SPAM Haiku 12301-12400

Move backwards to Numbers 12201-12300.


12301.
Load SPAM in chamber
Fire into the P.E.T.A. crowd
Eject hot blue can
--SgtGunny, Sgtgunny1@aol.com

12302.
One more family
Mourns at graveside; the large blue
Casket is lowered

--Mil-dot, blackbag@the-pentagon.com

12303.
Forty people dead
Not my fault ... Neighbor's SPAM can
Told me to do it

--Mil-dot, blackbag@the-pentagon.com

12304.
Car rolls at snail's pace
Automatic weapons fire
SPAM dies on sidewalk

--Mil-Dot, blackbag@the-pentagon.com

12305.
The lamp is shattered
A mother's justice passed down
SPAM sent to corner

--El Grego Magnifico, snipersnest@the-pentagon.com

12306.
FBI surrounds
Demands for hostages made
SPAM in unmarked cans

--El Grego Magnifico, snipersnest@the-pentagon.com

12307.
Pull key off the side
Throw blue can into the crowd
SPAM grenade explodes

--SgtGunny, Sgtgunny1@aol.com

12308.
Husband strays from home
Picks up SPAM on street corner
Vice cops make arrest

--SgtGunny, Sgtgunny1@aol.com

12309.
I got mail today
Unabomber sent me SPAM
Pork blew my arms off

--El Grego Magnifico, snipersnest@the-pentagon.com

12310.
SPAM's sex appeal...gone
Along with the Bloomer Girls--
What have we come to?

--Lance Reventny, Lance@cannet.com

12311.
Marinate your SPAM
In one hundred proof Vodka--
Drink the marinade.

--Stuporbowl Spunch, Fellows of the ovoid thing

12312.
SPAM IS history
The heroine of all meats--
Treat her with kindness

--Loretta Forgetta, Lfmst@ham.edu

12313.
The Maltese SPAM chunk
Holds the secrets of mankind...
Do you want the leg?

--Bogart D. Byrd

12314.
entire country eats--
pork? eternal SPAMnation
inevitable

--kevin, the mathineer, mathineer@primary.net

12315.
SPAM can filled with soil
Flower glistens with dew drops
Life from porcine death

--Amanda

12316.
spam is a spiced ham
spam spam the wonderful ham
a marvelous shape

--Anonymous

12317.
Is everyone SPAM
What is this SPAM all about
Was it made to rule

--ICEcreamMAN77, ICEcreamMAN77@webtv.net

12318.
I ceased eating SPAM
The same day I stopped drinking
Coincidence--NOT!

--Rick Hansen, rick.hansen@newsedge.com

12319.
I like SPAM a lot
I am writing this for school
DO you like it, thanks

--Joe, senno52@yahoo.com

12320.
Let the SPAM in pigs
be rested to find new SPAM
so the SPAM evolves.

--BIG DADDIEZ

12321.
Prepare your stomach.
Pink slice of dense mystery;
Heartburn awaits you.

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12322.
Knife cuts through sickly,
Texture startles my senses.
Put it in my mouth?

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12323.
Slimy, yet solid,
Disgustingly intriguing--
Glistening SPAM mass.

--teeny

12324.
Her deep mystery,
Mottled pinkness quivering
Still perplexes me

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12325.
Pigs die to make ham.
Do they live to make some SPAM?
It looks like live pig!

--squinky, squinky@cyberdude.com

12326.
Mother fed me SPAM;
I considered it abuse.
Now I love the stuff.

--adult, totoguam@usa.net

12327.
Noodle dish with SPAM:
Shovel SPAM chunks to the side,
Eat the cabbage bits.

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12328.
Can it be so bad?
Yes, it most certainly can.
Now I am barfing!

