SPAM Haiku 17501-17600

Move backwards to Numbers 17401-17500.

17501.
what is it Mulder?
i have to tell you something--
the SPAM--it's out there!

--odanrav

17502.
disgusting meat food
unsolicited emails
what's the difference?

--odanrav

17503.
made a grave mistake--
used SPAM in Atkins' diet
pray for my demise!

--odanrav

17504.
environmental?
if SPAM spoiled, how could you tell?
Hormel makes no waste!

--odanrav

17505.
spa--relaxing room
pam--a non-stick cooking spray
SPAM--the pig was fooled

--odanrav

17506.
does Bill Gates eat SPAM?
pervasive, disgusting, fake
this explains Windows!

--odanrav

17507.
SPAM, SPAM, what art thou?
SPAM by any other name
would smell just as gross!

--odanrav

17508.
why do i sit here
writing haiku about SPAM?
i'll try limericks

--odanrav

17509.
Russ Meyers' Lorna.
What were they eating at lunch?
First time I saw SPAM.

--Scat O'Sinus, scatosinusman@excite.com

17510.
It rests in a can...
But will I enjoy the taste?
MY GOD THIS IS GOOD.

--Ryan J., Bovinecrusader@hotmail.com

17511.
Treasure in a can
It can make some musubi.
Wham! Bam! Thank you, SPAM!

--Ryan J., bovinecrusader@hotmail.com

17512.
Snakes rattle the trail
Port-o-pot in desert grove
I hold the SPAM in

--Shelley

17513.
Friday night, alone.
Searching the larder, I find,
a tin of SPAM. Joy.

--John Byer

17514.
Tesco van arrived.
Unloaded, signed, and sorted.
No tins of SPAM though.

--John Byer

17515.
O fellow addicts.
As we lie on our deathbeds,
We eulogize SPAM.

--John Byer

17516.
"It's meat Jim but not...."
"SPAM-ons on the starboard bow."
Star Trek meets SPAM. Weird.

--John Byer

17517.
News of the World says,
"All human life is there," but,
It's here--SPAM haiku.

--John Byer

17518.
SPAM acrostic verse
is impossible, I think,
in haiku structure.

--John Byer

17519.
Take a slice of SPAM
Dip it in some fresh batter
Fry it in a pan

--a SPAM fan

17520.
The Naked Chef says,
"Flambé your SPAM in Cointreau."
Don't listen to him.

--John Byer

17521.
Tiny cubes glisten,
floating in lemon Jell-O.
Mmm, Mmm. Good pig meat!

--Chuck Shotton, ctshotton@hotmail.com

17522.
Pearl Harbor got bombed.
"We need chow for huge armies!"
Hormel stock price soars.

--Milford Pigboy

17523.
What kind of loser
submits haiku to a SPAM
site?...wait a minute...

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17524.
Strolling through Shop-Rite
New SPAM type: turkey in can
Just what the earth needs...

--Phil, Philweisnj@aol.com

17525.
Vile, detestable
SPAM chunks!Pigs everywhere scream
for retribution!

--Milford Pigboy

17526.
Compare SPAM, women
They both come with a can, but
SPAM is much cheaper

--T. Gibson

17527.
I swallow it all
Phlegm rises, head spins around
I win the tenner

--Emsta-SPAM is the only way, famousgherkin@hotmail.com

17528.
Eat it with eyes closed
Inspect not the slick pink slab
Once I found a tooth

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17529.
Comfortable couch
Crusted SPAM in the skillet
You don't seem to mind

--Dan Carver, dancarver1@hotmail.com

17530.
Blast of tail pipe fire
Police far behind our wake
SPAM in the gas tank

--Dan Carver, dancarver1@hotmail.com

17531.
What is the big deal?
It's just ham and spices... and...
Well... some other stuff.

--Jimmy Sweeney

17532.
Two good things happened.
The new SPAM plant opened, and
All the strays are gone!

--Jimmy Sweeney

17533.
Picture happiness.
Try to picture a land with
SPAM as president.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17534.
O'er the land of the
free and the home of the SPAM.
SPAMkee doodle doo.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17535.
I am the SPAM King.
Hooo. I am the walrus. Hooo.
I am the SPAM King.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17536.
Vietnam? Not peace.
Assassination? Not good.
SPAM? Not fucking bad.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17537.
Eat me. Eat it all.
I love to be eaten whole.
I am the SPAM King.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17538.
Does Pam? Yes. Sam? Yes.
Does Cam? YES. How about Fritz?
YES! They all eat SPAM!

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17539.
I went to France once.
Haute cuisine and escargots.
No SPAM though. Came back.

--John Byer

17540.
OFSTED next Monday.
Hope my "reggie" is mellowed
by SPAM for breakfast.

--John Byer

17541.
Death Row, 'lectric chair.
Last request for breakfast--SPAM.
They fry together.

--John Byer

17542.
My satellite dish,
"Discovery, News and Sport."
No SPAM channel though.

--John Byer

17543.
Gargling with SPAM, Ann,
would mellow that vitriol.
Which Ann? you think. R?

--John Byer

17544.
Actually it was
that Tory haridan, witch.
SPAM of the devil.

--John Byer

17545.
Pranged my car today.
No filler but don't despair,
SPAM is versatile.

--John Byer

17546.
Vile, unspeakably
greasy, lurid pink SPAM cube:
from lunch, nausea.

--Milford Pigboy

17547.
Reprehensible
leftover pig offal chunks:
they float in my soup.

--Milford Pigboy

17548.
Unmitigated
gall; to serve greasy SPAM chunks
at fancy dress ball.

--Milford Pigboy

17549.
Inhuman fiend who
first made SPAM: go back to pit
in Hell that spawned you!

--Milford Pigboy

17550.
Vile, nauseating
SPAM slice: just to hear your name
makes stomach queasy.

--Milford Pigboy

17551.
SPAM and provolone
hot onion roll surrounding
perfect with mayo

--Dwight Kirkpatrick

17552.
"Revolution'ry"
new pull-tab SPAM can, now on
history's ash heap.

