SPAM Haiku 9401-9500

Move backwards to Numbers 9301-9400.

9401.
Quivering pink gel
Silent, deadly, strikes at night
SPAMjelly revenge!

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9402.
Howling souls cry out
Dogs, cats, rodents, mobsters... SPAM
The rumors were true

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9403.
SPAM spread on my face
Enhances my summer tan
Ready for the beach!

--Bruce

9404.
good god what is it
it frankly could be people
pink & horrid stuff

--blackfall, blackfall@webtv.net

9405.
Oh my, what a treat
A place for an ode to meat
Slice thin and then heat

--bama, rolltideal@juno.com

9406.
Who mocks SPAM haiku?
Those with even more spare time
Than haiku writers

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9407.
Pink Tarty Morsel
Speckled with salt and more meat
A block of dog shit

--SQ

9408.
Mumbles Menino
Mayor of city of SPAM
Menino Mumbles

--A Spam Fan, Spamfan@prod.butt

9409.
Impotence struck Strauss.
He ate more SPAM then came up
With The Blue Can Lube.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9410.
A busy scene at
SPAMarama. Where's Waldo?
In the john, retching.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9411.
I thought she had called
SPAM "unsinkable" but she
Didn't have a lisp.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9412.
SPAM IS GOOD FOR YOU
SPAM IS A FORM OF SOME HELP
SPAM IS GOOD FOR YOU

--Nick, RUjmyray@aol.com

9413.
SPAM is so yummy
SPAM is very beautiful
I REALLY HATE SPAM!

--kt, arizala@ruonline.net

9414.
Hormel SPAMmed eye am
Triple X rated daily
All X-eye-id NOT!

--Anonymous

9415.
A L T Protein
T-less boned beauty you are
Filet-Mignon-'Spam

--S Þ À |\\/| |\\/| ¥

9416.
SPAM is to Dingos,
What sex is to Cal. gringos.
It comes in a can.

--Spamculatorious

9417.
SPAM yearns for Love's kiss,
though spurned, rebuffed, and forlorn.
SPAM, unrequited!

--James Stover, stover13@juno.com

9418.
SPAM, sheathed in cold steel,
impervious to decay.
SPAM, invincible!

--James Stover, stover13@juno.com

9419.
SPAM drips off my roof,
It tickles my pink ham-bone;
O, to dream in SPAM.

--Jules and pink art girl

9420.
Voiceless victim of
Speciesism becomes pink goo
In a small tin can.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@igs.net

9421.
I had found some SPAM
My grandma ate it all up
Now she is no more

--Emily and Sarah, JolyChoper@AOL.com

9422.
Salt Pork And Muscle.
Like boils, I've never had ya.
SPAM virgin I am

--Ratchafratch Skidoo

9423.
Yesterday it worked
Today it simply will not
Windows is like that

--Anonymous

9424.
Yesterday it worked
Today it simply will not
SPAM can be like that

--Anonymous

9425.
hating spam is fun
nobody knows what it is,
cow, pig, dog, or horse?

--Haters of spam

9426.
SPAM is a delight
While eating, throw up west side
Have a nice death, dog

--Da Man Right Here

9427.
I gaze at you by
the spamlight; we toss pink flanks
into blue-green fire.

--Jules and pink art girl

9428.
Schoolchild feels depressed.
"Honey? Dinnertime. SPAM stew."
Shotgun suicide.

--Little Shovel

9429.
I ate SPAM for lunch
I sit in tub with water
Bath water is pink

--odelphi@interserv.com

9430.
I touch SPAM with hands
Visions of death invade head
Now hands are washed raw

--odelphi@interserv.com

9431.
Gelatinous mass
So viscous and hideous
Insidious pink

--charli, charli137@aol.com

9432.
Fire, hail, locusts, dark
But most cruel and vile of plagues
Blue can of pork slime

--JFE, jfe@crash.uoregon.edu

9433.
disgusting pink glob
waiting for its next victim
while in the blue can

--haters of spam

9434.
SPAM rice and beans Pow!
So sorry about that mom's
The Menendez boys

--Anonymouse

9435.
Disgusting I am
Toxic waste is mere ice cream
Compared to me...SPAM

--Con Kissed De Door

9436.
Pustules of diseased
Mad Pig body parts pre-chewed
By toothless winos

--The Slingo Nut

9437.
SPAM in a blue can
More toxic than my wiener
Lewinsky lunch meat

--W.J.C., Monie@yup.net

9438.
spam, glorious gel
twinkling in the bright sunlight
reflects and blinds me

--B_Natch, B_Line12@hotmail.com

9439.
Gyrating pinkness
Undulating tenderloin
Honorable SPAM

--xantho@aol.com

9440.
Dead animal parts
Suspended in gelatin
Pink, moist, repulsive

--Spam Franklin

9441.
Chinese torture tool
Slowly drip SPAM on forehead
Die miserably

--odelphi@interserv.com

9442.
Eat SPAM for birthday
It's my body and I will
Die if I want to

--odelphi@interserv.com

9443.
Products from the past
More kitschy now than kitchen
Is nothing sacred?

--J. Miller

9444.
eating spam is like...
the worst nightmare in a can
how horrifying

--haters of spam

9445.
Great Society?
LBJ don't eat no SPAM!
Sent to Vietnam.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9446.
Twenty years in cave.
Wake up, SPAM Zarathustra!
Mustard sun rises.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9447.
If I ate some SPAM
and you ate SPAM, we would be
dead in five minutes.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9448.
Monty Python skit
Scary-looking myst'ry meat
Unwanted email

