SPAM Haiku 9701-9800

Move backwards to Numbers 9601-9700.


9701.
JESUS DIED FOR ME
HE COULD HAVE JUST EATEN MY
SHARE OF SPAM INSTEAD
--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9702.
CHRIST WAS TEMPTED THUS
"GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN....
AND PASS ME THE SPAM"

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9703.
WHEN I SAY OUT LOUD
"PLEASE PASS THE SPAM"....IS REQUEST
TO COLON, NOT GUEST.

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9704.
IS SPHINCTER PINKER
AFTER SPAM DIGESTS OR MORE
BROWN.....THAT'S THE QUESTION......

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9705.
MEAT SPECKS STUCK TO WALLS
TO BALLS AND LIMBER MEMBER
WAS SPAM DREAM GIRL REAL

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9706.
IN SHAME I SIT AND
REFLECT UPON THESE WRITINGS
GOTTA GET A LIFE

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9707.
PATHETIC SPAM FREAK
OF PUTRID PIG PASTE I REEK
MUST STOP THIS.....NEXT WEEK

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9708.
POOR OLD LIBBY DOLE
LICKING SPAM FROM BOB'S STOUT POLE
SHE'S GOT FARMLAND SOUL

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9709.
COME HILLARY NOW
MONICA ATE IT....YOU CAN
SWALLOW THIS TALE WHOLE

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9710.
IF RUSH WERE TO FUCK
A CAN OF SPAM, WOULD SPAWN'S NAME
BE HORMEL GINGRICH?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9711.
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
DROPS TURDS LIKE MOUSE 'TIL SPAM EATS
AND THEN NEWTLEAR BOMBS

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9712.
I SAT AND SHAT AND
THEN THOUGHT OF NIXON....SO GLAD
HE, LIKE SPAM LONG DEAD

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9713.
SAD...NO PORKLETS I
SO WILLING..I.Q. SO HIGH
BUT SPAM COUNT TOO LOW

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9714.
SPURT OH MIGHTY CHUNKS,
FROM ANUS SO STRONG AND YOUNG
SPAM TURNS QUICK TO DUNG

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9715.
SPATTERETH YE WALLS
OF THE PORCELAIN GRAVEYARD WITH
SALVOS OF HOT SPAM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9716.
I KNEW IT WAS WRONG
I HAD FRAGGED CAPTAIN HORMEL.....
DOWN IN VIET SPAM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9717.
THE VIET SPAMESE
WOULD NEVER FIGHT THEIR OWN WAR
NO PORK CUBES FOR THEM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9718.
WHY ARE LAWYERS LIKE
SPAM....REPULSIVE, PINK, SLIMY
AND SO FUCKING SQUARE?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9719.
IF GOD IS DEAD THEN
WHO IN HELL IS SHAVING RATS
THEREFORE MAKING SPAM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9720.
I WILL SURRENDER
MY WILL, MY SOUL, MY POOP HOLE
TO GLORIOUS SPAM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9721.
MALE CHAUVINST PIG....
MY ASS! I CAN REPLACE YOU
WITH HANDFUL OF SPAM

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9722.
GET YOU A JOB BOB
STOP SMEARING GOB AFTER GOB
OF SPAM ON YOUR KNOB

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9723.
MY MIND IS REELING
BEREFT OF FEELING....HAVING
A SPAMOUS BREAKDOWN

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM

9724.
Every day and night
I love my green eggs and SPAM
My bowels can't wait

--Anonymous

9725.
SPAM you holy thing
The potted meat food of kings
You make my tongue sing

--SPAMMAN

9726.
Yummy yet I brood:
Who did die to make this food?
No man knows, or asks...

--Anonymous

9727.
Viagra? No way!
Oysters and SPAM. Now, that's an
Aphrodisiac!

--Junkyard God

9728.
Is that so? Can't mix
Nitrites, Viagra? No more
Romantic dinners.

--Junkyard God

9729.
Watching my plate of
warm SPAM cool. Savor delayed
Gratification.

--Junkyard God

9730.
I ate Madonna's
left over SPAM. I'll never
brush my teeth again.

--Junkyard God

9731.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Open cans near the campsite,
Keep the bears away.

--Junkyard God

9732.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Put the jelly on your nose.
SPF 15.

