SPAM Haiku 16001-16100

Move backwards to Numbers 15901-16000.

16001.
Pasteurized processed
pig product takes us ever
farther from Nature.

--Milford Pigboy

16002.
Each blue can contains
blended particles from a
porcine multitude.

--Milford Pigboy

16003.
SPAM, the jelled Heaven
Fried, boiled, or raw, it's all good
It needs ketchup though

--John Mitterer, washc150@yahoo.com

16004.
"Bubba surf-and-turf":
can opener, mayonnaise,
tuna fish and SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16005.
Can without corners
Once opened the pink inside
Slips out fetuslike

--IG, igman@gci.net

16006.
Glistening wetness
SPAM anticipates the pan
Awaits the palate

--IG, igman@gci.net

16007.
Ate SPAM yesterday
between bread, dipped in egg, fried.
Simply wonderful.

--Ray Sinclair

16008.
My vote will go to
candidate who will use SPAM
strategic reserves.

--Milford Pigboy

16009.
SPAM tastes so nasty
I don't know why people eat
Quasi-meat products

--BPahk

16010.
Three-in-one pig tool:
It pulls tusks, clips tails, castrates.
The swineherd's best friend.

--Milford Pigboy

16011.
I salivate now
Lusting for the porky tripe.
Where is the Beano?

--Sheri Mac, mrmac@uswest.net

16012.
If SPAM were alive
It would grow and become mad
It would kill us all

--Davey, maddhatter@disinfo.net

16013.
This desperate heat
Hot lips long for a cool meal
Weber's. French's. SPAM.

--Laurie, LazyL@wyoming.com

16014.
She licked my asshole.
Her tongue inside my anus.
She tasted the SPAM.

--Joe Peter Napoleon

16015.
I argued in vain.
No one listened to reason.
"SPAM," they said, "on white."

--Fozzie

16016.
I have not had SPAM
Since I was just ten years old
My mommy likes me

--Matt, mattth@hotmail.com

16017.
Squarish pink pigloaf
Rubbery quivering mush
Do your snouts still smell

--IG, igman@gci.net

16018.
Camera pans loaf
The light sparkling on lipid
Arteries tremble

--IG, igman@gci.net

16019.
Each SPAM particle
came from a living being
that lived life of woe.

--Milford Pigboy

16020.
Abattoir-bound hogs
live in stink and do not get
to choose their pen-mates.

--Milford Pigboy

16021.
I write the email
In it my thoughts run like SPAM
I am unemployed

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16022.
I read the email
I laugh but never out loud
I am on welfare

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16023.
I mold in my chair
My mind turning to gray SPAM
No Surfing! They say.....

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16024.
GravyDay today
Because that's the SPAMHead way
We am here to stay

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16025.
Our Friday SPAMKu
Along with Big Phil "My View"
Makes us want to spew

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16026.
My Beau Coup SPAMKu
What BoeKu CanDo 4U
Oh! To do BoeKu

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16027.
Debbie esteemed peer
Can I buy you a cold beer?
Executive SPAM.....

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16028.
Useless no-clang ginch
building their empires of SPAM
complicates my float.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16029.
Government contracts.
Taxpayers fund daily SPAM.
One must love this place!!

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16030.
Status meeting held,
Opened a big can of worms.
SPAM is tastier.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16031.
SPAM kills one quickly.
Meetings too long, too much yak:
Death by consensus.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16032.
Endless chattering,
They love to hear themselves talk.
SPAM, please take me now.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16033.
ShameFilled, NoPride now.
"Oh Please, I'll take anything."
Take SPAM up wazoo.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16034.
On my knees, neck out.
I seek Gravy, I find none.
Bludgeoned by SPAMStick.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16035.
Pound pavement, doors slam.
"Is there no mercy this day??"
SPAM consoles me now.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16036.
Spasms of SPAM leak
From my quivering keyboard
Ejaculation

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16037.
Can anyone take
SPAM so long and so turgid
I am choking now

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16038.
The dueling SPAM fired
Across the electric chasm
Duck or be stricken

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16039.
Volleys of pink SPAM
Soiling my pristine mind space
I have sinned so much

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16040.
A deluge of pink
A flood of quivering SPAM
All must kneel in shame

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16041.
My guilt is expunged
I no longer sin in SPAM
The cord is pulled out

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16042.
Lightspeed SPAM regurge
Zen Jedi Master of SPAM
I kneel at your feet

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16043.
All watch the gory
Spectacle of decadence
Men of age SPAM'ing

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16044.
Even as we SPAM
Those about gasp, cry with rage:
What SPAM, hath thou wrought????

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16045.
I am a SPAM Man
Better than a Boneyard Man
With pay I can't stand

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16046.
Gunfire, SPAM and You
A long night to remember
Why is my face glazed?

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16047.
Condoms and bullets
Love and hate mixed together
Which is SPAM? Who knows?

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16048.
Three things are certain:
Your death, taxes, and lost SPAM.
Guess which has occurred.

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16049.
Serious error:
All shortcuts have disappeared.
SPAM. Mind. Both are blank.

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16050.
Pigskins are in SPAM
Footballs are made with Pigskins
Porky Superbowl

--jeff n.