--J. Miller

9449.
Rows of square blue cans
Everything seems processed now
Bright fluorescent light

--J. Miller

9450.
Jesus! I love SPAM
It warms my buttocks, oooh ahhhh!
Otherwise, they're cold

--King Daniel

9451.
Pink meat, blue steel can,
virgin, waiting for the key.
Hot jelly quivers.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9452.
Captain Kirk eats SPAM
Spock says it's illogical
Spam me up Scotty

--spamnugget, akcnoble@worldnet.att.net

9453.
Hens participate,
Pigs commit, SPAM and egg meals.
Metaphors for life.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9454.
What SPAM hath God wrought?
That which is canned and is pink
And it is not Floyd

--Gil Glass, gdglass@erols.com

9455.
a lot of pressure
holds my tender sweetness in
open the can now

--Damian Didden

9456.
cold unyielding steel
warm gelatinous quiver
yin and yang of lunch

--Damian Didden

9457.
pinkish meaty brick
paper towel for the slime
spamlicious as is

--Damian Didden

9458.
Wonder Bread, Yoo-Hoo,
Baked beans, corn-on-the-cob, SPAM
All-American

--Damian Didden

9459.
I sat on some SPAM
at the nudist colony.
Mustard on my butt.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9460.
Two hogs makin' love
with much effort are aroused.
"Spam me daddy-o."

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9461.
If a can of SPAM
was opened with no one there,
would it still smell bad?

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9462.
Generation X.
Stoned, they pray for hog parts at
Church of Holy SPAM.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9463.
Stuck in traffic jam
met the man who makes the SPAM
missing a few parts.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9464.
Spam the President
Monica Lewinsky did
Vince Foster his SPAM

--Hilarity

9465.
Clinton sends us SPAM
Americans are extinct
Clinton feels no pain

--Anonymous

9466.
Moist pink slice of meat
Hides in its blue metal home
SPAM, come out to play

--DAVE SLADE

9467.
I lick the SPAM slice
It doesn't taste very nice
SPAM lacks some real spice

--Dave Slade

9468.
It's in my belly
Heavy pink meat and jelly
SPAM farts are smelly

--Dave Slade

9469.
We then realized that
We were powerless over
Our SPAM addiction

--Alex, agent_lx@yahoo.com

9470.
Came to believe that
A power greater than SPAM
Couldn't restore us

--Mindless, farfromuzin@yahoo.com

9471.
I feel a need for
Some jelly from the bottom
The BLUE can provides

--Alex, agent_lx@hotmail.com

9472.
SPAM... Parts of the pig
That even the Indians
Would throw the hell out

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9473.
Even Eskimos
Won't eat these parts of the pig.
Leave it to Hormel!

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9474.
Silly SPAM putty
Diaper lumps post-digested
Memorabilia

--Spammy From Alabammy, Fartz@everywhere.net

9475.
Toilet tissue SPAM
Cannot do the job at all
New SPAM in the can

--Hedda Hopper, PorcelinGod@the time.com

9476.
put spam in beaker
add hydrochloric acid
watch spam disappear

--despiser of spam

9477.
Happy Day Mothers
Spammin' yo momma today
Blue cannin' you all

--Goosebumps, Info@funkybutt.com

9478.
I have a friend who
keeps a can of SPAM on hand
just for Judgment Day.

--Anonymous

9479.
Will the SPAM itself
ever eat through its tin case?
--Time passes slowly.

--Anonymous

9480.
At the ancient pond:
Suddenly, a can of SPAM--
Deep, resonant sound.

--Anonymous

9481.
What is Monkey SPAM
Two intangibles meeting
Mind is still foggy

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9482.
Can of SPAM in hand
What is this "Buddha Nature"
Can holds no answers

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9483.
In our English class
We hid SPAM from our teacher
It was a fun game

--Anonymous

9484.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM
Is SPAM just a can of "meat"
Is SPAM was SPAM is

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9485.
SPAM snorting cowboy
Nostrilized the gel daily
Until his horse died

--Gee Naughtry, Oldgene@corral.net

9486.
Montezuma squirts
Butcher, butcher spare that SPAM
Butt-plug needed now

--Anonymous

9487.
Is your can true blue?
Is your booty pink inside?
Bears spam in the woods?

--Yoginomics, Yogi@jellystone.not

9488.
Came in a blue can
A gay Martian once recalled
It was my true love

--Juicy Brucie, JuicyB@prodigy.net

9489.
If you eat SPAM once
You'll have to taste it again
Burping belching SPAM

--Spam I am, I am Spam

9490.
In cold Canada
SPAM-alike is sold. Called KAM.
Confusing name game.

--Anonymous

9491.
Mind in the gutter,
I think of SPAM and say "Shit!"
But just tastes like it.

--Anonymous

9492.
Cartoon tragedy:
Porky goes missing Monday.
Tuesday, SPAM shipment.

--Anonymous

9493.
Buckingham Palace:
Guards on strike, won't protect it.
Beefeaters want SPAM.

--Anonymous

9494.
Band called Save Ferris
Sings sprightly anthem. A theme
for this site, maybe?

--Anonymous

9495.
Topicality?
Ha! I make no headline joke,
for SPAM is timeless.

--Anonymous

9496.
Hormel's holy food
Promotes religious values.
(Well, not for the Jews.)

--Anonymous

9497.
Shrunken scientist
Microscopic inside meat:
SPAMtastic Voyage

--Anonymous

9498.
Play the meat backwards
and you hear hidden message:
Buy Rand-McNally.

--Anonymous

9499.
Australian slang term
for Americans? With SPAM,
"Septic" seems to fit.

--Anonymous

9500.
Clinton to Castro:
"Embargo ends, we send SPAM."
Cuba falls next day.

--Anonymous