SPAM Haiku 5601-5700

Move backwards to Numbers 5501-5600.


5601.
The day will come that
All you can steal from the rich
Will only be SPAM
--Wild T.

5602.
Empty cans of death
The burning ruin of SPAM
Cry Humanity

--Wild T.

5603.
I have been so bad
Using SPAM to torture cats
Would someone spank me

--Wild T.

5604.
You cannot ignore
the call, because it is you
for whom the SPAM tolls!

--Wild T.

5605.
Cover your body
With slices of SPAM because
It can cure dry skin

--Wild T.

5606.
I must eat SPAM for
Medicinal purposes
Makes me take Prozac

--Wild T.

5607.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Madison Avenue calls
Increase sales of SPAM

--MSB (I'm ba-a-ack)

5608.
Busy at his desk
Pink globules smeared on his Schwantz
New brand awareness

--MSB

5609.
Hormel execs stress
Positive recognition
Tasty SPAM dishes

--MSB

5610.
New SPAM poster boy
"You can't show THAT on the cans!"
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

5611.
have some spam you man
eat your spam you fucking bitch!
really crass spamku

--Anonymous

5612.
No new Spamku, Cho?
Maybe you've kicked the monkey?
Or indigestion?

--paul handley, phand@inet.co.th

5613.
SPAM is state of mind
Neither in nor out of can
Mind is state of SPAM

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

5614.
Janie Applecheeks,
Collect your SPAM trivia
And leave now. You're fired!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

5615.
I do not eat SPAM
Alas my girlfriend used to
Then I killed her good

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5616.
Existentialists
They seek the meaning of life
I just stick to SPAM

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5617.
Ode to a SPAM can
It might be easy to write
But hard to swallow

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5618.
The metal SPAM can
The imposing Gatekeeper
I'm the Keymaster

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5619.
Something is rotten
It's in the state of Denmark
Oh it is just SPAM

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5620.
I really love SPAM
And so do all my neighbors
Apocalypse comes

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5621.
Wham bam thank you SPAM!
It's a hilarious joke
Play it again Sam

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

5622.
Pink meat by-product
Its gelatinous texture
Ruins appetites

--Sean Medlock

5623.
In Korean store
Must be TEN flavors of SPAM
Are these people NUTS??

--krink - Falls Gulch, VA

5624.
my spam is in heat
yowling like an alley cat
wanting a good fork

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

5625.
The morning sun is...
worthless--unless it can shine
upon a blue can.

--Anonymous

5626.
Tell you what I want
What I really really want
Quit writing SPAMku

--Anonymous

5627.
Originally
SPAM was intended to be
a sex lubricant

--Anonymous

5628.
Deep in SPAM HQ
Technicians research new food.
Results: SPOG, SPIRD, SPAT.

--Anonymous

5629.
Wild T, MSB,
Janie Applecheeks: three sad
Individuals.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.startus.com

5630.
At least I know that
SPAM is not a matter of
Life and death, oh no!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.startus.com

5631.
I'm here to tell you--
Yes indeed!--that it's much more
Serious than that!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.startus.com

5632.
My pants are still damp
Damp from having some nightmares
All from eating SPAM!!!!

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5633.
spamish cans chasing
me down dimly lit hallways
down into darkness

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5634.
running, running I
am running, running away
from the cans of spam

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5635.
chasing, chasing still
they're chasing, hunting me down
oh! the cans of spam

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5636.
the cans have reached me
and they're angry about me
eating spamburgers

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5637.
when they reach me I
wake up, sweating and thinking
"NO MORE SPAMBURGERS!!!"

--fartboy99, fartboy99@hotmail.com

5638.
Wild T. must love SPAM
Must have SPAM spouting from ass
Writes here all the time

--Jan van der Banck

5639.
Ode to you my SPAM
Surreal gelatinous goo
Spiced? My Ass! With what?

--Eric Kelley, eakelley@tasc.com

5640.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Taunting the evil blue can
DAMN DAMN DAMN you SPAM

--Ian

5641.
Flip the tab and ZIP!
Invert, squeeze, shake, and KERPLOP!
Anticipation

--Ted Lau, trlau@earthlink.com

5642.
door swings still open
coolness, thick slime on my spam
you leave me hungry

--GJR

5643.
Winter truncates day.
Its pale chill suspends all life.
SPAM remains, unchanged.

--K. Burton, shuckskbee@aol.com

5644.
"Form follows can," said
Walter Gropius during
lunch at the Bauhaus.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5645.
Pooh tires of honey.
Decides instead to try SPAM.
"Piglet! Is that you?"

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5646.
Gleaming edifice.
Bright sunlight plays upon your
pink porkitecture.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5647.
"Mom?" asked little pig,
"Will I become junk email?"
"No, the other SPAM."

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5648.
Death stalks 'round hogdom
condemning porcine souls to
small, stackable cans.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5649.
Sure, that Babe was cute,
but his box office fell off.
His next lead role: SPAM.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5650.
By railcar they come,
pink oinking victims to the
Hormel packing plant.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5651.
Can of SPAM looks up.
Contemplates an airliner.
Thinks, "It's just like me."

