SPAM Haiku 18101-18200

Move backwards to Numbers 18001-18100.


18101.
A new wave of crime
SPAM knock-offs hit local stores
It cannot get worse
--Wild T.

18102.
Thunder in distance.
Lovers in rose-scented bed.
SPAM in underwear.

--kinky kouple

18103.
SPAM The Musical
Soon to hit the Broadway Stage
Get your tickets now!

--Wild T.

18104.
Japanese kanji--
Sue now knows two thousand words.
"SPAM" has many strokes.

--Amiko Miyagi

18105.
You constipated?
Are you about to explode?
Stop eating the SPAM.

--K. L. (GI doc in Denver)

18106.
Where hides one his SPAM?
Perhaps up in the attic.
Or behind hubcaps.

--A. J. Foyt

18107.
He drew attention
When to work he came that day:
Bow tie made of SPAM.

--man in grey flannel suit

18108.
"Could be toxic shock,"
Said the doctor to Ms. Byes.
"SPAM tampons? Unwise!"

--OB-GYN resident (UCLA Medical Center)

18109.
Ten angry crickets
Break the silence of the night.
Mice have found the SPAM.

--Jimmy

18110.
SPAM Museum's closed.
Hot summer death befalls the
Air conditioner.

--H. Potter

18111.
Pa laughed, but Ma cried.
Her SPAM casserole was bad.
Ma killed Pa with knife.

--Grandpa McCoy

18112.
Hailstones on the roof.
Such sound can be deafening.
SPAM digestion, too.

--Billy Carter (Plains, Georgia)

18113.
Cool, cold, rock-hard ice
Traps him inside the cabin.
He makes love to SPAM.

--Larry F. (Ohio)

18114.
Into the abyss
Drops from hand the can of SPAM.
Let's to Pizza Hut.

--Dave Thomas (Columbus, OH)

18115.
Eagle sees the trout--
So swoops down at speed of light...
Finds tin can of SPAM

--Alaska Native

18116.
One dark stormy night
Came pirates with ill intent--
To steal the Crown's SPAM

--Captain Bob of Barbados

18117.
air conditioning
in the office is broken
i glisten like SPAM

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

18118.
A can of SPAM is
A tranquillizing object.
Just don't open it.

--L. Wittgenstein

18119.
How would I take death--
Slowly or quickly? you ask.
I think I'd chose SPAM.

--J. Hendrix (London)

18120.
SPAM's great history
Runs between this book's covers.
Read--to the last word!

--R.A.D. (Seattle)

18121.
You failed the exam.
Guess you should forget law school
And start selling SPAM.

--Wally Bagehot

18122.
SPAM has eight letters:
S and P and A and M--
Plus G-O-O-D.

--Karen Twetko, SPAM's International Director of Marketing

18123.
Blood dripping like rain--
Something's terribly wrong here.
The SPAM wasn't cooked.

--Ed Eckerssen, FDA Inspector in Omaha

18124.
Let go of your stress--
With no clothes on, squat on SPAM.
You need do no more.

--Trixie Jones--I'm a stress counselor

18125.
There'd be much less pain--
And maybe no blood at all--
If our scabs were SPAM.

--Melvin Truppen, pre-med at U. of Kentucky

18126.
Why these haiku rules?
Dactylic hexameter
Might do SPAM some good.

--S. I. Hayakawa (California)

18127.
Old Armour Treet cans
in pantry: that's not SPAM, that's
Abomination!

--Milford Pigboy

18128.
heaven: miles of SPAM.
earth: gallons of milk--the cows
lounge & the barn burns.

--Jamie Fischer, "DREAM #362"

18129.
the blackbirds know how
to hold the SPAM in their wings,
not metal boxes.

