SPAM Haiku 4401-4500

Move backwards to Numbers 4301-4400.

4401.
The dichotomy:
Steaming piles of corn meal, or
Cold gleaming pork bits?

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4402.
What to do? He waits,
Then asks the others with me:
"Side of beans or rice?"

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4403.
I am all alone
A world of inedibles
Only I can choose.

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4404.
The only thing left:
"I guess I'll have the SPAM, please."
Now they'll all love me.

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4405.
SPAM haiku for Tom
Uproarious laughter here
Boss will have your job

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4406.
Surreptitiously
Placed in your scrumptious dessert
Call the mortician

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4407.
Intestinal scourge
Gelatinous, pernicious
Death sentence for sure

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4408.
SPAM as your dinner
Gastroenteritis is
Inevitable

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4409.
SPAM killed Sweet Lenore
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore"
Ravens don't eat SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4410.
Transcendental art
The sound of one hand clapping
SPAM haiku is Zen

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4411.
Globulicious. Del-
icious and nutritious. Ugh.
I'm going to faint.

--Dennis Harris, dharris@bluemarble.net

4412.
How do you like them?
I'll take my eggs Spambled (tm) please
Bocuse weeps once more

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4413.
SPAM you luscious treat!
Fully cooked and ready t' eat
The working man's squab

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4414.
Escoffier lives!
Layer SPAM, eggs, cheese, and toast
C'est tres Spamtastique!

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4415.
See how the fish dive
For the greasy flecks I flick.
See how the fish float.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4416.
At the senior prom
I give her a SPAM corsage.
Jealous girls giggle.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4417.
Hansel and Gretel
Mark their trail with bits of SPAM.
Next day it's still there.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4418.
Tofu and spices
The ingredients of SPAM?
Yeah--in a pig's eye!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4419.
The vegan tries SPAM.
From his stomach's inferno,
Angry grunts arise.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4420.
The Fourth of July
Red SPAM, white corn, blue Jell-O
I salute the flag!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4421.
Carve SPAM like a tongue,
Stick it through your teeth and bite.
Animal House fun.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4422.
Necks snap in the snow.
Packs yield coveted blue cans.
Cold-blooded yeti!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4423.
Put SPAM in the bath.
Guests who mistake it for soap
Emerge pork perfumed.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4424.
When giraffes vomit,
It's a long, long, long way up.
That's why they shun SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4425.
The SPAM tin's no fine
and private place / Too many
pigs do there embrace.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4426.
An Olympic long
jumper's secret: eat SPAM and
make your own tailwind.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4427.
New Hormel plant site?
Locals acronymically
cry out, "SPAM? NIMBY!"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4428.
Car on the highway
Plates read "SPAM 5-7-5"
It's the SHAMobile

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4429.
Zen is paradox
At once I am SPAM but not
Understand this "meat"

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4430.
Forcefulness of SPAM
Violence to maintain peace
SPAM as martial art

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4431.
Prince of lies, this Beast
Mephistopheles my name
You know me as SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4432.
Thought to defame SPAM
Quickly now, speaking to SPAM
Obsequiously

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4433.
Saw SPAM in a bar
"You looking at my girl, man?"
I'll kick SPAM's ass, bro

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4434.
SPAM haiku is great
John Mitchell has too much time
At least he's funny

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4435.
I am not insane
SPAM haiku has true merit
I saw Bigfoot once

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4436.
Master of Puppets
Ride the Lightning, Kill 'em All
And Justice for SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4437.
Endless summer heat,
Waves rise up from the pavement,
And the SPAM sizzles.

--Michael Davis

4438.
The workers suffer
The mainframe came down last night
Programmers eat SPAM

--Michael Davis

4439.
Hunger gnaws my soul,
Pull-tab gone, SPAM trapped inside,
I weep bitter tears.

--roy@indy.net

4440.
SHAM thinks hard on SPAM
Is it love? Or is it hate?
SPAM is his reason

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4441.
I'm cruising the Strip
SPAM can hangs from my mirror
Hot babe next to me

--Charles Campos, camp7625@mailserv.edmonds.ctc.edu

4442.
Oh! What SPAM is this?
Abundantly beautiful!
Not for the eating.

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4443.
Give me a Can-O
Spam-O. Dear God it looks like
Pig-innards Jell-O!

--Steve Teffenhardt, Teffy68@aol.com

4444.
Ate every piece
Do not want to defecate
Keep it forever

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4445.
USA Network
Two-day SPAM-a-thon ensues
Out of CHiPs re-runs

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4446.
Evil embryo!
Taut membrane stifles escape.
Don't pull the flip tab.

--Whit Fisher, fisher@voyagerco.com

4447.
Japan in danger!
Spamera engulfs cities!
Mothra will save them.

--Whit Fisher, fisher@voyagerco.com

4448.
The day's icy dawn.
A winter looks for the spring
and the hue of SPAM.

--bchubb@dc.dynares.com

4449.
Got me a new car
Runnin' three hundred horses
Dual overhead SPAM

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4450.
Football starts this month
SPAM Franciso will go down
To Dallas again

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4451.
Devilfish: harmless.
Terror of the deepest sea.
Seven foot wing-SPAM.