--Tim Landry

12329.
Monica gave Bill
gifts. But once he received SPAM.
Do you not love me?

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12330.
Infamous cigar.
After being used, it reeked
pungently like SPAM.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12331.
Bill said, "I did not
eat SPAM with that woman, Miss
Lewinsky. Yeah...right.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12332.
Senate Trial starts
to see if eating SPAM is
a misdemeanor.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12333.
There's talk of censure,
because SPAM-loving leftists
think SPAM is OK.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12334.
Dry cleaners wondered
if substance on blue dress was
SPAMicidal Gel.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12335.
Scientists still are
not sure whether DNA
was of Bill or swine.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12336.
Monica wanted
to eat Bill's meat, he said no.
Bill ate all the SPAM.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12337.
Kenneth Starr hates SPAM.
He was forced to eat it as
a young child...poor kid.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12338.
Bill and Monica
in the Oval Office--they
eat SPAM together.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12339.
Linda Tripp suggests
that Monica should tape their
private SPAM eatings.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12340.
I wrote a haiku
and this is the day I rue
'cuz I loathe haiku.

--REB

12341.
Perfectly packaged,
Pseudo-meat beckoning me
Coyly from the shelf.

--Leslie Smith, totoguam@usa.net

12342.
Clad in lovely blue,
Hints of the goodness inside
Until it's opened.

--Leslie Smith, totoguam@usa.net

12343.
Her tempting secret,
Mottled pinkness quivering,
Still perplexes me.

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12344.
Curvaceous, pale, smooth
She's desperately desired.
But not on MY plate.

--billybob, billybob@tumon.com

12345.
I don't like SPAM. I
Think it tastes really bad. This
Is one bad haiku.

--Anonymous

12346.
Saturday morning
Oblong slabs hit the pan....SSSSS
Kids wake up, sniff....MMMMM

--John Nicholson, nicholsoja@musc.edu

12347.
We rationalize:
That pink meat is surreal, but...
What would Porky think?

--John Nicholson, nicholsoja@musc.edu

12348.
Brave progenitors
of avant-garde Spam-ku form,
what were you thinking?

--John Nicholson, nicholsoja@musc.edu

12349.
Casino gambler?
SPAM roulette. Take one new can
and one old. Select!

--Dealu21

12350.
Crack the can open
Jell-O on top, glistening
Splats out of the can

--BFarringer@aol.com

12351.
Teletubbies romp
On fields of SPAM and daisies
Unfortunate fall

--BFarringer@aol.com

12352.
Les pièces de porc
Fusionnent en quelque
Chose de merveilleux

--Watt_U_Louquinette@titude.problem

12353.
Me: "Like your SPAMku!"
But she heard "Like to spank you!"
Now I'm a sex pest!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@tcam.com

12354.
Bill was aquitted.
Sends message to SPAM lovers
That SPAM is OK.

--CaptainObvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

12355.
Here in Africa,
Food's not the same. It's here, SPAM,
That I long for you.

--Al, almc@geocities.com

12356.
Do not build your tem-
ple from pink chunks of pork com-
pressed like fiberboard.

--Joy-Lily, fiberjoy@dnai.com

12357.
what's with these haiku?
do you people have a life?
top choice grade A meat!

--allison white

12358.
SPAM can be your friend
Pink sentinel in the night
Calling you homeward

--Jamie Combs, Ophelia539@aol.com

12359.
A Tower Of Cans
Your Village In Its Shadow
A Folder of Plans

--Anonymous

12360.
Chocolate sculpture.
Eaten by some prick. Now I
use SPAM for all art.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12361.
Originally
Se7en's "glutton" ate SPAM. This
was just too gritty.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12362.
SPAM Paranoia.
Suspect that my haiku are
unoriginal.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12363.
Yes, marijuana
can be smoked using a SPAM
tin and a biro.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12364.
I wanted to be
inspired. So I ate some SPAM.
Now I'm out of space.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12365.
It is kind of dumb.
To write haiku in English.
Syllables are wrong!

