SPAM Haiku: The SHAM's Tasty Picks (Part 6)

Note: Please do not send mail bombs if your haiku is not included in this collection. It is, however, acceptable to send a slice of SPAM in an envelope as a gesture of protest. Remember, this is just one person's opinion as to what is cool. (And note that I do not include my own work here, since it is collected in separate files: SPAM haiku by the SHAM (1-100), SPAM haiku by the SHAM (101-200), and SPAM haiku by the SHAM (201- ).)

Go backwards to The SHAM's Tasty Picks (Part 5).


5129.
Cold steel in a pig.
Clean up the blood, cook the flesh:
A pig in cold steel.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5144.
I stare, it stares back.
I long to know its feelings.
It demurs. Lunch, then.

--Drew Scott

5172.
I stepped from shadows
Into the microwave glow
And watched SPAM rotate

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5228.
SPAM, it's a short word
Takes a moment to say the
Monosyllable

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5311.
Locked in room with SPAM
Try to pick lock with can's key
It snaps, I am doomed

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5345.
A bulge in my jeans
"Is that SPAM in your pocket?"
I blush and say "Yes"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5365.
Simmer in saucepan
SPAM mixed with herbs and spices
Throw out meat, eat pan

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5445.
Sitting on toilet
I think of the SPAM long gone
And SPAM yet to come

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5488.
In the can of SPAM
A severed human finger
Pleasant texture change

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5548.
Lived only to speak
The language of the loved loaf
Each tongue but a slice

--Mark Hayes, mhayes@bbnplanet.com

5639.
In post-SPAM twilight
Chanting intestinal dirge
Summoning pink dung

--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com

5652.
SPAM comes creeping up
when you expect it the least
like, during a kiss.

--Eye

5681.
My name REALLY sucks:
"Hammered Virgin" anagram,
SPAM turned into HAM.

--Ingrid Verhamme, iverham@CRL.COM

5685.
I finished the SPAM
Last night, and today I feel
Pigs' eyes upon me.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5688.
Curious white dots
Are sprinkled like confetti
In a pork parade

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5689.
SPAM smells so sexy.
A little behind the ears,
And I can date cops.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5704.
Arching, popping fat.
Mom is sick of mooching son.
Breakfast is ready!

--Jay

5716.
She dressed a pink cube
to look like me, and ate it.
Now my shoulder hurts.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5759.
SPAM in my stomach,
Like a twenty-ton weight in
A light pastry shell.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5771.
In the thawing snow,
The can's blue corner peeps out
Like spring's first crocus.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5798.
A killer of pigs.
"A heart attack on a plate."
SPAM is sui-cide.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5802.
The beach picnic ends.
The sand blows, the naked SPAM
Puts on a tweed coat.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5818.
Veggie Hormel snack:
Spiced wheat germ, compressed in blocks--
But who will buy SPERM?

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5822.
A slimy mollusk
Lacking only a pink shell
Escargodawful

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5825.
Mother's rough finger
Stirs water into the Tang
And glazes the SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5879.
Trailer park wedding
A piñata, Schlitz, and SPAM
Vegas honeymoon

--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net

5931.
If meat is murder,
SPAM fried, in more ways than one,
is death warmed over.

--Dorian Mackenzie, KSEG, dorian@eagle969.com


Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.

Last modified: Thu Mar 20 16:59:20 GMT-0400 1997