SPAM Haiku 6201-6300

Move backwards to Numbers 6101-6200.


6201.
worms crawl in and out
ruddy mass of tabloid meat
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM splash
--Avo Lowe

6202.
frozen squirrel splat
furry jacket wrap SPAM's breast
soft suckle U.S.

--Avo Lowe

6203.
SPAM Kiev ala mode?
Gourmet's editing mistake
Monthly SPAM column

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6204.
A horrible sleep
SPAM lurked in my dreams, searching
Where is the mouthwash?

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6205.
The can awaits me
Blue and yellow nemesis
Cholesterol bomb

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6206.
Mother told me that
"SPAM is not for our kind, dear"
A white-trash sirloin

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6207.
Sad can, filled with fear,
porcine inadequacy.
Call its therapist.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6208.
Did Arnold Ziffle
in his porcine wisdom dream
of growing up canned?

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6209.
On Valentine's Day
beau brings flowers and some SPAM.
He leaves, door hits ass.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6210.
Jilted beau cries out
"But it's SPAM, your favorite!";
Can-sized dent in head

--Screamin' P. Erickson, pje@hyperion.haystack.edu

6211.
Spectator sees can
Strike man in head; calls doctor
Meantime, SPAM pillow

--Screamin' P. Erickson, pje@hyperion.haystack.edu

6212.
The blue cans give me
The Hormelian Horrors
Banal pink evil

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6213.
The suck of metal
Pulled from the vacuum-packed tin:
Anticipation

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6214.
He eats his SPAM for
His breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Lonely, lonely, guy

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6215.
Geometric meat
Stacked so neatly on the shelf
Pig squared--nth power

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6216.
Frank Lloyd Wright designed
house entirely made of SPAM.
Most unnatural!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6217.
If Falling Water
was made of SPAM, would it be
called Clogged Arteries?

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6218.
Frank Lloyd Wright designs
house entirely made of SPAM.
Local wildlife dies.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6219.
Frank Lloyd Wright's SPAM house
House-warming party nightmare
Evacuation!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6220.
Plymouth: Pilgrims land.
Indians offer SPAM, gifts.
Back to Mayflower!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6221.
My sleek, silent friend
With tinned patience you mock me
Release you I must

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6222.
SPAM sold in markets
Heart disease rate rises up
Serial killer?

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6223.
New Guinea warrior
brings white man's SPAM back to tribe;
they shun him for months.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6224.
Mom served SPAM on all
the major holidays. Oh,
how I dread Easter!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6225.
A loaf of SPAM, a
glass of wine, and thee, love. Wait!
Where are you going?

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6226.
My eyes grow tired, still
the SPAM muse beckons, vowing
glory in pork prose.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6227.
I've fear of sleeping
The pork blocks will seek me out
In my wildest dreams

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6228.
Woke up in a pile
Of beer cans, SPAM, and panties.
What a wild party.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6229.
Busy men must eat.
Successful ones develop
A taste for cold SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6230.
Once a luscious pink,
Now brown, shriveled like a corpse--
Too long in the stove.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6231.
"Inhale," the guru
Instructs. Distracted, he stops.
"Mmm! What is that smell?"

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6232.
I opened the can
And saw it was full of eyes.
I think I'll switch brands.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6233.
Ingredients: Salt,
Water, sugar, pork and ham
Sodium Nitrate

--Freaque

6234.
I must have SPAM now.
It is my heart's desire to
Eat that jigglin' flesh.

--Freaque

6235.
It is man-made meat.
It is a health food gone bad
And is not kosher.

--Freaque

6236.
SPAM. It would survive
A big nuclear holocaust.
SPAM rocks! Yeah! SPAM rocks!

--Freaque

6237.
When you're feeling sick
A spoonful of SPAM helps the
Medicine go down.

--Freaque

6238.
Ms. Lee pukes SPAM out
The backs of station wagons
Onto other cars.

--Freaque

6239.
Artist: k.d. lang
Subject: the world's need for SPAM
Song: Constant Craving

--erpenbec@usc.edu

6240.
squeeze goes the trigger
from the skull flies all the spam
who caused such sadness?

--Anonymous

6241.
Dr. Seuss writes "I
Do Not Like Green Eggs and SPAM."
Old tale, new ending.

--Matt Nielsen, mnielsen@dttus.com

6242.
Bedtime: Go to sleep
now or it's SPAM for breakfast.
A childhood nightmare.

--Matt Nielsen, mnielsen@dttus.com

6243.
McChicken, McRibs,
McNuggets. I guess McSPAM
would be redundant.

--Matt Nielsen, mnielsen@dttus.com

6244.
SPAM, the gift of God
Inheritance of the meek
Pop the lid, rejoice!

--Anonymous

6245.
SPAM slab on my plate
Pink and slimy pseudomeat
Mom made me eat it

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6246.
Glutinous slab of
Cardiovascular death
You eat it and die

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6247.
Why do they sell this
Can of animal trimmings?
Why do we buy this?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6248.
Didn't want the SPAM
Slimy pink chunks on my plate
Mom made me eat it

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6249.
My email in-box
Blue and yellow Hormel cans
Both are full of spam

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6250.
The AOL bunch
And all of the Hormel folks
Purveyors of spam

