SPAM Haiku 17901-18000

Move backwards to Numbers 17801-17900.

17901.
The pink biomass:
Many creatures become one.
Gaia in a can.

--Junkyard God

17902.
Flying chunks of SPAM
hit the wall with greasy "splats!"
Children ask for more.

--Junkyard God

17903.
Bush studied Haiku.
But, if he was really smart,
he would study SPAM.

--Junkyard God

17904.
Church runs out of bread.
"How 'bout SPAM for communion?"
What would Jesus do?

--Junkyard God

17905.
Porn's not a problem.
Boss checks on my web surfing.
SPAM-ku's a problem.

--Junkyard God

17906.
My passion's for SPAM.
But, I bring paté to work
for appearences.

--Junkyard God

17907.
I serve a fine SPAM.
She looks at me with horror.
Unrequited Love.

--Junkyard God

17908.
If meat inspectors
let slip through a rat or two
could you really tell?

--Junkyard God

17909.
They say "A mind is
a terrible thing to waste."
Adds to the flavor.

--Junkyard God

17910.
Jim is SPAM deprived
Mom washes his special shirts
SPAM gelatin stains

--Emily Van Dorfen

17911.
Hmmm...Chandra Levy...
No...no...no...no...no...no...NO!
I just won't go there.

--Junkyard God

17912.
Kids scream, so hungry
Velveeta, Saltines, Twinkies
SPAM in my trailer

--Biff

17913.
Soft and pink inside
Perfection in a blue box
But not for eating

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17914.
Peeling off the lid
Pseudo-pork stares back at me
You are what you eat

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17915.
My friends liked it fried
Never a meal without it
They are all dead now

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17916.
Having now begun
Eating and writing of SPAM
I cannot resist

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17917.
In pink padded rooms
Madmen cry out day and night
"We need one more bite!"

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17918.
O man cannot live
Without this wonderful meat
But what is it for?

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17919.
Where does it come from?
Out of can and into mouth.
But where does it go?

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17920.
Dampness fills my eyes
Ground pig fills the can with key
Can I have more please?

--Phil Webb, pmwebb@gte.net

17921.
Pink thing licks pink thing;
A tongue caresses fresh SPAM.
Yin and yang are one.

--Karellen, karellen@whereyoucantfindme.com

17922.
Many years from now
They will dig up the blue tins
And wonder of us.

--Karellen, karellen@whereyoucantfindme.com

17923.
Blue Light Special Sale!
SPAM--six cans for three dollars!
I fill six bascarts!

--Karellen, karellen@whereyoucantfindme.com

17924.
Faith-based charities:
Money to give the homeless
SPAM with their sermon.

--Milford Pigboy

17925.
Ancient Egyptian
arts of mummification
used in SPAM-making.

--Milford Pigboy

17926.
Bland, tasteless lunch loaf;
empty calories, junk food,
the Twinkies of meat.

--Milford Pigboy

17927.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM and eggs
eggs and SPAM and eggs, eggs, SPAM
but I dont like SPAM!

--Dan the P man, Orion@Oberlin.net

17928.
SPAM is good, good SPAM
precooked with pork, beef, and corn
with some juice, sounds good.

--Dan the P man, Orion@Oberlin.net

17929.
solidified meat
cubic mass inedible
though that haunts my dreams

--Sarah Plummer, feastoftacky@hotmail.com

17930.
camp delicacy
a black charred lump of malice
swallowed by the fire

--Sarah Plummer, feastoftacky@hotmail.com

17931.
In prison I eat
literally, three squares a
day--all tins of SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17932.
Does SPAM appeal to
the young? I like it--its blue
can matches my hair.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17933.
What stands between me
and crushing hunger is this
key and tin of SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17934.
SPAM is like pussy
some of it's pink, some is brown
Always check top date!

--SPAMBY

17935.
Bush "Solomonic
compromise": research on stem
cells derived from SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

17936.
A can of SPAM's stuck.
So what's the big deal, you say?
It's stuck up my nose...

--Infinite Monkey, infinite_mokey@hotmail.com

17937.
It's scorned by many
Cheap extruded meat in cans
All the more for me

--screaming fist

17938.
A SPAM can opened
White jelly coats the meat block
Born to be eaten

--screaming fist

17939.
This wall of SPAM cans
What is more reassuring
Than the long shelf life?

--screaming fist

17940.
Leaving its tin suit
The moist sound of filled vacuum
Then the meat falls down

--screaming fist

17941.
"Will you have some SPAM?"
(I'd rather swallow ground glass.)
"That would be lovely."

--Nyr Indictor

17942.
"Is something wrong, dear?
You haven't eaten your SPAM..."
There is no reply.

--Nyr Indictor

17943.
Chopped-up detective,
In a tin can, en gelée,
Got it? It's SPAM Spade.

--Nyr Indictor

17944.
Unwanted e-mail--
So like the eponymous
Unwanted tinned meat.

--Nyr Indictor

17945.
I offered her SPAM.
"We must stop meeting like this,"
She said, and dumped me.

--Nyr Indictor

17946.
I wonder: is the
Latin word for SPAM, masc. or
Fem., or is it neut.?

--Nyr Indictor

17947.
I dreamed of being
Chased by millions of rolling
Tins in a SPAMpede.

--Nyr Indictor

17948.
Diversifying,
Hormel execs consider
Sprimp, spalmon, spobster.

--Nyr Indictor

17949.
Hormel caves in to
Vegetarianism:
Markets spuccotash.

--Nyr Indictor

17950.
Three-star restaurant--
A haughty sommelier, no
SPAMish spoken here.

--Nyr Indictor

17951.
"Cogito ergo
Spum" is the Latin for "I
think therefore I spam."

