SPAM Haiku 12101-12200

Move backwards to Numbers 12001-12100.


12101.
Clintonized pink meat:
Tender, loving, pleasuring--
Hillary take me!
--Ovah D. Hill

12102.
I love Hillary
More than I love Hormel SPAM--
Do you think I'm odd?

--Hilary Kisset, Legpit@crotch.com

12103.
Oh no, Mr. Bill,
Hillary dickeried naught--
But the pink SPAM clam.

--Anonymous

12104.
Your seester's bloomers
Lumpy and fill with SPAM churd--
Nice topography.

--Hector Carajo, Ponce

12105.
Canned perspiration
Of the swine variety--
Corkscrewed pink...I think.

--Hector Carajo, Ponce PR

12106.
On the old farmstead
Pigs root the maggoted heap--
As they turn to SPAM.

--O McDonald

12107.
Canned ham looks at SPAM
Laughing until its sides split--
Monica lunch meat.

--Evan Steven, evan@trump.net

12108.
SPAM's not for woosies;
SPAM is Archie Bunker food--
For the working man.

--Edie Bunker

12109.
Monica eats SPAM
Coated with Bill's love syrup--
Buddy the dog's next.

--Al Gloss

12110.
SPAM under pop top
Or are they pubic fuzzies
Clarence Thomas knows

--Howie Survived, no1nos

12111.
Who'd sign their true name
To ridiculous SPAMku?
No one but the kings.

--Elvis, Edward and Clinton, and not-so-wise-guys

12112.
Defective canned shoat
Called Pink Procrastination--
Eat it tomorrow.

--Hilarity Strapon, jock@kentnot.com

12113.
Salty? Yes! Fat? Yes!
Nourishing and good tasting? No!
Hmmm....two out of three.

--Yogi Bearer

12114.
SPAM alternative
Asian dish "Sum Yung/Honey"
Do not use chopsticks

--Howie Lovett, How2gaun.edu

12115.
Spammy the Pig's dead
Took three in the hat--kaput!
Pass the SPAMMY please

--Dead Pig Sangwich, Call Mumbles Menino Boston, Ma.

12116.
Sows farrow piglets
To be smashed into SPAM mush--
Wheee! All the way home?

--Petunia's Brood, Petunia@fatnet.com

12117.
Three little piggies--
Eenie, meenie, minie, thwarp!
Grist for the SPAM can.

--I.B. DeWolfe, Huffnpuff@linusnup.org

12118.
Surfing the net for
Turgid verse about canned meat.
Found the pork Green Room.

--Robert Ryu, r-ryu@nwu.edu

12119.
Comeré SPAMón
Dices que no es bueno.
¡Él tiene sabor!

--Mike Cherepko, cherepko@prodigy.net

12120.
Te compré SPAMón.
Tú vas a comerlo y
Vas a amarlo.

--Mike Cherepko, cherepko@prodigy.net

12121.
Ted "Splash!" Kennedy,
Semen stains on his necktie--
No witnesses please.

--John Appleworthy, johnny@onthe spot.com

12122.
SPAM I love thee true
Let me honey ham moon you--
How's this me lovely.....( ! ) ?

--Rev. Moon, honeyhamm@a&p.com

12123.
Hey paw, maw cooked SPAM.
Phrrrrrt! Was the old man's reply--
Heading for the hills.

--Zebediah Walton, WV or bust!

12124.
Barnicle is back.
He claims to be glad and flawed--
Should be bad and flogged.

--Barnicled Agin

12125.
Pig does final dance:
Iron skillet curls black smoke.
French mustard, white bread.

--Nathan Henderson, nah1@oag.state.tx.us

12126.
Grand conspiracy:
SPAM "cleanses" the U.S. poor--
The right wing again.

--Doojie Dust

12127.
SPAM smells like tired feet,
Looks like elephantine snot--
But it tastes like LOVE.

--Lew Insky

12128.
SPAM bites donkey, Dick.
Nixon knew that when alive--
If he ever was.

--Mon Ica

12129.
Deep in SPAM's pink womb
Issue was never good taste--
Not in Arkansas.

--Geo Graphy, His Story

12130.
There's no beginning
And the end is not in sight--
The pain of SPAMku.

--Hiawatha Goldstein

12131.
Jolly old England
Should be the home of pink SPAM--
It just smells that way.

--Texaz Kowboy, Keniduit@once.net

12132.
SPAM sure is awful
But it's still legitimate--
Unlike Bubba Bill.

--Texaz Kowboy, Keniduit@once.net

12133.
Ate SPAM at Joe's Grill
Stymied my body functions
And Clintoned my stool

--SPAMerican Spam Pie

12134.
Flagons of SPAM ick.
Sit on the bar awaiting
The Apocalypse.

--SPAMerican SPAM Pie

12135.
Children of the SPAM
Walk ye the straight and narrow--
Supermarket aisles.

--St Opandshop, igaa&p@mall.com

12136.
Following your nose
Will never lead you to SPAM
Unless you're a dog.

--Lassie Goaweigh, sniffsniff@rear.tail

12137.
this spam got mad gas
smelly nasty horrible
is he clean steven?