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6251.
Barfing at altar
The priest's fingers slick with grease
A SPAM communion

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6252.
Unholy blue cans
Bet the Anti-Christ eats it
It's the anti-food

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6253.
Made chicken-fried SPAM.
No kidding--my ex-husband
Loved it for dinner

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6254.
Don't feed your kids SPAM
Bet that's how Jeffrey Dahmer
Got urge to eat folks

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6255.
Can--blue and yellow.
Cub scout uniform--the same.
A coincidence?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6256.
Concentrated pork,
SPAM makes bacon look kosher
By comparison.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6257.
Surfed the Internet
Found SPAM haiku page by chance
A new obsession

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6258.
My labor intense
I compose new SPAM haiku
They think I'm working

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6259.
Using SPAM as lube
Imparts a whole new meaning
To the term "porking"

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6260.
Turning the SPAM key,
Unlocking the fat-laden
Mysteries within.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6261.
"SPAM is good for you,"
said the prophet, on the cross.
Crucified for SPAM.

--Christian Mackie

6262.
The Devil made SPAM
to destroy society.
It is working well

--Christian Mackie

6263.
Beautiful pinkness
Clear jelly between my toes
And then come the socks

--Zak Brown

6264.
SPAM lasts forever
World War Two made you happen
Python made famous

--Anonymous

6265.
Joan Crawford really
beat children with SPAM slices.
Slandered after death.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6266.
What is that horrid
smell? Queen Elizabeth has
new cook beheaded.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6267.
After the divorce
Fergie looks for perfect job:
Hormel spokeswoman!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6268.
Princess Di--a true
Goodwill Ambassador--will
never speak of SPAM.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6269.
My brother still likes
his Vienna Sausages.
See: childhood trauma.

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ultranet.com

6270.
Where are my panties?
And, wait...where did the SPAM go??
Oh Francis, you pig!

--Eye

6271.
Belgian beer or SPAM?
The pink stuff made me come back
to Detroit, no less...

--Eye

6272.
Dogs eat their own barf,
Humans eat mushed pig called SPAM.
What's the difference?

--Rob Latsha, http://WWW.SWT.EDU/~rl26598

6273.
SPAM on the wet ground
It's squishy between my toes
No one licks my feet

--Anonymous

6274.
"SPAM drives my illness.
Gorge the gelatinous mess!
Do I sicken you?"

--Jim Dever, JDever@king5.com

6275.
It whispers to me.
Squishy SPAM beneath my toes!
Finger-licking good?

--Anonymous

6276.
entombed beneath us
stale fallout shelter regrets
a cold war SPAM dream

--avo lowe

6277.
frightened reindeer paws.
santa's slumped form. sleigh falls. SPAM
in big red pocket.

--avo lowe

6278.
masked students surround
anatomy cadaver.
"SPAM sandwich?" class ends.

--avo lowe

6279.
satellite dish down.
no jimmy swaggert, so i
eat my SPAM with tears.

--avo lowe

6280.
two flutes stuck in SPAM.
conductor trembles. white rage.
damn tuba players.

--avo lowe

6281.
june. black mercury,
all day texas sun, pop trunk:
tonight we drink SPAM.

--avo lowe

6282.
Chinese puzzle box
Holds unreachable treasure--
Can without a key.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6283.
SPAM sliced so thinly
It flutters when I drop it.
Then the dog eats it.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6284.
The attic collapsed
Under the weight of the SPAM--
Grandma's secret stash.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6285.
SPAM: nostalgic treat
Whose sharp scent recalls my youth
Near the slaughterhouse.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

6286.
wake up. brush. SPAM feels
gritty on my teeth. damn. next
time buy real toothpaste.

--spamdaddy

6287.
Awake with a scream;
Slimy potted meat haunts me.
Must get my toothbrush!

--Anonymous

6288.
beaucoup de grands chefs
float facedown Seine. Hormel pulls
SPAM from Paris shelves.

--avo lowe

6289.
her hairy armpits
disclose the pink traces. SPAM
squish addict, lost soul.

--avo lowe

6290.
Scientifically
Processed Animal Matter:
A true acronym!

--Rik Williams, fermi@cris.com

6291.
Oozing porcine spleen,
I eat your gelled secretion
From a rounded tin.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6292.
Praise the Lord Jesus,
Providing me this manna;
Pink grainy crushed pig.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6293.
For whom the pork tolls,
I shudder, ever closer.
My love; sintered swine.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6294.
Wee funky porklet,
I thrust you in the grinder;
Eat your congealed mass.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6295.
Punctured pig remains;
Focus in upon its brains.
My apéritif.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6296.
Can--what you contain...
The lifeblood of the masses.
Saving block-'o'-hog.

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6297.
Tender, succulent,
Overachieving pig mash.
Sign me up for more!!!

--Derek Ruetsch, 76232.2746@compuserve.com

6298.
I wanted sweet meat
made by man and chemicals
but not by nature.

--Hans C. Masing, hans@anecdote.com

6299.
Oh, constipation.
The bowels are clamped shut now;
I think I'll have SPAM.

--Hans C. Masing, hans@anecdote.com

6300.
How the sweet pinkness
causes thoughts of lustfulness
and porkulescence.

--Hans C. Masing, hans@anecdote.com


Move forwards to Numbers 6301-6400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.