SPAM Haiku 401-500

Move backwards to Numbers 301-400.


401.
What once contained SPAM
now rusts in tall roadside weed--
Kerouac long gone.
--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@interramp.com

402.
If you have a leak
and caulking is what you need
you can just use SPAM

--Amy Marie McManus, amarie@mailgw.anes.med.umich.edu

403.
Hark! I hear the SPAM
the tinny clink of the can
mysterious song

--Amy Marie McManus, amarie@mailgw.anes.med.umich.edu

404.
Look, John Travolta
How I miss the butterflies
No room to bake SPAM

--Anonymous

405.
Oh, befuddled SPAM
resting in its little tin
plays at being ham

--Anonymous

406.
Behold the Beauty,
An unopened can of SPAM;
Its essence blinds us...

--asmialek@SEVA.net

407.
Big pink eraser
Or is it a tasty Treet?
Oops! Wrong meat product.

--Anonymous

408.
Hormel court battle
Muppet named Spa'am can't be
Name too similar

--Daniel Chen, dschen@cs.buffalo.edu

409.
New Muppet Spa'am
Must be mystery muppet
Can't tell what's in it

--Daniel Chen, dschen@cs.buffalo.edu

410.
Gelatinous pink
Arteriosclerosis
In a blue tin can

--Bill Lundy

411.
Follow your SPAM bliss
It will take you far away
A place where pigs rule

--Taz Cale

412.
Manufactured snail
in a tin, oozing away
on a slimy trail.

--John Lee

413.
SPAM I am my man
Sweet and pink, watch my globules
As I die, fry... fry...

--Dave Goodrum

414.
Brainless and gutless--
Well not the last one. Brainless,
I reach for the tongue.

--Dave Goodrum

415.
Who is not SPAM here
I say let them rot in hell
Here is where I rot.

--Dave Goodrum

416.
Being SPAM is good
I will live when you are gone
Shit me if you will.

--Dave Goodrum

417.
In the morning, yes
In the evening, oh yes, yes
Late night snack, oh SPAM

--Dave Goodrum

418.
Fried in thin slices
Cubed and served with cheese not Swiss
Some like it mashed up.

--Dave Goodrum

419.
Must I speak plainly
I want the world to eat SPAM
The SPAM trade is good

--Dave Goodrum

420.
Guts rumble and boil.
Visions of rising SPAM-gorge
Plague my toilet sprint.

--Anonymous

421.
SPAM in the suburbs,
Ethnic icon in the can--
Caucasian Soul Food!

--Anonymous

422.
If Satan had used
SPAM to tempt Eve, would we now
Live in Paradise?

--Anonymous

423.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM AAAAAAAAAA MAPS MAPS MAPS
MAPS MAPS MAPS MAPS MAPS

--Powdered TOAST Man

424.
At the Last Supper,
Apostles order the SPAM.
"Christ! It tastes like shit!"

--Anonymous

425.
Boiled, fried, poached, or raw,
Skewered, roasted, or toasted.
SPAM! That's the ticket!

--Anonymous

426.
Read these SPAM haiku.
Curious, I tried a bite.
No joke, it's putrid!

--Anonymous

427.
It's whipped meat, with lumps,
Smooth yet gritty, firm but soft,
The cute pink patty.

--Anonymous

428.
SPAM is a safe food.
Could anything so greasy
Get stuck in your throat?

--Anonymous

429.
SPAM is born of pig--
All the parts chopped and stirred in
Procrustean stew.

--Anonymous

430.
Who invented SPAM?
Demented Rabbi, crazed Jew
Angry at his God?

--Anonymous

431.
Marie Antoinette
Should have kept her head and said,
"Just let them eat SPAM."

--Anonymous

432.
Forty year-old man,
Pathetic, hunched at the screen.
Writing SPAM haiku.

--Anonymous

433.
"Open the can, man!"
Pink, meaty treat slides down throat.
"Where is the can, man?"

--Anonymous

434.
The answer to life
Lies in one simple action
To open the can

--Darren Sleeman, darren@open17.europe.apple.com

435.
Was Yoda's advice
"Use the SPAM, Luke. Use the SPAM!"
A SPAM-inspired fluke?

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

436.
Han in Carbonite,
Jabba thawed him with bacon
Now he's SPAM Solo

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

437.
Star Wars' Storm Troopers
Run funny in their white suits
Vader feeds them SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

438.
Elmer Fudd Gantry
Goes through five white suits a day
He eats too much SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

