SPAM taste like, daddy?"
"You don't want to know."

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5915.
The stench of "Spiced Ham"
Pursues me through my manor.
Dead, and yet alive.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5916.
Spam in your inbox:
My e-mail through the wormhole
One more for the trash...

--Eye

5917.
Persons, depicted
In spamku are fictitious
This means: it ain't you!

--Eye

5918.
U of M colors
The football team keeps losing:
SPAM before training?

--Eye

5919.
SPAM between the strings.
A new Cage composition?
No: hog Bacchanale!

--Eye

5920.
The cleaning lady
used a can of Spic 'n' Spam.
My, how the tub shines!

--Eye

5921.
Vainglorious SPAM!
Over year, decade, eon
Only SPAM remains...

--Anonymous

5922.
God, whyfore is SPAM?
If not to eat, this pink flesh
What purpose remains?

--Anonymous

5923.
Yum, yum, gimme some
Byproduct of Porky Pig
A mouthful, this sludge...

--Anonymous

5924.
Spam backwards is maps
The Earth's globe shaped as a can
A new projection

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5925.
Spam backwards is maps
Finding the way to knowledge
A can or a plan

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5926.
Maps backwards is spam
The whole world as processed food
We can eat the Earth

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5927.
Maps backwards is spam
Palindrome with no real point
One can get you there

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5928.
Pigs die to make SPAM.
That's their only ambition.
Why don't they rule Earth?

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5929.
If pigs ruled the Earth,
SPAM would cease its existence.
Wouldn't life suck? Yes!

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5930.
SPAM's high in salt, fat,
But couldn't tell a pig that.
He'd be insulted.

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5931.
See, pigs are touchy.
That's why they don't rule the Earth.
Yay for SPAM! Eat it.

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5932.
Listen to that whine
coming from the pantry! Oh!
It's just the SPAM. Damn!

--Warren "the SPAMinator" Freeman

5933.
Don't be insulted.
It's perfectly normal for
Your SPAM to talk back.

--Warren "the SPAMinator" Freeman

5934.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
Sausage, SPAM, and SPAM.

--Monty Python

5935.
"I'll blow your house down,
turn you into SPAM! Open!"
Three pigs surrender.

--Brandon Estela, bme4b@virginia.edu

5936.
Just what is SPiced hAM?
Pork with infinite shelf life?
Nightmare in a can.

--Anna Wilberding, twilber@oeonline.com

5937.
Why can I not praise
SPAM with such wit and bon mots
Like all you lot do.

--The Copse, tmcd100@york.ac.uk

5938.
Speckled pink and white
It is quite gelatinous
Many grams of fat

--Aimee

5939.
If Doc put the SPAM
Into his Mr. Fusion
How far would he go?

--Anonymous

5940.
The Vulcan SPAM meld:
my organs to your organs,
my fat to your fat.

--Eye (er, Spock)

5941.
SPAM waves interfere:
"But I canna change the laws
of physics, Captain!"

--Eye (er, Scotty)

5942.
What do SPAM and a
violist have in common?
Compressed porcine brains.

--Eye

5943.
Why, J., we really
oughta stop meeting like this.
How 'bout SPAM dinner?

--Eye

5944.
SPAM tastes like feces
But still I eat the whole can,
Eat it all myself.

--David J. Wallace

5945.
Alas, the SPAM's gone
Children scream, women weep deep
"What will geeks eat now?"

--Anonymous

5946.
Those founts of knowledge
Bible, Koran, Torah all
Did not predict SPAM

--Anonymous

5947.
SPAM is my sunshine
SPAM, SPAM...SPAM is all you need
Bright, spam-shiny day!

--Anonymous

5948.
Brave SPAM rages on
Against the tide of cruel time
Pink Bricks will prevail!

--Anonymous

5949.
Welfare gives out SPAM
Instead of government checks
Unemployment ends

--Anonymous

5950.
The Sword in the SPAM
Too great a task for Arthur
Shamed, cries on Merlin

--Anonymous

5951.
Put SPAM up your butt.
It acts as a laxative.
GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT, POOP, PLOP!

--Matt and Mike, the Yeah-Ya Masterz, Chets@erols.com

5952.
SPAM in my stomach,
Like a twenty-ton weight in
A light pastry shell.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5953.
I certainly love
Eating SPAM when the men take
Off my straitjacket.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5954.
I'm transfixed, staring
At the SPAM. The clerk, frightened,
Stutters, "Sir, please leave."

