5701.
If you had to choose,
Which would you eliminate?
SPAM, or Olsen twins?
--maia the wonderlemur
5702.
I can laugh at you.
You've all been traumatized. I've
Never tasted SPAM.
--maia the wonderlemur
5703.
Smear the SPAM on me
Damn, this shit be tastin' GOOD
Big tsunami pie
--Anonymous
5704.
I don't eat much SPAM
I'd rather eat tuna fish
Nope just don't like SPAM
--Anonymous
5705.
SPAM is good on goats
Make me eat your hot SPAM now
SPAM's out of season
--Anonymous
5706.
No mo' OJ SPAM
Beat THIS you SPAM eater, you
The rain in SPAM falls...
--Anonymous
5707.
canoes pulled ashore,
the campfire crackles with pine:
spamburgers deluxe.
--Baird Brown, bairdbrown@aol.com
5708.
he drinks champagne from
slippers, fondles underwear,
and collects blue cans.
--Baird Brown, bairdbrown@aol.com
5709.
swine herd at crossing,
heedless onrushing engine:
pâté de pork gras.
--Baird Brown, bairdbrown@aol.com
5710.
flame of one candle,
simple bottle of merlot,
spam for two and thou.
--Baird Brown, bairdbrown@aol.com
5711.
endless pounds of pink;
this is no carbo loading
but a spamathon.
--Baird Brown, bairdbrown@aol.com
5712.
I have eaten all
The spam in the house. There is
No more, Godspammit!!
--Josiah Drewry, LArdnugget@aol.com
5713.
The prince of all pigs
Gussied up in tuxedo
Looking quite spamsome.
--Josiah Drewry, LArdnugget@aol.com
5714.
gelatinous cube
quivering beneath your tin
you smell like my dad
--Anonymous
5715.
Regal pork product
Seductive lump of gristle
White trash pancetta
--Anonymous
5716.
Yummy processed SPAM
It comes in a large square can
It's great on crackers
--David M. Johnston, dmj@nun.oit.unc.edu
5717.
I have seen the pork
of my generation howl
pink into the can.
--Russell
5718.
Count Dracula tastes
his first bite of SPAM--too bad
he's already dead.
--Aaron
5719.
New sister-in-law
She's a vegetarian
Yet doesn't like SPAM
--Russell
5720.
Never tried the stuff
(I can't stand ham anyway)
Leave it in the tin!
--Russell
5721.
Homer Simpson likes
To have his SPAM with jelly
Marge and Lisa groan
--Russell
5722.
Send the SHAM SPAMku
Wrapped up in yellow and blue
Don't forget the key
--Russell
5723.
Lovely wet pink sludge
Roasting in the rusty pan
No longer hungry
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5724.
What is this substance?
Studied for years in secret
No, not of this earth
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5725.
Awful dilemma
Menu choices, hair, poo, SPAM
I will choose slow death
--Dave Rosenstock, rosend@worldnet.att.net
5726.
With a subtle thud
After falling through clean space
The slab touches steel
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5727.
Turn the little key
The aroma is now here
Quick, throw it away
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5728.
Wander through mean streets
Seeking the gel and meat slab
Never stop, never
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5729.
Weeks undiscovered
Hidden in the VCR
No movies, bad smell
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5730.
Sizzling in the pan
No genuine affection
Attempting suicide
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5731.
Ingot of pink gold
So pure in its intentions
Good taste never pledged
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5732.
Thinly sliced pleasure
Some do not agree with me
Prefer enema
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5733.
In post-SPAM twilight
Chanting intestinal dirge
Summoning pink dung
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5734.
To the winner, life
For second place, there is death
Third place must eat SPAM
--John Frendreiss, 74544.3552@compuserve.com
5735.
I consume much SPAM
Where do you buy pants so vast?
Big and Tall men's store
--Anonymous
5736.
Constipation looms
Eating innards blocks my own
Metamucil saves
--Anonymous
5737.
I love SPAM jelly
It gooshes in my fingers
Oh SPAM I love thee!!!!!!!
--Anonymous
5738.
A new flavor SPAM
Because it's red and hairy
Tickle Elmo SPAM
--Anonymous
5739.
Beavis and Butthead
Do America. Still, they
Shun Minnesota.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5740.
"Only the finest
Pork byproducts in this loaf..."
"Huh huh. He said 'loaf.'"
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5741.
"Bunghole! I am the
Great SPAMholio! I need
TP...lots of it!"
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5742.
Relatives all gave
Me food packs with processed ham.
Damn them all to hell.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5743.
Ate my Christmas SPAM.
All of it. On Jan. 6, had
An Epiphany.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5744.
In New Orleans, for
Carnival, Bouef Gras. SPAM Gras
In Minnesota.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
5745.
Brain waves go berserk
4 AM and wide awake
SPAMKU addiction
--Eye
5746.
SPAM comes creeping up
when you expect it the least
like, during a kiss.
--Eye
5747.
"Lardass! Pig head! Boar!"
"SPAM!" gives the art of insult
a whole new meaning.
--Eye
5748.
Ruptured aneurysm?
"You'll NEVER be a surgeon!
Colon full of SPAM!"
--Eye
5749.
The fridge door opens,
meows of anticipation:
shit, she's eating SPAM!
--Eye
5750.