--guppy 66 dysprosium

12138.
Heads, shoulders, knees, toes
Tender morsels, off the bone
How I love SPAM so!

--Obernoinkman

12139.
Addictions of mine.
Afrin, nicotine, and Spam
road to destruction.

--David Miller, dmmiller@onramp.net

12140.
Hot pink in cool blue.
Check can: "Best-used-by" label
needs four digit year.

--Michael Kenniston, michael.kenniston@alum.wpi.edu

12141.
Cold, blustery day
Starvation drives me to it
Key breaks, my tears freeze

--Drew W. Saunders, Drew.Saunders@Stanford.EDU

12142.
Soft cherry blossom
Opens slowly, fragrantly
Like a fresh blue can

--Drew W. Saunders, Drew.Saunders@Stanford.EDU

12143.
Blazing, bright noon sun
Kitchen hot, can on asphalt,
Cooks in its juices

--Drew W. Saunders, Drew.Saunders@Stanford.EDU

12144.
Crisp air, falling leaves
Celebrate harvest bounty
Cheaper by the case!

--Drew W. Saunders, Drew.Saunders@Stanford.EDU

12145.
Lingering pinkness,
Amnesia improves SPAM--
What was I saying?

--Ronald Reagan

12146.
Bill Clinton eats it.
It's in none of the food groups--
Boycott Hormel SPAM.

--Capt. SPAMerica, Yes he does, Yes he does...

12147.
Put SPAM in your shorts.
Gotta keep your pork warm guys--
Improves SPAM's flavor.

--Moni Calewinsky, hudj@primenet.com

12148.
Wingless butterflies
Crawl around in my colon
Like pesky gerbils.

--After Eating Spam

12149.
Blinking dollar signs:
Make money fast and get rich!
Oh. You mean the meat.

--Sunny, sunnyd@efn.org

12150.
SPAM for supper dear.
I'll be a little late sweets--
Yah, like next week late.

--Wild Bill Clinton, He 8 1 2!

12151.
For your penance son
You must eat SPAM thrice daily--
Without laying farts.

--Mission Implausable, Farther North

12152.
Nightmare of Basho
On stage with a martini
Reciting SPAM-ku

--teddy1, teddy1@bellatlantic.net

12153.
Solidified farts
Gathered in Taco Bell johns
Sprayed pink and called SPAM

--Ron Brown, Fl. Cars

12154.
Feebs and gimpos all
Support the Great SPAM Movement
While we support them.

--The GSM

12155.
Refill Glade plug-ins
With little pieces of SPAM--
Repels roaches too.

--Lafrack/Iraq

12156.
Janie hates us but
Henry's kinda Fonda SPAM--
I'm Fonda SPAM too.

--Ovah Dere

12157.
Twisted sister's peeps
Can sure screw up a good thing:
SPAM contortionists.

--Chickie Choaka, chickie@haredu.com

12158.
Shaded from the sun
Koi rejoice at their SPAM feed
Then float belly up.

--Golden Pearl

12159.
The Asian market
Here in Frisco sells no SPAM.
I'm not that hungry.

--Anonymous, Anonymous

12160.
My dear sweet Mom used
To bake SPAM PizzaBurgers;
They were SOOOO disgusting!

--Phil, pmedes@mninter.net

12161.
Mom's SPAM casserole
Steaming heap of canned lovin'
What the hell was that?

--Dennis Spam Hotdish

12162.
I once had a dream
That I was whacking off on
A mountain of SPAM.

--Nakedguy

12163.
SPAM recollections
"Disremembered" by your mind?
Though my ulcers SCREAM!

--Pay the Bill Clinton, You're overdue!