--Jamie Fischer, "The BLACKBIRDS"

18130.
Ancient dowager--
her food storage has phony
SPAM. Death becomes her.

--Milford Pigboy

18131.
I don't understand
What they want with all the SPAM
I want some good meat

--giancarlo, gian22@aol.com

18132.
Dead hungry for SPAM
Give me something to eat now!
Don't give me mad cow!

--giancarlo galliani, gian22@aol.com

18133.
The world is welcome
here! Come, drink green punch, eat our
fine SPAM casseroles!

--Milford Pigboy

18134.
Olympic tourists:
SPAM is more precious than booze
in Salt Lake City.

--Milford Pigboy

18135.
Pay no attention
to SPAM behind the curtain;
We're just normal folk!

--Milford Pigboy

18136.
Brief erotica:
Lulu's loins longed for Larry's
Lubricious SPAM loaf.

--Bill C.

18137.
Condsider this, Sue:
SPAM can in hand worth more than
Two cans on the moon.

--A. Forrism

18138.
From monkeys to men?
Perhaps Darwin concluded
SPAM's the missing link.

--S. J. Gould

18139.
Sun heats the summer
And snow freezes the winter--
Yet he still eats SPAM.

--(name withheld)

18140.
SPAM microcosm:
Six microrganisms,
Slow, sad, s l i d i n g d e a t h.

--Mike Kondria

18141.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM STOP.

--Traffic Officer Mike McDaniels

18142.
Strong swift winds of SPAM
Covered Samoa one night.
All cats disappeared.

--S. Sutuipoposu

18143.
Cold wet crashing waves
Overturned the twice-doomed boat.
"Little SPAM" went down.

--diasbled Navy vet (Texas)

18144.
Dew on the lily.
Morning sun creeping upward.
FedEx bringing SPAM.

--Rudi Fenstermacher, Jr.

18145.
So quickly placed the
Anesthesiologist
SPAM o'er mouth and nose.

--Methanne Shell

18146.
Antu trapped the seal
In brave Eskimo fashion
And then named him "SPAM."

--Ishkuna Anuknaha

18147.
Push the envelope--
Push that large moist loaf of SPAM
Up your small dry butt.

--????

18148.
Out spread the blue lake
Just like our picnic blanket.
SPAM, some wine, and you.

--Romantic Guy

18149.
Newspaper SPAM cans
Appear on the shore, waiting
To take you away.

--John L.

18150.
Believe it or not--
I don't love you any more.
Give me back my SPAM.

--Kathy's clown

18151.
Volleyball players
Can spike the SPAM with gusto.
Do you have THAT gift?

--Coach Pat "Butch" Butcher

18152.
SPAM as breast implants?
Listen: that small inner voice
Is telling you "NO!"

--Tried it...hated it.

18153.
Poor little-liked SPAM.
Feels bad, smells bad, and tastes bad.
What does it sound like?

--Sue Kritchell, author of The SPAM-Free Cookbook

18154.
Colonel Mustard, in
The kitchen, and--sad to say--
With a can of SPAM.

--Inspector Clousseau

18155.
No bible today
Can tell either you or me
How SPAM came to be.

--Uwe Fingerhut out of Austria

18156.
Corn cobs and bottles,
Hot dogs, cucumbers, SPAM loaves
Make her think of him.

--SPAM Dreamin'

18157.
Cold snow melts my heart
Like how radiation melts
SPAM and your body.

--Dr. Oppenheimer

18158.
Olympic moments:
enjoy some gourmet fry sauce
on your SPAMburger.

--Milford Pigboy

18159.
Built around "Posh" SPAM,
Hormel's pop-rock singing group
Will not need spice, girls.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@shaw.ca

18160.
Oily porcine thing
Hungrily open with key
Spread to taste on tongue

--David Zaccour, dzaccour@houston.rr.com

18161.
Lillies float on pond
Daylight sinks into the night
Dead SPAM surfaces

--Anonymous

18162.
Pale moon shines in night
Critics chirp their SPAM-Ku song
Timely is dove now

--Anonymous

18163.
SPAM, have you missed me??
no SPAMKu penned recently.....
my love has not waned.

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18164.
Our status meeting
is two hours of flapping gums
and SPAM hitting fan.

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18165.
I haven't done much
in my "yob"...no answers found.
Am I in blue can??