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12366.
Oh shit! I forgot
what I was going to write.
Short-term SPAMku loss.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12367.
Which of us is more
pathetic? Writer? Reader?
SPAMku depression.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12368.
Sometimes they're frequent.
Some months submissions dwindle.
SPAMku ebbs and flows.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12369.
hell in a blue can
a pink, slimy inferno
it is deviled SPAM

--Anonymous

12370.
SPA and M?
protection of animals?
an oxymoron

--Anonymous

12371.
spongy soft substance
just like a stomach lining
melts in my tummy

--Anonymous

12372.
the key, where's the key?
a tab is just not the same
intense nostalgia

--Anonymous

12373.
can on can on can
a blue wall goes up in air
it's The Tin Curtain

--Anonymous

12374.
I cut my finger
I open a can of SPAM
strangely similar

--Anonymous

12375.
I just sold my soul
A lifetime supply of SPAM
Hormelian deal

--Anonymous

12376.
SPAM as a weapon
bounces easily off foe
should have left in can

--Anonymous

12377.
SPAM tokoroten
Japanese monks flee in fright
meat noodles of death

--Anonymous

12378.
Rita Hayworth croons
Gilda making her man squirm
Put the blame on Spame

--Anonymous

12379.
Eerie silence falls.
Okay it's not that eerie.
I merely eat SPAM.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12380.
The key is pull-ed.
Nostrils flare in unison
Foreplay in a tin.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12381.
Freud was not correct.
Human motivation is:
Thantos. Eros. SPAM.

--Alex, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

12382.
SPAM with my breakfast;
SPAM with my lunch and dinner;
SPAM in my nightmares.

--SBookner

12383.
Trailer park sunset
My unwashed bowling shirt glows
A familiar pink

--Bill Turner, turnerwm@geocities.com

12384.
Green Midget Café:
The Management regret that
SPAM is off--SORRY!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@tcam.com

12385.
Used to eat it lots
Now I'm gainfully employed
Don't eat it no more

--Tim Sanner, sanner_t@prodigy.net

12386.
SPAMBURGER on grill?
You've got to be kidding me
Let's cook some real meat

--Tim Sanner, sanner_t@prodigy.net

12387.
After many moons
SPAMku urge takes hold again
I am back to work

--Sandra Seaman

12388.
SPAM beckons to me,
Calling its dirty verse in
Julie Andrews' voice.

--Sandra Seaman

12389.
Every bite I take
spells out my desire: SPAM!! Why
eat Alphaghetti?

--Sandra Seaman

12390.
Finished for the night,
off to sleep and have sweet dreams,
sweetest dreams of SPAM.

--Sandra Seaman

12391.
Oh yes, she tempts me
Devil with a blue dress on
SPAM comes in a can?

--HAiku Master, etrumpet1@aol.com

12392.
a shiny blue can
there's a strange, pale, sticky gel
lunch today is SPAM

--Dennis , windigrwin@aol.com

12393.
Odor reaches nose
And chunks of animal fat
SPAM in my e-mail

--Digger, windigrwin@aol.com

12394.
Aliens invade!
Our tanks fire shells filled with SPAM,
Aliens repelled!

--Jeffery Scharn, ironbar@jps.net

12395.
What sort of product
could evoke such poetry?
I've never had it.

--badtoad-san, badtoad@asu.edu

12396.
Tinsel Town premiere:
Porky on a Hot Tin Roof.
Canned, but panned. Alas.

--Gollum, ndu75@airmail.net

12397.
SPAM is my nectar.
Haiku flows from my fingers.
I am immortal.

--Anonymous

12398.
SPAMBURGER! SPAM! ...Add
a little SPAM... Add a lot
of taste...but lose friends.

--Anonymous

12399.
Sitting on toilet
After obligatory
SPAM meal. Is this love?

--Anonymous

12400.
I realy love SPAM,
The only thing is, even
My dog won't eat SPAM.

--Jon Krause, Krause27@earthlink.net


Move forwards to Numbers 12401-12500.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.