12164.
Humping small field mice
Out in the dew covered field--
By rusty SPAM cans.

--Rusty Spamcans, http://www.pathcom.com/~smclean/cs.htm

12165.
In their twilight years
SPAMkuers play ghetto golf--
SPAM exacts revenge.

--Thomanne Jerry, tjerry@har.edu

12166.
Tom Lilly's grown fat,
His head can no longer hat--
SPAMku's seen to that.

--Tom's SPAMku Bud, He's really a Spamku Lover

12167.
There is no justice
We are all slaves unaware
There is only SPAM

--Queen of Delete

12168.
Fish don't drink water
Russian blue boars don't eat SPAM
Though they lick SPAM cans

--Queen of Delete

12169.
And on Labor Day
Bubba God created SPAM--
The working man's steak.

--Carl Daddy-o Porter, Burlington Ma.

12170.
But nothing ate SPAM
Adam sniffed it, said no way
Bubba God was sad

--Carl Daddy-o Porter #2, Burlington Ma.

12171.
Bubba God angered
Made woman out of that SPAM
Now Adam ate it

--Carl Daddy-o Porter #3, Burlington Ma.

12172.
Bumrushed from Eden
Unable to recall why
We now write SPAMku

--Carl Daddy-o Porter #4, Burlington Ma.

12173.
The only Truth is:
We are all doomed to suffer
When we eat of SPAM.

--Carl Daddy-o Porter #5, Burlington Ma.

12174.
Pay-Per-View is spam!
Tweety Bird with attitude--
Tyson...........wins again

--Boycott Pay Per View, $50.00 Spammers

12175.
Life on Earth over.
Spampocalypse at the door--
Screaming LET ME OUT!

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

12176.
professor backwards,
your contraindications...
such a sweet hernia!

--Anonymous

12177.
An old can of SPAM
A curious frog jumps in
The sound of clatter

--Ted Jacobs, teddy1@bellatlantic.net

12178.
Although you cause gas
Not-so-bright pink I LOVE YOU
My Valentine SPAM

--GSM, From the bowels of my, unh! heart

12179.
Down here in Jaw-ja
SPAM gives ladies "The Vapors"--
but "The Fumes" get me.

--Jaw-gia Peach Pit, Atlanta's fulla willin' hunnies

12180.
Bambi SPAM be fine
Fawndle and caress your deer--
Save your bucks and doe

--Wretcher Fetcher, Big Woods Country Recipes

12181.
SPAM favors the rich
But it flavors the needy--
It pounds the greedy.

--Fat IS Beautiful, So eat more SPAM girls!

12182.
Have you tried "NEW" SPAM?
The Trial Of The Century!
The jury's still "out"

--If it makes you %$#@!, You must acquit!

12183.
Salt Pork Anus Meat
The gelatin is salty
Rennet euphemism

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12184.
Sweet Pink Mucilage
My mind revolts in horror
My God! I crave more

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12185.
Against my own will
I read the label and then
Throw the rest away

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12186.
Pink slice on wheat bread
Pork explosion in my mouth
Should it be crunchy?

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12187.
Stomach to brain: LURCH!
It's a crime against nature
Feed it to my cat

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12188.
Sizzling in the Pam
White bread with mayo waiting
SPAM dinner for one

--Anonymous

12189.
Ravenous felines
Normally eat anything
Ignore false pink meat

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12190.
Salty pseudoflesh
Produced in an abattoir
Inject pink color

--David E. Sallis, dsallis@atinc.com

12191.
The Hiss of a Can
A Pink Meat Oxydizing
But it still tastes good

--Cyrus Buffum

12192.
It's pink and perfect
Used to run around and squeal
Pink Panther or SPAM?

--rbuffum@capecod.com

12193.
Overpowering
Stuck in my craw like green bile
The taste of SPAMku

--ohsaB, No air mail please

12194.
See SPAM cans shining
In the moonlight how they drip--
No hole in one here.

--Maj. D. Fecks

12195.
Grizzled canned pig arse
The three legged pigs suffer--
For the love of SPAM

--Puddingtaint, Anonymous

12196.
Held by two fingers
Resilient, soft... release
Bounces down stairwell

--Anonymous

12197.
Years of ingestion
Fat chunk in veins dislodges
Soon a heart attack

--Anonymous

12198.
Bad practical joke
Ooze from can smoothered on ground
Men slip on tile floor

--Anonymous

12199.
Four yellow letters
On blue tin, slab of SPAM pic
Livid pink contrast

--Anonymous

12200.
very little moon
watches over the black sky
the night has begun

--tom schwab, bulzfrk91@AOL.COM


Move forwards to Numbers 12201-12300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.