16051.
Five syllables are
insufficient to explain,
the vileness to tell.

--Carl, Just_Another_Loser@The_Boneyard.com

16052.
Other SPAM eaters
will meet death; they also will
have clogged arteries!

--Milford Pigboy

16053.
A Republican
food: tastes like s__t, makes you fat,
soon causes your death.

--Milford Pigboy

16054.
Issue our demands:
Cafeteria crew is
toast if you serve SPAM!!

--Milford Pigboy

16055.
snow white flakes in air
autumn leaves bow deep with dew
slowly melts the SPAM

--Geo-san, zorpack@aol.com

16056.
the boat, the rudder
pressured by the water's flow
while SPAM floats away

--Geo-san, zorpack@aol.com

16057.
unwanted email
minced flesh, gristle, and rectums
modern idiocy

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16058.
repulsive pink dish
it's enough to turn a man
vegetarian

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16059.
the forbidden can
Adam and Eve betrayed God
for a taste of SPAM

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16060.
SPAM's translucent goo
begins to flow around and
encapsulate us.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16061.
GravyBudget: SPAM!!!
None for me!! I walk the halls
with ladle in hand.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16062.
SPAM will provide one
with a more meaningful life
than this non-career.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16063.
What makes better SPAM??
Fat squealing pigs or fat dumb
boneyard employees??

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16064.
Wallow in Gravy!!!
New structural program is
SPAM vibration tests.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16065.
Structural load path
for SPAM is so different
from GI "load" path.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16066.
Small pig toes and legs
may not hold SPAM together
at 3G vibe loads.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16067.
SPAM vibe testing is
not the only place where max
jiggle can be found.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16068.
James Bond martini??
SPAM on the vibe table is
shaken, but not stirred.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16069.
Turn the gain way up.
You hear the tortured SPAM squeal.
SPAM hell, get Ear Plugs.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16070.
Shear planes are yielding!!
SPAM interstitial cracks seen......
Quick, safety glasses!!

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16071.
3-axis table.
RMS shaking of SPAM
worse than killing floor.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16072.
No one believes SPAM:
forty-five degree shear plane:
Homogeneous!!!!

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16073.
The wiggling begins,
We all witness the horror:
we see SPAM D.T.s.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16074.
Leftover bits from
whirling knives; as sawdust is
to particle board.

--Milford Pigboy

16075.
How kosher! SPAM! SPAM!
Mazeltov, Mazeltov. Ha.
What a Jewish food.

--Noe Jose

16076.
This delicacy..
Known as SPAM. Fits in my hand.
I worship you, SPAM!

--Noe Jose

16077.
Spelled backwards, SPAM is...
MAPS! If you are dyslexic,
You might think it's pams.

--Noe Jose

16078.
SPAM in its nature
Is something quite attractive.
Eat it quick, or else!

--Anonymous

16079.
I love SPAM. Sure, sure.
From my ram to my ham... Wow.
I really love SPAM.

--Noe Jose

16080.
You who have desires
beyond your control... well, well...
Eat SPAM or die, punk.

--Anonymous

16081.
SPAMalicious, dude.
You made my day, SPAM maker.
This Bud's for you. SPAM!

--Noe Jose

16082.
my life is SPAM shit
oozing from a halibut
johnny, pass the salt

--mad as hell

16083.
blue light flashing bright
SPAM against the wall, spread 'em
ten to twenty, damn

--mad as hell

16084.
A gross jellied mass
it stares at me from the pan
what the hell is it?

--sleepinggypsy99@aol.com

16085.
A Milford Pigboy
and a Rose Cain should get off
on a can of SPAM

--mad as hell

16086.
eat well, my children
can you hear the oinking pigs?
blue tin hell awaits us

--Anonymous

16087.
SPAM, the other brown
meat, mixed with spice and ham, yum
I want more SPAM, man!

--QHS Theatre Guild

16088.
Slaughterhouse workers
like ghouls, disassemble pigs
for treasures within.

--Milfrod Pigboy

16089.
SPAM sandwich makes guts
turn like gas bubble from depths
of a pig lagoon.

--Milford Pigboy

16090.
Do not hesitate
SPAM resurfaces quickly
Run to the toilet

--jeff n.

16091.
Milosevic: Run
and hide! Better stock bunker
with SPAM and TP!

--Milford Pigboy

16092.
Jellied bits of pork
What offal could be more foul?
Can you say head cheese?

--T. Potvin

16093.
Until some genius
invents a new paperweight,
I shall use my SPAM.

--Fozzie

16094.
I throw SPAM on the
kitchen floor and watch my kids
devour it like dogs.

--Fozzie

16095.
I throw SPAM in the
pig trough and chortle. Hungry
pigs have no morals.

--Fozzie

16096.
I throw SPAM in the
green pond and watch it slowly
sink, then disappear.

--Fozzie

16097.
My dog went missing.
I called his name and whistled,
heard the SPAM whimper.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16098.
In the school lunch room,
SPAM does not trade very well.
Pass the catsup please.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16099.
Porky to Daffy:
I lost my butt today, pal.
It's in the can, man.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16100.
Hog nuts and toe jam,
Navel fuzz and piggy breath.
It's what's for lunch, son.

--Protecting the innocent