--Total Loser, still_slurpin_the_gravy@the_boneyard.com

18166.
hunt pigs in Kali.
hills overrun with boars/sows.
SPAM knows no season.

--.45 Long Colt, kalifornia_pig_lover@the_boneyard.com

18167.
Mideast terrorists:
Get thee to a piggery!
Islam's no excuse.

--Milford Pigboy

18168.
Hot rice in nori
Shoyu SPAM is placed atop
One dollar fifteen

--SPAMalicious

18169.
Christmas hamper time
Oh no there's no SPAM in it
It was in the ad!

--tunitin, tunitin@hotmail.com

18170.
Twin trade towers fall
Bin Laden's butt tightens up
Can't blame this on SPAM

--nukethebastard

18171.
With boxes of SPAM
Rebuild the World Trade Center
For'er stand in peace

--Bill F., johnsmallberries1@yahoo.com

18172.
Terror in New York
They despise our lunch meat ways
SPAM stands proud and tall!

--Mike Newman

18173.
strange pinkish-green glow?
dinner guests departed home...
Luminous hair gel!!!!!

--night starvation

18174.
Bin Laden stock tip:
Buy Hormel! Soon to be lots
of soldiers in field.

--Milford Pigboy

18175.
Pink, with white pustules
A teen's acne at its worst
Or Hormel's children?

--screaming fist

18176.
Protein starved masses
There's a cure for hunger but
Can you stomach it?

--screaming fist

18177.
the war movie plays
brains, guts, horror, injury
my thoughts turn to SPAM

--Stevo

18178.
me resting on pink,
the soft porous pungent bed.
a bad SPAM nightmare.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18179.
to be or not to
be meat. that is the question
for all little SPAMs.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18180.
thousand years from now.
old remains and cans of SPAM.
what a legacy!

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18181.
four score and seven
years ago, our fathers gave
birth to porcine loaf.

--Android5, android5@onebox.com

18182.
Dining oddity
SPAM at the computer hutch
Dried disgarded spunk

--Tom Lilly

18183.
Hardly boneless, SPAM
is the skeleton of your
callow loneliness.

--Tom Lilly

18184.
Who's got the real meat?
Not you, SPAMku dilettantes.
Not you, my canned hams.

--Tom Lilly

18185.
Misfit factory,
whose swine lap at the trough that
poisons them... SPAMku.

--Tom Lilly

18186.
Cry vengence, cry SPAM
Cans litter Afghanistan
Now who lives in fear

--Wild T.

18187.
Fly pink, white, and blue
The United States of SPAM
Let your freak flag fly

--Wild T.

18188.
My stomach hurts bad
Could it be the lunch I had
SPAM with yogurt sauce

--rubba

18189.
Gene, Paul, Ace, Peter
The legendary group KISS
Really love their SPAM

--rubba

18190.
A whole lotta SPAM
Chilled SPAM and Led Zeppelin
Stairway to Heaven

--rubba

18191.
All we are sayin'
Is give SPAM lunch loaf a chance
I did and it sucks

--rubba

18192.
eat a hamburger
in twenty minutes, throw up
into blue can...SPAM!!

--rubba

18193.
I'm very confused
I know that SPAM SOUNDS like ham
What the hell is it?

--rubba

18194.
One time I ate SPAM
It went through me so fast that
I SPAMmed in my pants

--rubba

18195.
Large breasts made of SPAM
Lunch loaf naughty parts tingle
One big SPAM cream dream

--rubba

18196.
Once while eating SPAM
I pondered on the blue can
I then vomited

--rubba

18197.
Light danced on Mom's back
It shines of grease...pink, red spots
the true source of SPAM!

--rubba

18198.
I cannot stop this
My job is very boring
Why not write SPAMku?

--rubba

18199.
I am looking for
a seven syllable word
about freaky SPAM

--rubba

18200.
Why don't you just eat
A big plate of doggy poop
It would tase better

--rubba


Move forwards to Numbers 18201-18300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.