--Junkyard God

9733.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Bait the hook. Eat the fish that
Float to the surface.

--Junkyard God

9734.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Put it in your boots. It will
Help prevent blisters.

--Junkyard God

9735.
Roughing it with SPAM.
I keep some in the tent on
Cold and lonely nights.

--Junkyard God

9736.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Take it into the desert.
You won't need salt pills.

--Junkyard God

9737.
Roughing it with SPAM.
To stay dry in the rain just
Smear some on the tent.

--Junkyard God

9738.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Put a string in it and light.
An eternal flame.

--Junkyard God

9739.
Roughing it with SPAM.
Pack it in. Pack it out. Save
the environment.

--Junkyard God

9740.
I seek thee, dear SPAM
Opening the temple can
I am born again

--scott van dyke

9741.
The other white meat?
This is a sham! Be unique
The pink meat is SPAM

--scott van dyke

9742.
SPAM slices on plate
Like a soft lotus flower
Balance is attained

--scott van dyke

9743.
St. SPAM of the Web...
Bless this stuff before we eat,
Ipecac chaser.

--Ipecacuanha, Dr.K@gone.gone

9744.
Words have no power.
Religion meaningless, void.
SPAM is what IT is.

-- ex-Rev. Dover S. Powder, OurLadyofSpam@last./

9745.
Poor Phil Hartman's wife.
Was reduced to eating SPAM.
Brynn and bear it? NOT!

--Saturday Night Dead, Lastcall@all

9746.
Embarrassed when I
Opened Pandora's box wide....
Echoes of sweet SPAM.

--Padora Beenaround, Spamvalley@dalley

9747.
Roughing it with SPAM
Boy Scouts bring Pepto Bismol
Motto: Be Prepared

--Junkyard God

9748.
Put SPAM in the thong
of a cute tittie dancer.
Showed me a good time.

--Junkyard God

9749.
Oh God! Don't buy that!
That shit is gross. How 'bout steak?
SPAM weeps jelly tears.

--Junkyard God

9750.
$$$ Earn Cash on the Web $$$
$$$ sleazo@ripoff.com $$$
Gives SPAM a bad name

--Junkyard God

9751.
Greasy slice of SPAM
Clogging up my arteries
Angioplasty

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9752.
Late night passions call.
Porno tape, a bite to eat.
Soft blue light, pink flesh.

--Junkyard God

9753.
Took a bath last night.
Out of soap, so I used SPAM.
Greasy bubbles. Fun.

--Junkyard God

9754.
My girlfriend asked how
I discovered SPAM haiku.
The Wall Street Journal.

--Junkyard God

9755.
Will the stock market
or the SPAM haiku archive
reach ten thousand first?

--Junkyard God

9756.
"Fsssk" sighs the grey tin.
Putrid scent--dog, children flee.
"Pops! Your SPAM's ready."

--Jeff Fowler, jeff-melanie@mindspring.com

9757.
Seeping grease where cut,
A rubbery sponge of fat
Whose batter won't stick

--Jeff Fowler, jeff-melanie@mindspring.com

9758.
Yuck! What's in this crap?
Scoop it out and throw away.
Watch the silent scream.

--Junkyard God

9759.
my first taste of SPAM
the sun rises over land
joyfully I live

--scott van dyke

9760.
Pink globules of fat
Seep into my consciousness
Repulsed, once again

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9761.
Death by Spamicide.
Read the coroner's report.
Vince Fostered Hormel.

--Spam Daemon, Noone@nowhere.com

9762.
Good Morning Viet Spam!
We're surrounded by you now.
We live in New York.

--Spam Addict Man, Anonymou$

9763.
i am spam and i
am lost in spam without me
megottagonow

--billy "left-hand" spam

9764.
Salty flesh of pig
Flaccid three-inch planks quiver
Twixt thumb and finger

--Robin McDonald, immickey@aol.com

9765.
Beanie Baby art.
Little Spurds carved out of SPAM.
Afterbirth et al.

--Flatulina Flatus, Phrrrt@once.not

9766.
Oh, the pain of them.
Spamgleberries, wretched things.
Found in my bloomers.

--Flatulina Flatus, Phrrrt@once.not

9767.
Spamgleberries dropped
To the carpet from crotch height.
Smart pills for the kids.

--Flatulina's Friend, Phrrrt@once.not

9768.
Spamgleberries found
In the bath tub clog the drains.
Better them ... than me.

--Flatulina's Fiance, Phrrrt@once.not

9769.
Last night I dreamed this:
That I was swimming in spam.
Waiting to download.

--ShadowZen, gypsyjoe@usit.net

9770.
spam sits on my shelf
i wish i was spam myself
or a little elf

--HBA gorseinon

9771.
i wonder what's in
the meat with a funny tin
put it in the bin

--HBA gorseinon college (emma)