--Milford Pigboy

17553.
Vile, deceitful loaf;
they say you are just "spiced ham,"
but we know better.

--Milford Pigboy

17554.
Bouquet of slices,
colorful garnish; image,
not reality.

--Milford Pigboy

17555.
Homogenized pig
parts pressed into pink cube--it's
engineered that way.

--Milford Pigboy

17556.
Aching, bleary head
Soft, regurgitated SPAM
Smelly pink pillow

--flem

17557.
What an evil dream
Sinking in warm, quicksand SPAM
No more sleep tonight

--flem

17558.
Gigantic pink clouds
Psychiatrist wonders why
Sunset makes me ill

--flem

17559.
It's three whole days now,
since I last composed SPAM-ku.
Can't believe it--cured.

--John Byer

17560.
SPAM also is cured.
A thought worthy of haiku.
Take it day by day.

--John Byer

17561.
Cognitive powers
a special talent of pigs?
Don't think so--SPAM-bo.

--John Byer

17562.
SPAM-bo, Rambo, yeah?
Obvious analogy.
Brain power, denied.

--John Byer

17563.
Abomination!
Unnatural union of
shredded porcine parts!

--Milford Pigboy

17564.
Do you remember
that scene in "Deliverance"?
"Squeal like a pig." Gross.

--John Byer

17565.
Microflora of
pig waste lagoon: Frankenstein
genetic exchange.

--Milford Pigboy

17566.
"Mister, I love the
way..." (Yes, Deliverance) "...you
wear that (SPAM-pie) hat."

--John Byer

17567.
Back to that great film.
"This SPAM is special, aint it?"
Corn gone--replacement.

--John Byer

17568.
"Alien!" Great film.
Influential movie. SPAM,
would save you Ripley.

--John Byer

17569.
Bait the trap with SPAM.
Irresistible morsel.
Into the airlock.

--John Byer

17570.
Great white shark called Jaws.
Fill him up with endless SPAM.
Save all the swimmers.

--John Byer

17571.
Windows, pigs enter.
"An American werewolf..."
Like room service--SPAM.

--John Byer

17572.
Dots again, naughty.
But another great movie.
Werewolves--ersatz SPAM.

--John Byer

17573.
Holding can of SPAM
Nixon looks at cameras
"I am not a crook!"

--finbar

17574.
SPAM runs down baseline
Toward home plate; bunt is perfect
A suicide squeeze

--finbar

17575.
Summer warm ev'ning
Sitting by fire under stars
The SPAM soon sizzles

--P.C., plc1@siu.edu

17576.
Dare you eat the SPAM?
Gastrointestinal hell
Shall be your reward.

--Anonymous

17577.
Oh, foul addiction!
Writing SPAM-Ku I wax old
Oh, worthless pastime!

--Anonymous

17578.
Jelly-coated ham
Slides so gently down my throat
Oh how I love SPAM

--Erin Kennedy, chatty_chicky@hotmail.com

17579.
As I slowly die
Before my eyes it flashes
My final wish...SPAM

--Erin Kennedy, chatty_chicky@hotmail.com

17580.
What doth smelleth worse:
The putrid swine-flesh called SPAM
Or this tainted verse?

--Anonymous

17581.
More meat molecules
Per cubic centimeter
Than natural flesh.

--H. Ormel

17582.
I've never kicked ass.
Kicked a can of SPAM once though.
Couldn't open it.

--John Byer

17583.
SPAM is pretty cool
I've never had the pink stuff
What does it taste like?

--Anonymous

17584.
what is in this "SPAM"?
does it include piggy eyes?
someone please tell me!

--Troy Denton

17585.
why must SPAM be pink?
why not give it more color?
like green, red, or blue

--Troy Denton

17586.
SPAM is really cool
does SPAM turn green when moldy?
why not name it splink?

--Troy Denton

17587.
SPAM, CRAM, PRAM, RAM, SCHLAM
lots of things rhyme with this SPAM
wonder how many?

--Mike Thies, dude_mike106@hotmail.com

17588.
SPAM makes good ammo
It would probably hurt lots
SPAM could go in guns

--Troy Denton

17589.
I've never ate SPAM
Is its texture like Jell-O?
Or is it like soup?

--Troy Denton

17590.
Slimy, repulsive
SPAM loaf, product of ghoulish
pig mass-murderers.

--Milford Pigboy

17591.
SPAM cannot decay
Never spoiling, always fresh
Eternal shelf-life

--H. Ormel

17592.
Don't do as I did
I fed my goldfish some SPAM
Belly up, it floats

--H. Ormel

17593.
The acronym "SPAM":
Sodium Permeated
Artificial Meat

--H. Ormel

17594.
Mediocrity
Your pink blandness repels me
Ambitionless meat

--H. Ormel

17595.
SPAM does not mix well
With most flavors of Jell-O
Just trust me on this

--H. Ormel

17596.
Baskin Robbins had
a new summer flavor, but
SPAM curdled the cream.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17597.
Camping with Uncle
Joe at 10--weekend of SPAM
and molestation.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17598.
Stick a fork in it
Then yank the SPAM from the can
The meat-brick quivers

--H. Ormel

17599.
Must I eat the SPAM?
Please tube feed me so I won't
Taste it going down

--H. Ormel

17600.
Slaughterhouse offal!
SPAM is proof that the masses
Will buy anything

--H. Ormel