SPAM Haiku 6401-6500

Move backwards to Numbers 6301-6400.


6401.
Oh blue can divine,
Your heavenly contents will
Outlast the cosmos.
--[Cool] Courtney Rand, Former Vegetarian, SPAM Acolyte

6402.
drape bright kite color
across spring's rolling green wave
two hands on spam can

--Jacob Jesus Escapé, frederic@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu

6403.
death was not too much
for casual scientists
who dared to clone SPAM.

--avo lowe

6404.
spam musical fails
march madness...too eclectic
songs of six sick pigs

--Jacob Jesus Escapé, frederic@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu

6405.
Pray around the can
Together with my SPAM friends
We have lubricant

--M.W.Wild T.

6406.
The ghosts of SPAM past,
present, and future arrive
to feast upon Scrooge.

--WRKSOFFART

6407.
Were Jesus' last words
"Please don't make me eat of this,
Just crucify me!!!"?

--Wild T.

6408.
Therapy brought back
Memories of the blue can
SPAM abuse repressed

--M.W.Wild T.

6409.
I hate to eat SPAM
My mother made us eat it
Cold or hot, it's gross!

--Anonymous

6410.
Oh can of blue near
Low sodium will not do
Extra gel for you

--Anonymous

6411.
SPAM gravy on bread
perfect gourmet finish to
trailer skirting fête

--Bill Davis, wdavis6970@aol.com

6412.
SPAM can in garbage:
Sanitation worker notes,
"Thought I had it tough."

--Bill Davis, wdavis6970@aol.com

6413.
SPAM, original
school lunchroom mystery meat.
Accept no other.

--Bill Davis, wdavis6970@aol.com

6414.
I, out of dog food,
gave some SPAM to Doberman.
Thirty-three stitches.

--Bill Davis, wdavis6970@aol.com

6415.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Sits at his screen and eats SPAM
Is this really life?

--MSB

6416.
Making the long strokes
Turning the key, can't wait to
Drop my load of SPAM

--MSB

6417.
Jelly on my hands
Slapping pink meat in my palms
SPAMasturbation

--MSB

6418.
Only seven hairs
Beat the bishop in the can
Allowance for SPAM

--MSB

6419.
Marsha, Jan, Cindy
A SPAM they will never know
Alice gets revenge

--WRKSOFFART

6420.
My dog licks his balls
and rolls around in road kill
yet will not eat SPAM.

--M.W.Wild T.

6421.
Eat by candle light
Blow up doll and a blue can
Hormel romantic

--M.W.Wild T.

6422.
SPAM on a shingle
Fill the bathrooms with students
Does no one bring lunch?

--M.W.Wild T.

6423.
What would Darwin say
Does SPAM make the theory of
De-evolution?

--M.W.Wild T.

6424.
Up your ass motor-
cycle man, I am the SPAM,
don't you understand?

--Frogwash

6425.
Little ducky feet
Rain on a sidewalk of SPAM
Face down in vomit

--WILD T.

6426.
Love indigestion
Hormel's intestine cleaner
Burn through my colon

--WILD T.

6427.
Getting all caught up
Do I have SPAM in my lungs
Or some other phlegm

--WILD T.

6428.
Garbage bags full of
the SPAM I used to make love--
That kid just ain't right.

--WILD T.

6429.
Adam, Socrates,
Mickey Mouse never ate SPAM
or maybe they did.

--WILD T.

6430.
How does SPAM get here
Places not meant to house SPAM
Finish the laundry

--WILD T.

6431.
Take a walk on the
Wild side and the SPAM all sing
Do-Do-Do again

--WRKSOFFART

6432.
Hey don't be alarmed
We're only the garbage men
We won't steal your SPAM

--WILD T.

6433.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Stroke your SPAM in the kitchen
Don't step in that stuff

--MSB

6434.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Hot pink cube that are well oiled
Making SPAM gravy

--MSB

6435.
Green and unclean. How
mean to be seen. Green and un-
clean. Green eggs and SPAM.

--mark andersen, 0206043@acad.nwmissouri.edu

6436.
son of spam. slayer
of pork. sharp edge on can. spam.
son of spam killer.

--mark andersen, 0206043@acad.nwmissouri.edu

6437.
Opening the can,
I find the layer of ooze,
rubbing it on me.

--Anonymous

6438.
pigs at the slop trough
slurp at the rubbish with glee
but won't eat SPEOPLE

--Anonymous

6439.
Oh...the lost SPAM key
Pull the ring like a grenade
Run...I get the runs

--Reece McClung, nmcclung@goucher.edu

6440.
I devour the SPAM.
My gut sounds a symphony.
Toilet overflows.

--tsquared

6441.
SPAM and eggs on toast:
Breakfast of champions, no?
We eat to grow strong!

--Anonymous

6442.
SPAM is tasty stuff
It is very nutritious
Impossible bluff

--Jason Feltham

6443.
SPAM is tasty stuff,
It is very nutritious.
Have you seen my pills?

--Jason Feltham

6444.
My hands are like SPAM
Both contain flesh and some bone,
Some nail and knuckle

--Jason Feltham

6445.
If SPAM were made with
Poultry, beef, fish, or reptile;
Whaddya mean, "IF"?

--Jason Feltham

6446.
SPAM pink eaten love
White trembling on pork lipline
Warm SPAM cold cut um...

--Andy Loewy

6447.
Shed your tin skin! Then,
O squishy pink brick--raw, my
Tonsils lubricate...

--Marvin Long, Jr., marvin@fc.net

6448.
Protein in the SPAM
It's a strange anomaly
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6449.
Eating with no thought.
Porcelain enlightenment.
No think, therefore SPAM.