I'm the Queen of SPAM:
Seductive sow, rubber tits.
Take out your dentures!
--Eye
5751.
If the Challenger
had O-rings made out of SPAM
no one would have died.
--Eye
5752.
Wolfing down some SPAM--
Good thing I turned off my cam.
CUSeeMe? NOT!
--Eye
5753.
Bristle on my tongue
Shredded piglet in a can
Good as beetle dung
--Eye
5754.
"You would have swallowed
if you had really loved me."
She left him for SPAM.
--Eye
5755.
Energizer SPAM
It keeps coming and coming
till the juice is gone.
--Eye
5756.
SPAMKU come in spurts
Colonize my brain at night
Hot pink fantasies
--Eye
5757.
Metamorphosis:
Bite by bite I am transformed--
I've become pure SPAM.
--Eye
5758.
Aliens visit:
X-Files were right all along.
The SPAM is out there.
--Eye
5759.
Grab it! It feels good.
Mmm! Mmm! Finger-lickin' good...
(Hope no one saw that.)
--Eye
5760.
Come here, BooBoo, come!
Mommy's got good SPAM for you!
No claws! BAD kitty!
--Eye
5761.
He stared at her tits
and she knew he'd be cheating--
hot SPAM on his mind.
--Eye
5762.
Pink introduction
to disgust and seduction
and...liposuction.
--Eye
5763.
This ol' student's life:
money for the basic needs,
textbooks, beer, and SPAM.
--Eye
5764.
Alcohol or SPAM?
Fatty snouts, fatty liver--
the choice is easy.
--Eye
5765.
Baby, SPAM of mine
hey spamma-lamma-ding-dong
will you be my SPAM?
--Eye
5766.
Inspamnia reigns
I'll be dead MEAT tomorrow
Tired SPAM, fired I am...
--Eye
5767.
The best things in life
come in a can: beer and SPAM,
my boyfriend...sometimes.
--Eye
5768.
Will you buy me SPAM?
Will you love me forever?
SPAM by dashboard light.
--Eye
5769.
Ladies, quit nagging,
SPAM is better than a man!
Bite-size, no gagging.
--Eye
5770.
May I lick your meat?
You're addictive, you're so sweet,
Pink spot on the sheet.
--Eye
5771.
Bits and bytes, beware:
there's a virus in my SPAM.
GOOD TIMES in a can.
--Eye
5772.
SPAM gives me the blues,
SPAM gave you a fatty soul.
Use the cans for shoes.
--Eye
5773.
Friend of mine asked me
while slowly shaking his head:
Don't you have a LIFE ?
--Eye
5774.
How can you be sure
you don't repeat a SPAMKU?
Read all six thousand...
--Eye
5775.
My name REALLY sucks:
"Hammered Virgin" anagram,
SPAM turned into HAM.
--Ingrid Verhamme, iverham@CRL.COM
5776.
SPAM's a tasty treat
It's the famous mist'ry meat
It is good to eat
--Eh Canadian
5777.
"What's on the menu?"
"SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, sausage, and SPAM."
"I do not like SPAM."
--Eh Canadian
5778.
Beneath the gnarled tree,
The shaman scowls at the SPAM--
Curse the white devils!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5779.
I finished the SPAM
Last night, and today I feel
Pigs' eyes upon me.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5780.
Moving in, we saw
A can of SPAM lodged behind
The self-cleaning stove.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5781.
SPAM whipped with egg yolks:
Hormel calls it "Spayonaise"
But no one buys it.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5782.
Curious white dots
Are sprinkled like confetti
In a pork parade
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5783.
SPAM smells so sexy.
A little behind the ears,
And I can date cops.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5784.
In blue Hawaii,
Friends had SPAM sushi, no lie.
Paradise indeed!
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5785.
A salty pink sphinx
An edible enigma
Riddled with questions
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5786.
In a dark alley,
A kitten's first taste of SPAM.
Now it has eight lives.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5787.
A SPAM teddy bear
Brings the baby no comfort
And makes the crib smell.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5788.
The crackle of SPAM:
An electrifying sound,
Like prods on piglets.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5789.
Breakfast with O.J.
SPAM slices quiver and fall.
An evil laughter.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5790.
If pigs have no arms,
How is SPAM made from shoulders?
I want an answer.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
5791.
I got some e-mail
That had been cross-posted to--
What? Oops, wrong archive.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5792.
The man on the street
Interview: "SPAM? It's meat, right?
Now leave me alone."
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5793.
Five, seven, and five
Are not enough to capture
The essence of SPAM.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5794.
You'll never see a
Celebrity endorsement
For SPAM. They're ashamed.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
5795.
Pig lips and anus
Delectable on my plate
I am ecstatic!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Phil, phi@raptor.slc.edu
5796.
People live and die
Hormel makes immortal meat
SPAM springs eternal
--Jan van der Banck
5797.
Do not taunt the SPAM
SPAM is our most trusted friend
Eat it on a roll
--Meagan Neary
5798.
Samson had no hair
Pulled the temple pillars down
Got his strength from SPAM
--Pope Spam I
5799.
The fuzzy pink meat
It's horrendous oozing flesh
Where's my pet weasel??
--Jordan Lighthart
5800.
k. d. lang and SPAM
obvious intestinal
hatred shall they meet?
--Pressed ham