SPAM Haiku 4201-4300

Move backwards to Numbers 4101-4200.


4201.
Hamburger Helper,
next to SPAM, looks like the work
of a gourmet chef.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4202.
Eating SPAM is like
vasectomizing yourself
with a plastic fork.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4203.
I exaggerate.
Vasectomizing yourself
ain't nearly that bad.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4204.
Make some SPAM fondue.
Turn some Johnny Mathis on.
Chicks really dig it!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4205.
Drop a pinch of SPAM
in her glass of Chardonnay.
Aphrodisiac!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4206.
Oops: I just found out
that trick only works on cheap
trailer trash. Sorry.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4207.
Ferdinand Porsche
shows his "people's meat" to an
approving Hitler.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4208.
Fabric softener
costs too much. Just toss some SPAM
in the rinse cycle.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4209.
"Canned-ed. Just like a
cube of SPAM. What will you do
when you're canned-ed, and..."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4210.
"...you know you're a man?"
Remember those old SPAM ads
starring Chuck Connors?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4211.
Intestinal pork.
Porkoid devoid of real flesh--
I eat it daily!

--Dennis Harris, dharris@bluemarble.net

4212.
When reception sucks,
our favorite food conducts:
SPAM can antenna!

--Peter G. LeFevre, plefevre@athenet.net

4213.
SPAM's good, SPAM is great
The intrinsic joy within--
I must masturbate!!

--Mark and Pete

4214.
Haiku of canned food
Planning syllables, no rhyme
Well maybe this time

--Anonymous

4215.
SPAM Olympic Games.
Green, red, black, yellow, blue rings
On the tin, not in.

--john.foster@camel.com

4216.
Under island sun
I fish with my friend Joe Loo.
No bites. Damn. Eat SPAM.

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4217.
In old days I went
fishing with lunch and bait in
same can. Bless Hormel!

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4218.
Shrimp musubi 'kay,
but I say SPAM musubi
King of the Island.

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4219.
Big wedding luau!!
Poi, and new kind pig in can.
All good kind kau kau.

--Guy Chaney, GUYSAGE@aol.com

4220.
Buzzed at by bees and
Fluttered at by butterflies
Summer SPAM sandwich

--Charlie.Laycock@cs.stockport.ac.uk

4221.
Futures trading wild.
July bellies limit up.
SPAM as good as gold?

--hdurk@pacbell.net

4222.
With SPAM in a can
Cosmic possibilities
Meat-space interface

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4223.
Welcome to Spam Trek
Information enterprise
Is Data greater?

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4224.
The key turns slowly
I peel back your metal skin
Naked, pink, waiting

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4225.
You sit and quiver
Meaty and moist, my pleasure
I plunge in the knife

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4226.
A can from the stars?
How do we communicate?
ET or eaty?

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4227.
You burst from your can
No longer pink, now scaly
Spamosaurus rex

--Dave Coleman, rockrat@haznews.demon.co.uk

4228.
Ugh I will not eat
green eggs and SPAM, I will not
eat them EEK I am.

--eek taylor, jtaylo1@gl.umbc.edu

4229.
You stare with pink glare
as if to say "Eat me fool!"
Ok, here I come.

--eek taylor, jtaylo1@gl.umbc.edu

4230.
Gelatinous slab
Shelf-life of eternity
Delicately pink

--Philip "Tug" Benham

4231.
Tin can of goodness
Tasty wedge, chunked perfection
Ambrosia of man

--Philip "Tug" Benham

4232.
Tear down the walls of
Quietest room in the house
SPAM comes spilling out

--Maria Demetris

4233.
Hard times in winter
Pink loaf is our only food
Don't save me any

--Maria Demetris

4234.
Pharaohs rest in tombs
Sleep the sleep of the ages
Eat SPAM on waking

--Maria Demetris

4235.
Wouldn't feed it to
A dog. What on earth is in
There, aside from hog?

--Maria Demetris

4236.
"Cut him open!" the
Cry resounds. Pink marbled guts
Seep out of the wound.