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4452.
Sensing his need grow,
she knelt obediently
and opened the SPAM.

--Opie, 75201.77@compuserve.com

4453.
Love that salty taste
SPAM cutlets fried to a crisp
With mayo and toast

--Anonymous

4454.
A mouthful of SPAM
Elicits comparison
With sweaty gym socks

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4455.
SPAM--tasty pink meat,
A fulfilling lunchtime treat,
Pork buttholes and feet.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4456.
Michael Jordon flies
And dunks another two points;
Gotta be the SPAM.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4457.
Rescue in Holland:
Boy saves village from flood by
Plugging dike with SPAM.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4458.
Pan, magical Pan!
One half goat, other half SPAM.
Can you tell which half?

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4459.
Dutch friend says to me,
"Just Americans hate SPAM.
We eat it a lot."

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4460.
Windmills make sense now
Heineken, heroin, SPAM...
Gives you gas, I'm sure

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4461.
Want to lose ten pounds
Reading SPAM haiku for hours
Anorexia

--Anonymous

4462.
Hiss of op'ning can
This is the way the pig ends
Not with bang but slime

--Anonymous

4463.
2000 A.D.
SPAM found to cure all disease
Where have the pigs gone?

--cconner@eohsi.rutgers.edu

4464.
Je mange encore SPAM
Corps de gelee rose et graisse
Me fait degoutter

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4465.
J'achete le SPAM frais
Hache c'est pate d'cochon
L'hors d'oeuvre facile

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4466.
Filet de SPAM light
Gastronomical delight?
Intestinal fright!

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4467.
Do not go gently
Into that fresh can of SPAM--
Dig deep with gusto!

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4468.
mehitabel and
archie share a can of spam
dead roach on space bar...

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4469.
Roseanne opens SPAM
Conner Thanksgiving takes place
"Family Found Dead!"

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4470.
Sixteen hundred bucks
computer cpu and
monitor. For SPAM?

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4471.
No more SPAM haiku
Far too busy to read them
Wait...Inspiration!

--Travis Smith, nep@hop.com

4472.
May as well be spew
Overprocessed pig liver
One guess, YES, it's SPAM

--Zoe

4473.
Short pink wobbly meat
Salty in the seaside sun
Baywatch Spamela

--Anonymous

4474.
Kubrick? Yes, he is
Well suited for SPAM Haiku.
Like A Clockwork SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4475.
Korova MeatBar
Sold SPAM, sharps you up for the
Old ultra-pinkness.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4476.
And who can forget
The scene in The SPAMming where
Kid screams, "MAPS! MAPS! MAPS!"?

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4477.
When HAL refused to
Open lid, Dave fed it SPAM.
"My mind is going."

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4478.
"Slow down," she whispered,
now guiding my trembling hands,
"Turn the key slowly."

--mk@sonic.net

4479.
Hiker asks for MAPS.
Dyslexic clerk sells him SPAM.
Can't get there from here.

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

4480.
She eats SPAM today
She will eat SPAM tomorrow
SPAM gets her juicy

--Anonymous

4481.
The SHAM's Tasty Picks
Number 4 contains a bug.
Those damn italics!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4482.
On the Russian space
station Mir, they have no SPAM.
Can I go there, please?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4483.
Air conditioning
on the fritz? Don't sweat it: Put
cold SPAM on your head.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4484.
Jeremy Hudson
Did an assembly on SPAM
It was very good

--Arkadesh

4485.
Twelve pigs live on farm
Farmer makes a batch of SPAM
Still twelve pigs on farm

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4486.
Pam Dawber and Mork,
Pam Anderson on the beach:
PAMS better than SPAM

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4487.
Smoke alarm cooking
a drag? Spray the pan with Pam
to fry the SPAM, ma'am.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4488.
Jack Kevorkian
builds a machine that drips SPAM
into people's veins.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4489.
Microscopic life
found in Martian meteor.
But no food in SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4490.
"Think you used enough
dynamite there, Butch?" "No, there's
some SPAM left, Sundance."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4491.
Freddie Prinze starred in
the classic Seventies show
Chico and the SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4492.
Friends and co-workers
hear about this spamku stuff
and ask, "Are you nuts?!?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4493.
Vader grabs rebel
by the neck. "Where is the SPAM
you intercepted?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4494.
Luke Skywalker looks
for Obi-Wan; he's attacked
by the SPAM People.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4495.
Johnny Rotten sings
that, for pigs at Hormel, there's
"No future for you."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4496.
The Kama Sutra
features a SPAM chapter that's
sure to turn you off.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4497.
King Edward the Eighth
abdicated to pursue
his deep love of SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4498.
"Stop that creature! It's
stolen the Illudium
SPAM Modulator!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4499.
SPAM, how I love thee.
Let me count your fatty cells.
Fill me with your love.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com

4500.
Sweet SPAM dripping down,
pieces coming off my brain.
I wish I were you.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com