--tsquared

6450.
Played sick to stay home
Mom gave me fried SPAM for lunch
Not playing sick now

--Son of FDH

6451.
Jesus given choice
By SPAM or crucifixion
"Would a God eat SPAM?"

--BSM

6452.
In the sight of God
SPAM's an abomination
"But, I'm not a God"

--BSM

6453.
Crucified and dead
Ascension after three days
"I am the GODSPAM"

--BSM

6454.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Don't bogart that SPAM, my friend
When the SPAM is passed

--MSB

6455.
Pretend you are sick
Silly Monkey Spanking Boy
Roll another SPAM

--MSB

6456.
Got busted again
Jelly dripping from your SPAM
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6457.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What's the monkey that you SPAM
"I SPAM macaque, son"

--son of MSB

6458.
On the seventh day
God played a joke on the world
And created SPAM.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6459.
SPAM, oh dearest SPAM
I feel love's in our future
For I love to hate.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6460.
Slaughter some large pigs
Take the unusable parts
Grind them, call it SPAM

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6461.
Chunks of processed meat
Leap in my mouth forcefully
"SPAM," I moan, grateful

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6462.
I recently ate
Food from the man on the moon
Not as strange as SPAM

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6463.
Guitars gently weep
And when SPAM tries to digest
So does your colon.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6464.
I had a nightmare
I was young and given SPAM
"Goody!" I cried out

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6465.
My mouth often aches
For the mass of meat called SPAM
But my bowels cry.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6466.
Compressed meat product
A little gel and a can
My God, what a waste

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6467.
SPAM on the counter
Oh, Lord, I have eaten it
Hey, I've been drinking

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6468.
There is a strange sound
An odd sucking, slurping sound
SPAM exits the can

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6469.
I'm in a nightmare
I am being force-fed SPAM
Somebody slap me

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6470.
The meat I'm eating
Is covered in gelatin
And tastes real salty.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6471.
The twist key for SPAM
Would be very annoying
If I ate the crap.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6472.
With passion I hate
The rubbery mass of SPAM
And that vilest gel.

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6473.
When young, I took pills
To quell my heart condition
I ate SPAM a lot

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

6474.
How appropriate,
"Arteriosclerosis"
In a SPAM haiku.

--RE:729

6475.
Hoffa, Earhart, Bierce.
Where are they? What mystery?
SPAM cans tell no tales.

--tsquared

6476.
Screaming in horror,
"If Soylent Green is people...
My God, what is SPAM!"

--tsquared

6477.
Ad agency man
secretly loathes consumer.
Sells slick SPAM campaign.

--tsquared

6478.
The escaped convict
to throw the hounds from his trail,
rubs feet with SPAM-FREE!

--tsquared

6479.
Their swords forbidden,
shamed samurai open cans
commit SPAMmuku.

--tsquared

6480.
Fry pan sizzling grease
Unforgettable odor
Over easy SPAM

--Anonymous

6481.
Boasting purebred SPAM
Crumpled aluminum can
Wrapped in torn label

--Anonymous

6482.
popping grease waiting
scoop the slimy pork bolus
god what have i done

--Anonymous

6483.
Evolution or
Creation. How did SPAM start.
Eternity waits.

--Son of FDH

6484.
Primordial ooze
Covers the SPAM but is it
Darwin or Devine

--Son of FDH

6485.
SPAM evolution
Freely taught to my children
Could God create SPAM

--Son of FDH

6486.
Evolution or
Creation the SPAM debate
Only Hormel knows

--Son of FDH

6487.
Darwin and the Church
Shall finally come to see
That the SPAM just is

--Son of FDH

6488.
The young novice asked
"Give me koan to ponder."
"SPAM," replied master.

--tsquared

6489.
"Let my people go!"
The Pharaoh laughed in reply
Lo!, A plague of SPAM.

--tsquared

6490.
My uncle died young,
died of consumption they say.
He ate only SPAM.

--tsquared

6491.
Hitler, Stalin, Mao,
Judas, Napoleon all
Feast on SPAM in Hell.

--tsquared

6492.
Squadrons of pink meat
Ready to attack bowels
Stand at attention

--Uncle Jay

6493.
See the bluish can
See white-laced pink stuff inside
I dream in color

--Uncle Jay

6494.
My lubricant's gone
And I can't use Vaseline
So I'll use SPAM gel

--Uncle Jay

6495.
Have you ever seen
A cat hack up a fur ball?
That's me eating SPAM.

--Uncle Jay

6496.
A dog sees a dog
One gives the other a tip
Do not eat SPAM scraps

--Uncle Jay

6497.
Just like chewing gum
Your intestines won't digest
If you swallow SPAM

--Uncle Jay

6498.
Homer Simpson drooled.
"SPAM," he said contentedly.
"Better than donuts."

--Uncle Jay

6499.
SPAM for President?
What cannot make a good lunch
Shouldn't run countries.

--Uncle Jay

6500.
The meat makes you fat
Salt makes you retain water
You turn into SPAM

--Uncle Jay


Move forwards to Numbers 6501-6600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.