9772.
I'm not in the squad
I'm going to kill Glenn Hodd
By feeding him SPAM

--Gazza

9773.
Why do people eat
Bunny meat from bunny feet?
Beware the blue can

--Andrew Sbanotto, antifred@yahoo.com

9774.
Children! Listen, please.
The meat that you know as SPAM,
Shall be feared by all.

--Andrew Sbanotto, antifred@yahoo.com

9775.
SPAM in French is SPAM.
Internationally gross
In any language.

--Spam Eggs Sausage and Spam, ristont@opentext.ca

9776.
SPAM, SPAM! Oh, pink SPAM!!
Beautiful, generic ham
delicious!

--beautiful Eb

9777.
'Round the glowing fire
chanting again and again:
SPAM, Lucifer, life!

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9778.
He: "Will work for food."
Me: Slowed down and offered SPAM.
He: Reached for a gun.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9779.
Sow at grocery store
while on SPAM aisle hides pig's eyes.
"One day, little one ..."

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9780.
One-armed man on lam
stops to eat a can of SPAM
Now they got him. Damn!!

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9781.
Clinton's here Boston!
Hide the children you hold dear.
And that's not just SPAM.

--Mumbles Did It, Nothanks.2u

9782.
Ahhhhh! Great SPAMBURGER.
Was it good for you Honey?
A cigarette please.....

--Canned Eat, canned@nonet

9783.
SPAM deliverance.
I'll squeal like a pig for SPAM.
What a ham I am.

--Spammy Pammy, Pammy@live.net

9784.
Hey, diddle, diddle,
And the cat didn't fiddle.
He OD'd on SPAM.

--Eleventieth life, DeadMorris.iam

9785.
the little blue can
a health crisis is inside
send the thing away

--boycotter of spam

9786.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM-MITY SPAM-MITY SPAM
By heck you're gorgeous

--Spam meister

9787.
Haiku is my game
SPAM is Hormel's endless shame
Hit submit too soon

--Cloudy

9788.
Carry resentment
Past childhood SPAM memories
Choke down pink terror

--Cloudy

9789.
Brandy, I'm a schmuck.
Spammed you one too many times.
Enlightenment bites!

--Brand(y's) X, AnOnYmOuS

9790.
Brandy was dandy.
My meat and my booze is gone.
In one fell swoop.... Spammed!

--Iben Spammed, meatloaf4me@last

9791.
Research shows it's true:
In households where SPAM is served...
Hairballs are quite rare.

--Asphyxianado, John@headnet

9792.
Jared Stamm erred .... when
When he er, .... THOUGHT.... about SPAM.
Strangely enlightened.

--SPAMkuku, needle in a haystack

9793.
Splat! Right on my head.
SPAMkuku nested I sat.
Juan flew over me.

--SPAMkuku, seepybones.oya

9794.
Hello SPAMku friends,
Good to see you all brain-locked.
Pig got your fingers?

--Pueco Pete, Pete@resnet.com

9795.
I was raised on SPAM.
Drank it out of the bottle.
Parents ate the meat.

--Gonzo, I get enough thanks.

9796.
Over the counter,
Sold without a prescription.
Not the antidote.

--MoUpchuck4urBuck, Anoonymously Yours

9797.
South Asian war looms
Line the border with SPAM chunks
Neither side will cross

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9798.
Patton drives soldiers
By withholding the real meat
"Old Blood, Guts 'n' SPAM"

--Anonymous

9799.
Sheen in deep jungle
Finds Brando has SPAM stockpile
"The horror..." fade out

--Anonymous

9800.
SPAM comes from a can
It was put there by a man
Why did he do it?

--Anonymous


Move forwards to Numbers 9801-9900.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.