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5955.
When he converted,
"Candy Man" couldn't eat pork.
SPAMmy? Not Sammy.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5956.
Oh, the love of SPAM
I eat it just twice a day
Men, white coats freed me

--Ryan "Chuckstermanperson" Rubin

5957.
you are a spamgot
SPAM leaks out of your gay butt
dripping down your balls

--Bill the Dill

5958.
My father loves SPAM.
He eats it ev-e-ry day.
You are what you eat.

--Anonymous

5959.
SPAM alone reviled
Back shelf dusty occupant
Food drive favorite

--Anonymous

5960.
Job hunting last week.
Talent--writing SPAM haiku.
Unemployment line.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

5961.
Throw one pig into
blender. Add salt and dye. The
recipe for SPAM.

--Anonymous

5962.
That ticking is not
My biological clock.
I'm just digesting.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5963.
Look, it only takes
Twenty-five ants to carry
A whole block of SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5964.
In the thawing snow,
The can's blue corner peeps out
Like spring's first crocus.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5965.
Ground pig lips and tails.
SPAM in a can like a ham--
Snorts and wags in bits.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5966.
Sealed SPAM in a can.
A pig's repressed memories--
Life in denial.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5967.
SPAM hors d'oeuvres on toast.
Farmer's pâté de foie gras--
Slaughterhouse party.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5968.
O doth wonderous
Meat in a can for my food
Consumption ready

--WeezerGuy

5969.
How awful it is
Not for human consumption
Used as bricks in room

--WeezerGuy

5970.
Everlasting meat
Along with great Twinkies now
To last forever

--WeezerGuy

5971.
SPAM, cat: in a box.
Without looking, can you say
If cat is alive?

--Anonymous

5972.
When you move real fast
Relative to the SPAM can,
SPAM looks smaller. Good.

--Anonymous

5973.
A bit of the old
ultraviolence cannot beat
a can full of SPAM.

--Anonymous

5974.
Why not SPAM-fried-rice?
Or quesadillas with SPAM?
SPAM transcends culture.

--Anonymous

5975.
Woe--the man who kills
his cat for food instead of
fryin' up some SPAM.

--Anonymous

5976.
SPAM on toast with egg
The toast and egg were perfect
The SPAM is still there

--Anonymous

5977.
Real pork in my SPAM
I guess the health inspector
Visited Hormel

--Anonymous

5978.
A monument, then
This site and many others
Worship your SPAM, worm

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5979.
I soar, unaided
Blue sky reveals its secret
"You are safe from Pink"

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5980.
Torn between two loves
I split myself with steel blade
"Take me now, Hormel..."

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5981.
May you forgive us
Generations yet to live
For this legacy

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5982.
Cube of salmon hue
You have no eyes, yet you peer
Into my foul need

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5983.
Forsake all others
Worship not false meat product
Now and always, SPAM

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5984.
Monolith of meat?
Insert slice A in slot B
Vomit then repeat!!!!!

--Zip Fabulous aka Julian Mason

5985.
SPAM is in a can
SPAM's lard is lubricating
Put some on yo' ride

--Anonymous

5986.
Modern truism
Eat SPAM, the world eats with you
Eat health food--alone

--Cholesterol 300

5987.
It's not a symbol,
And it's not a metaphor.
It's just dead pig, folks.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5988.
In my padded cell,
I offer SPAM to Moses.
A platypus grins.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5989.
America's soul
A slice of Aaron Copland
In a sky blue can

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5990.
Ukiyo-e print:
"Fifty Views of Mount Fuji
And a Can of SPAM"

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5991.
A killer of pigs.
"A heart attack on a plate."
SPAM is sui-cide.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5992.
Twister hits Hormel
At a distant trailer park,
Manna from heaven!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5993.
This transparent gel
Is a lens through which we view
America's heart.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5994.
A tramp steamer sinks
Canned pigs bob in the ocean
Blue upon the blue

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5995.
The beach picnic ends.
The sand blows, the naked SPAM
Puts on a tweed coat.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5996.
Bunyan loses Babe
Ox last spotted near Hormel
Blue SPAM for ten years!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5997.
Oh, my precious swine,
What could have become of thee?
Slumber in sweet gel.

--Michelle

5998.
porcine yet divine
such a pleasing taste and smell
like a hot dog cubed

--William B. Moore, bmoore@artemis.ess.ucla.edu

5999.
Did you read the one
about the SPAM and the cat?
That one just killed me

--William B. Moore, bmoore@artemis.ess.ucla.edu (with gratitude to Meredith Merritt)

6000.
Pale pink and fleshy
Caressed by clear gelatin
My thighs are like SPAM

--Hwei OH, ohh@mail.nj.com.au