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5652.
From purgatory,
the souls of potted piglets
released by pop top.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5653.
Photon leaves the sun.
In ninety-three million miles
illuminates SPAM.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5654.
Mr. Douglas knew
to make SPAM he'd have to kill
that Arnold Ziffle.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5655.
Warhead arcs over
vegetarian country,
releasing SPAM MIRVs.

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5656.
Civilization
is measured by its cuisine.
What's that say 'bout us?

--Jim Leftwich, jleft@well.com

5657.
Lucifer has it
Tempting you downward with SPAM
Follow him eat it

--brad, austein6@compuserve.com

5658.
Examine the link
SPAM, American Culture
The Decline of Man

--Laura Contratti, lcontrat@bu.edu

5659.
Tries hard to be meat
Scorn of the snobbish high class
So close to paté

--Laura Contratti, lcontrat@bu.edu

5660.
putrid meat-like paste
what strange morsels doth I taste
pork not one drop waste

--Pressedham Doolap, docyoga@aol.com

5661.
Mere coincidence?
Shape of Borg ship and SPAM. Re-
sistance is futile.

--Darryl Hand

5662.
Colloidal pig parts
Drunken frogs did feast upon
Lily pads of meat

--Bonnie, IggySuePea@aol.com

5663.
You're never lonely
when you have a can of SPAM.
You just wish you were.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

5664.
I spy with my eye
something that begins with an
"S." It is greasy.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

5665.
It is pink, and in
a steel can and is made of
eyes that spy on me.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

5666.
meat gets hard when old
oh how exciting, but wait....
with SPAM, LICK YOUR PLATE

--Anonymous

5667.
i feel so wacky
submitting a spam haiku
my name is debbie

--debbie

5668.
cyclic flavor, prose:
the taste of spam and haiku
it's so bad it's good

--kevan l moore, kevan@traveller.com

5669.
subversive meat mound
apocalyptic discourse
sitting in a can

--Anonymous

5670.
voluptuous pink
slimy like a natto bean
sprawling on my plate

--Anonymous

5671.
chew and chew and chew
chew and chew and chew and chew
chew and chew, swallow

--Anonymous

5672.
my friend debbie said
i'd make it as cheerleader
if I wrote spamku

--brenda

5673.
oh my god spamku!
this is like totally wild
like a pep rally

--tina

5674.
i'm a cheerleader
dance around a keg of beer
my soul's made of spam

--rhonda

5675.
i feel so wacky
this spamku thing is zany
someone please shoot me

--debbie & tina

5676.
This is SPAM heaven
It is blasphemy to say
Eat Spaghetti O's

--Pope SPAM I

5677.
Pope SPAM has decreed
Unwashed masses eat your SPAM
You must see the light

--Pope SPAM I

5678.
Bane of the Chinese
SPAM lo-mein: most will recoil
Secretly my fave

--Samina/Mike/Chris, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

5679.
Woke in a cold sweat
SPAM is not where I left it
Cat's hair balls are pink

--Samina/Mike/Chris, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

5680.
Pinky pink pink SPAM
Winky wink wink not quite ham
Here pussy, pussy...

--Samina/Mike/Chris, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

5681.
"Wow, what a nice place!"
"Hope so, heard they charge fifty
bucks for SPAM flambé!"

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5682.
Health warning label:
"SPAM may cause insanity
taken in excess."

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5683.
Forrest Gump's new quote:
"Life is like a slice of SPAM...
don't know what's in it..."

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5684.
SPAM is dark, evil...
It's the other side of yang...
Truly keeps balance...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5685.
SPAM exists as God
To the tribes of Amazons.
Rightfully worshipped.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5686.
My dog ate SPAM once
And then its head exploded!
Fright'ning meat it is...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5687.
It's the perfect gift!
A large chunk of SPAM, wrapped up
And called a "yule log."

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

5688.
Had Proust eaten SPAM
instead of tea and cakes, no
things past remembered.

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

5689.
Another evening
Turns to sunrise: smokes and SPAM
What is loneliness?

--maX, max@raptor.slc.edu

5690.
India--China
Animal To vat, again?
Better travel light.

--maX, max@raptor.slc.edu

5691.
He bends slowly down
Regarding the still chunk there
Sticks fork deep in flesh

--maX, max@raptor.slc.edu

5692.
My lover left it
Unopened and in the fridge
Why cool that tin can?

--maX, max@raptor.slc.edu

5693.
Shoulder pork and ham?
Guess elusive origins.
Tasty, pinkish prize!

--Kerry Patton, Patton27@aol.com

5694.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM I am
Wish I had green eggs and ham
Look, it's SPAM! Oh, man!

--Spam I Am, m_clough@hotmail.com

5695.
Hormel makes me SPAM.
I eat Hormel's processed meat.
There is much rejoice.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5696.
King of the Britons,
King Arthur, eats lots of SPAM.
He kills the Black Knight.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5697.
You don't vote for kings.
I am king because I'm smart.
You should eat SPAM too.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5698.
The Castle Anthrax.
The SPAM shaped beacon is lit.
And now, oral sex.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5699.
We are the knights who
Do say "SPAM" instead of "nee."
Bring us shrubbery.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5700.
Reason to be good:
You know what Santa gives to
The bad boys and girls?

--maia the wonderlemur


Move forwards to Numbers 5701-5800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.