--Maria Demetris

4237.
Squishy pink stuff on
My plate. Didn't know my Mom
Could hate me like this.

--Maria Demetris

4238.
Slice it paper thin.
Stick it on my window panes.
The room glows pinkly.

--Maria Demetris

4239.
SPAM is to real ham
as a security guard
is to a real cop

--Jon Stark

4240.
I want a Spam Man:
Jelly-pink, soft, slick, salty
and not all that dense.

--Alexandra Fletcher, alexndra@ni.net

4241.
Ever-loving ooze,
wrapped around the spicy pork.
Nector of the gods.

--Troy Janisch

4242.
NO MORE! NO MORE! UN-
POETIC HAM. WE MUST RE-
TURN TO BURMA-SPAM.

--Carl Rosenbush, Jr., Wilmington, Delaware

4243.
Fried up in a pan
A hot dog's poor pork cousin
Tastes good with mustard

--Robert Atkinson

4244.
Babe herds sheep for Blue.
Hormel offers farmer cash.
No escape from SPAM.

--Mitch Hagens, mhagens@uswnvg.com

4245.
It was wrong, all wrong
D'you remember Soylent Green?
It's SPAM, not humans!

--Donna Damm

4246.
SPAM makes SPAMBURGERs
But they're really hamburgers
'Cause it's made of ham

--Barry Damm

4247.
Pale, cold, and clammy
Like a several-day-old corpse.
Mmm, SPAM is tempting.

--Alex Lewin, lewin@vgi.com

4248.
On a twisty road
An empty rusted SPAM can
The corpse can't be far

--David del Rio, disgrace@pulp.vt.com

4249.
Carnivorous one,
Your SPAM cuisine makes me turn
Vegetarian.

--Jeff Dilcher, dilcher@cueva.com

4250.
Such a cheerful can
Fortune herself must favor
Processed meat product

--Centaur@albany.net

4251.
The key to her heart,
like the key on a SPAM can,
was cursed with pig lips.

--troy janisch

4252.
Eating SPAM sandwich
Feel like Keith fucking Richards
Dog humping my leg

--Anonymous

4253.
Glistening pork bits
Spiced, salted, chopped, and reformed:
SPAM is modern food.

--"As it Happens," CBC Radio

4254.
Eat it from the tin.
Don't cut your fingers on the
Little metal strip.

--"As it Happens," CBC Radio

4255.
Carved in the shape of
A long-forgotten lover,
SPAM feeds memories.

--"As it Happens," CBC Radio

4256.
It used to be cheap;
Now it costs, in Canada,
Five-fifty a pound.

--"As it Happens," CBC Radio

4257.
When your house is clean,
Why don't other people say,
"It looks spic and spam?"

--"As it Happens," CBC Radio

4258.
Red food-coloring
A fist-sized dollop of lard
Mix thoroughly; serve

--Bill Turner

4259.
Marie Antoinette
Disdains her royal subjects,
Says "Let them eat SPAM!"

--Anne Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4260.
Mailed camp care package
Beef jerky and cans of SPAM--
Return to sender

--Sally Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4261.
Now, the end is near,
And so I face the final
curtain: I ate SPAM.

--Steve Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4262.
Zamfir blows his can,
The master of the spam flute
(As seen on T.V.)

--Steve Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4263.
If SPAM were money,
I would share it with the world.
Edible income.

--Kirstin Lindmark

4264.
Lubricate the world
with your greasy libation.
SPAM out of control.

--Kirstin Lindmark

4265.
SPAM flies high above
SPAM tossers leap, throw, and catch
Dogs stand by drooling

--Emma

4266.
Some people ask me,
"Why do you write about SPAM?"
Because life is bleak.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4267.
The SPAM is balanced
On the edge of the counter--
Then, a careless hand.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4268.
I threw a SPAM can
In the air; it fell to earth
And dented my car.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4269.
I exchanged the soap
In the tub with a SPAM slice.
My wife was repulsed.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4270.
The robin seeks straw
To line its nest; I seek SPAM
To line my stomach.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4271.
After a late snack,
My stomach cramped painfully--
Yes, a SPAM SPASM.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4272.
At the vegan store,
I look for SPAM substitute,
Leave emptyhanded.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4273.
SPAM in the morning
What a way to start the day
You just can't beat that

--Anonymous

4274.
As I twist the key
Heaven will unfold to me
Pork food of my youth.

--SPlRlT@aol.com

4275.
SPAMBURGER Deluxe
Only one word comes to mind
Oxymoronic

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

4276.
God bless you, Hormel
Savior of all that's holy
What am I saying?!?!?

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

4277.
Ham and eggs or SPAM
Commitment and involvement
Or a bad newsnet

--Anonymous

4278.
The Great Taste of SPAM
Seventy-two recipes
Free recipe book

--Anonymous

4279.
U.S. inspected
And passed by the Department
of Agriculture

--Anonymous

4280.
How long can it keep
Within its little blue can?
This is my question

--Anonymous

4281.
Jolly Jolly SPAM
Nectar compares not to thee
Wonderful food stuff

--Anonymous

4282.
Bird nears hungry end
SPAM seed strewn generously
Bird chooses slow death

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4283.
SPAM earthquake erupts
Pink ooze emits from within
Victims eat for days

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4284.
SPAM Lite in blue can
Ingredients now noticed
Victim on white can

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4285.
Someone didn't like
The SPAM at the Olympic
Village Restaurant.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4286.
Flight 800 blew
Apart in midair. Last time
They serve SPAM on planes.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4287.
Bodies submerged for
Many weeks? Recover like
Lifting SPAM on fork.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4288.
So, how was your trip
To Minnesota, SHAM? Did
You see the Big Pig?

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4289.
Beatles: Have you seen
Polythene SPAM? Well, that's the
Only kind there is.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4290.
phosphonese blackness
frying meat below my hell
'bove heaven is spam

--2B2C2B (stands for Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

4291.
Pranksters call the store.
"Do you have SPAM in a can?"
"Better let it out."

--Scott Lasley, slasley@space.umd.edu

4292.
SPAM comes in a can
I like cheese it is a breeze
Give me SPAM and cheese

--Anonymous

4293.
SPAM, the cheap man's ham
Cooks in its very own can
With some Top Ramen.

--Anonymous

4294.
Vegetarians,
Stay away from that heathen!
(His breath smells of SPAM!)

--TJ

4295.
SPAM dipped in liquid
nitrogen, thrown from on high.
Pink splinters scatter.

--Scott Lasley, slasley@space.umd.edu

4296.
Little girl gymnasts.
One tests positive for SPAM.
Leaves the Games in shame.

--Michael Davis, DAVISTRGZR@aol.com

4297.
Changing the channel.
I hear the ad: "Sex with SPAM--
Next, on Geraldo."

--Spamboy

4298.
Alone in white room
With breakfast of champions,
Howard Hughes chows down.

--Sally Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4299.
How much SPAM would a
woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck
upchucked SPAM? A lot!

--Steven Hoffman, sandspc@ix.netcom.com

4300.
"SPAM is not the world.
The world is not repugnant.
I really hate SPAM."

--csanders3@juno.com


Move forwards to Numbers 4301-4400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.