439.
Lee Marvin ate SPAM
This inspired his war movie
Called The Big Red One

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

440.
In Taxi Driver
Travis thought he was cooking
SPAM over gas flame

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

441.
Godzilla ate SPAM
Then destroyed all of Tokyo
To cleanse his palate

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

442.
SPAM PowerRanger
Defeats enemies with Gel
In reruns only

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

443.
Bob Dylan ate SPAM
Sought truth and change for country
SPAM blowing in wind

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

444.
Was beseeched by friend
To discontinue haiku
Based solely on SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

445.
SPAM on the griddle.
Sizzles, spits, shrinks, but dammit--
It won't disappear!

--Anonymous

446.
Gullet to colon,
SPAM sliding, swooping to its
Greasy terminus.

--Anonymous

447.
What goes best with SPAM?
The red? The white? Or the rose?
Nah, BEER! Lots of it!

--Anonymous

448.
SPAM! What a gut bomb!
Gags me, this vile meat product.
Who can eat this shit?

--Anonymous

449.
SPAM frying in lard
The whir of the kitchen fan
Summer of my youth

--Linda

450.
Is it wrong to lust
After rich yet unknown meats?
Ask not to know SPAM.

--Michael Jered Kopp

451.
In vile disbelief,
I dissolve into heartbreak.
The lid won't come off.

--F. Caravella, thefrank@aol.com

452.
The dragons gather
On Komodo at sunrise.
SPAM--who needs a goat?

--Kristin Nelson, kan1@cornell.edu

453.
It waits for you there
Gelatinous, porcine verse
The SPAM Haiku Page

--John Serna, jvs@crl.com

454.
The stars will not fry
Aurora borealis
SPAM glows in the dark

--Vincent Rideout

455.
Can with round corners,
Dense and blue like summer sky.
Thank you Hormel--yum.

--Jeff Cerier, jcerier@world.std.com

456.
Spamatozoan
swimming freely, abandon,
spies egg, breaks through, pink.

--gconroy@siue.edu

457.
Outdoor church potluck.
SPAM casserole steams in sun.
Flies choose the tuna.

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

458.
SPAM poetry page.
American zen poems
Celebrating meat?

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

459.
Is your SPAM too dry?
Kraft has a fine solution--
Smear it with CHEEZ WHIZ!

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

460.
Hormel, Cudahy
Fight for canned meat market share.
The consumers lose.

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

461.
Ivan Pavlov's dog
Drooled, but never drooled for SPAM.
THAT would be a trick!

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

462.
Seek a tactile thrill?
Place a cube of SPAM on floor.
Sit on it, naked

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

463.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

464.
The small tab broken:
SPAM trapped inside forever!
Cannibalism?

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

465.
Wet pink and tasty
Hard exterior...peaceful?
Nuke all the Frenchmen!

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

466.
My cousin is SPAM
Grandmother understands him
Wet pink Thanksgiving!

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

467.
I once planted SPAM
It reached long for the blue sky
Victory garden

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

468.
Shakespeare ate pink meat
Happiness, thy name is SPAM!
Close the tin curtain

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

469.
This is one great food!
Why knock SPAM when it's tasty?
Pork lips? Big deal. Eat!

--Anonymous

470.
A dark, moonless night
In the sky a wondrous sight
The SPAM Nebula

--Anonymous

471.
I hear the SPAM ball
It bounces, porqua, porqua
A haiku of spring

--B. Tallen

472.
Salty and slimy
It slides out of the can woosh
Leaving gel behind

--Anonymous

473.
It lasts forever
Food for the apocalypse
SPAM won't let you down

--Anonymous

474.
Processed meat--oh, joy!
In their small cans, they sit proud.
Magnificent SPAM!

--Anonymous

475.
Ants in a SPAM can
Glancing backwards at themselves,
A microcosm.

--Paul Hehn

476.
True tale: Survival
Training. Seven days, then SPAM.
Best meal of my life.

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

477.
Here is a good thought.
Use SPAM in place of golf ball.
Holes-in-one galore!

--Dan Twiggs, SHAKA@UH.EDU

478.
Brave first astronauts.
Really left SPAM on the moon.
Not a stupid flag.

--Dan Twiggs, SHAKA@UH.EDU

479.
Angry mob prowling.
Torches, pitchforks, and loud shouts.
They hunt FrankenSPAM.

--Dan Twiggs, SHAKA@UH.EDU

480.
For years in hiding,
Now revealing all my shame...
The truth--I love SPAM!

--Aaron Romanowsky, aromanowsky@cfa.harvard.edu

481.
Leering old codger
Entreats young girl from doorway--
"Want a piece of SPAM...?"

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

482.
Jitters, sleepless nights.
Wracking brains to no purpose.
A SPAM obsession.

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

483.
Hundreds of haiku
On SPAM! What a waste of time!
Get a life, people!

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

484.
Boss thinks I'm working,
unaware of my secret
on-line obsession.

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

485.
Screen-saver concept:
Flying toasters spew SPAM. Quick!
Call Berkeley Systems!

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

486.
Autoerotic!
Open can, insert member:
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!

--Jon Howell and Liam Friedland, jhowell@us.oracle.com and lfriedla@us.oracle.com

487.
So warm and squishy
One week in my underwear
Smell is horrible

--Dpotthast

488.
SPAM, it tastes like shit
The thought of it makes me sick
But I can't resist

--Spiffybone

489.
Pepto Bismol, not
That infinitesimal:
SPAM is on the lam.

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

490.
Gandhi ate SPAM once;
Eating disorder followed;
We heed the warning...

--asmialek@SEVA.net

491.
I ponder the can:
"What is the weird green substance?..."
I stop pondering.

--asmialek@SEVA.net

492.
I ate all the SPAM.
What the heck was I thinking?
I think I'll go barf!

--Anonymous

493.
Enveiled in mayo,
SPAM feels groom's nibble. It's Great
Expectorations
!

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

494.
Tropical fish fear
Advent of "SPAM Flakes for Fish!"...
Pollutes the water.

--Anonymous

495.
You promised me SPAM
I brought pork rinds and hot sauce
so much in common

--Anonymous

496.
Three days from Juneau
only SPAM left and no key
the men have brave teeth

--Anonymous

497.
SPAM's being pan fried
the only reason for this
is I love the man

--Anonymous

498.
If there were SPAM trees
I'd have to name them Packwoods
they'd be protected

--Anonymous

499.
Is this our fifteen?
Could SPAM be our fame maker?
Congealed irony.

--B. Lenz

500.
It's hard to believe,
So much creativity.
It's only canned meat!

--Jeff Cerier, jcerier@world.std.com


Move forwards to Numbers 501-600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.