--Nyr Indictor

17952.
"I think therefore I
Spam"--or as the French would say,
"Je pense donc je spuis."

--Nyr Indictor

17953.
Lily of S.I.
Teaches me of spirit ways
SPAM would taste better

--Anonymous

17954.
SPAM is like pussy
If it isn't soft and pink
You shouldn't eat it

--Bob Dole

17955.
I loved a pig once.
She was canned. Better to have
loved and lost? Perhaps.

--J Schweig

17956.
the boys at FINN bar
like to eat SPAM and knish
soak up beer and smokes

--greenmonster, revolut11@aol.com

17957.
Have a dead pet that
you sent out for cremation?
It didn't get there.

--Coco Pebbles

17958.
SPAM, disgusting meat
It has a taste that ain't sweet
It's not a nice treat

--Anonymous

17959.
SPAM is like a man
Smells bad, gets on your nerves, cold
Better without both

--Meagan Paris

17960.
Why don't you love SPAM?
Certainly must be lonely
It's constantly teased

--Becky Brondel, brondelb@hotmail.com

17961.
SPAM is lucky, yes
It will never be chomped; SPAM
is only to watch

--Becky Brondel, brondelb@hotmail.com

17962.
maybe it's cat food
it looks as hard as a rock
see, no one likes SPAM

--Anonymous

17963.
SPAM chunks, cutting board.
One hits the floor with a splat!
Fear. Cat runs away.

--Chris Hackworth, n8phu@earthlink.net

17964.
SPAM on my toothpick
SPAM on my napkin, it's great!
It's not for me though

--cody underwood

17965.
The SPAM in my hand
is used to stop the hunger
of Third World nations.

--Davey Duckworth, duck_man6@hotmail.com

17966.
Toothpick hovering
Juices dripping from the slop
More SPAM anyone?

--Jesse Courtney, Buckhunter25@hotmail.com

17967.
The screech of a can
The horrid stench of cat food
Lingers in my mouth

--Jesse Courtney, Buckhunter25@hotmail.com

17968.
The smell of dog food.
The sound of plop on the dish.
Can you eat the meat?

--Christi Johnson, the_wall_52_2003@hotmail.com

17969.
You see the faces.
As they watch you down the meat.
While your face turns green!

--Christi Johnson, the_wall_52_2003@hotmail.com

17970.
I will not eat SPAM
No I won't because I'll choke
The smell is enough

--Jessikah Mott, jessikah_m@hotmail.com

17971.
It looks like cat food
I can't belive they ate that
What is wrong with them?

--Jessikah Mott, jessikah_m@hotmail.com

17972.
Anyone for SPAM?
Grab a knife and dive right in.
Don't wait it's so great.

--Mystikal_Mind_420, jameskohlbeck@hotmail.com

17973.
FÎñGër LÎÇkèn gÒÖD...
Ít ïS Ã dêAd HÔrsE Óf cÕur§E...
PLôpÎÑ ÔUt ÐÅ Càñ...

--Ian Hefley, Ian_hefley@msn.com

17974.
Tuna, ham, dog food
This is so what SPAM smells like
Do you dare to try?

--Tisha Morris, morristisha@hotmail.com

17975.
The smell of horse meat
that reeks underneath your nose
for weeks at a time.

--mark goff

17976.
Slimy stinky sick
Overdose of SPAM deadly
A new found friend, Tums

--mark goff

17977.
Budget surplus shrinks
Like SPAM Lite in hot fry pan
Bush economics

--Milford Pigboy

17978.
i've seen the forecast
and the forecaster reckoned
dull with SPAM patches

--64, -

17979.
Marxist-Leninist
classless worker's paradise
never featured SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

17980.
Immortal monkeys
typing could pen Shakespeare's works
--or SPAMku--chilling.

--Tom Lilly

17981.
Pen no SPAMagrams.
These gross spasmodic monkeys
may yet learn to read.

--Tom Lilly

17982.
Will no one stop the
swell and swill you SPAMchive still?
The shit drifts on top.

--Tom Lilly

17983.
I hate your archive.
Your SPAMku makes life hateful.
I am not grateful.

--Tom Lilly

17984.
Count out syllables,
inveterate SPAM-mates! I
await your demise.

--Tom Lilly

17985.
Departing appeased,
I add: can your archive's sleaze
Cure this drab disease.

--Tom Lilly

17986.
Pass along that SPAM
It complements sewage soup
As a toxic treat

--Wild T.

17987.
SPAM makers go out
And club little baby seals
It's not just for fur

--Wild T.

17988.
Loose on the freeway
Broken bones and cartilage
Not road kill but SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17989.
Poor marks at swine school
Not quite the other white meat
Never pork chops, SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17990.
Inner beast unleashed
Stalk and hunt my quarry, I...
I am SPAMnivore

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17991.
The blue face of death
Stuck in the esophagus
Misdirected SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17992.
Decades of shelf life
What will outlive the cockroach?
Quite possibly, SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17993.
Strange yearning for SPAM
Craving pinkness, engorging
Until I vomit

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17994.
Stern, resilient slab
Dichotomy-rainbow sheen,
just like an oil spill!

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17995.
A Halloween hint:
What, running out of apples--
Try bobbing for SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17996.
Canned in year ‘60
A teenager in SPAM years
Awkward and greasy

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17997.
The new age pilgrims
Exacto knife; Thirty cans
Make a SPAM turkey

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17998.
Never popular
My prom date made by Hormel
Boneless and sticky

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

17999.
Twelve SPAM cans remain
Horses first, then family
The Donner Party

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com

18000.
Hard cobblestone lanes
Weary travelers…Rejoice!!
The streets paved with SPAM

--Rick Morgan, rm85@hotmail.com