SPAM Haiku 8501-8600

Move backwards to Numbers 8401-8500.

8501.
I knew there was ham
Didn't know there was chicken
My love grows stronger

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8502.
Pink, yellow, and blue
The new colors of my car
SPAM logo on hood

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8503.
A flame on the side,
right under the pink delight.
You think I'm kidding?

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8504.
My own can of SPAM
Locked inside its tin prison
I must open it

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8505.
BE FREE, my dear SPAM
Make this world your own...oh, no!
Now I'm all alone

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8506.
I do have a life,
but there's always some time for
Spamku from my heart.

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8507.
SPAM is like Muzak:
It's a poor man's substitute.
Nauseating. Canned.

--Peter Berman

8508.
Hast thou sinned with beef?
Get thee to a SPAMmery.
Go go go go go!

--Peter Berman

8509.
Chariots of SPAM,
The SPAMglish Patient ... SPAM does
well on Oscar night.

--Peter Berman

8510.
Location of SPAM:
Is it in a blue tin, or
Is it in the mind?

--Peter Berman

8511.
Porcine glands; rectums
Ears, nodes, and snout are combined
Is this food? No, SPAM

--Anonymous

8512.
SPAM SPAM SPAM I Am
So hungry for SPAM am I
My SPAM-less mouth cries

--D-Money

8513.
Only a small can
But in my eyes it is grand
(What do I mean?) SPAM

--D-Money

8514.
Take a break this day
Eat a great big SPAM soufflé
Then get really sick

--D-Money

8515.
Start planning a meal
Several people are mad
Say prayers and munch

--D-Money

8516.
My mouth waters as
I open the can to scarf
the glistening mass.

--Anonymous

8517.
The trouble with SPAM
It is neither cow nor lamb
It just ain't kosher

--David Collins

8518.
Sunset pink 'gainst blue
Florid bloom in morning dew
SPAM in a blue can

--David Collins

8519.
Stop wasting your time
reading these useless SPAMku
and get back to work.

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

8520.
Memories of SPAM
evoke a sense of wellness
like after puking.

--Larry Moo, larryg@ziplink.net

8521.
Some prefer olives.
Others, a twist of lemon.
For me? Spamtini!

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8522.
In a heart-shaped box,
the tender romance of SPAM.
My sweet Valentine.

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8523.
SPAM with teeth and claws
pursue me in my nightmares.
I wake drenched with sweat.

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8524.
SPAM on a long stick.
Fireplace flames licking like tongues.
Shadows on the wall.

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8525.
The scent of eggnog.
Cubes of SPAM hung from the tree.
Christmas time is here!

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8526.
Garden of Eden.
Apple: the fruit forbidden.
What if it was SPAM?

--Jeff Jetton, jeffjetton@aol.com

8527.
joyous can of swine
happy shining piggy parts
wallowing in snot

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8528.
SPAM is SPartan hAM.
Food for the warrior Greeks.
No more Sparta now.

--Anonymous

8529.
Hormel calls Muppet
Spa'am "Evil in porcine form":
Pot calls kettle black.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8530.
If Warhol had been
Cubist, would he have painted
A SPAM can, instead?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8531.
Some folks think SPAM stands
for "Sexual Perversion
And Masturbation."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8532.
Acronym Corner:
A can of SPAM contains a
Gorgeous Loaf Of Pork.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8533.
SPAM, IT'S VERY PINK
DAMN!!!! IT FEELS GOOD IN MY TOES
I'VE BUILT A SPAM SHRINE

--Ser God

8534.
I AM THE SPAM GOD
SPAM IS A HIGHER LIFE FORM
WORTHY OF RESPECT

--Ser God, YUPPIEE@JUNO.COM

8535.
SPAM slid from my Plate
fell into the litter box
brushed off and ate IT

--The Queen Of Green

8536.
Salvador Dali
His paintings were so deranged
See what SPAM can do?

--YesI'llhaveanotherslice

8537.
Oh marvelous pink
Like nothing I've ever seen.
Enough! Down the hatch.

--Marc Robinson, marc@kcnet.com

8538.
Broken and hopeless.
Dreams are but a memory.
SPAM for lunch today.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8539.
Some will not eat SPAM
while others do. Could this be
what wise men ponder?

--Mark Axton, maxton@pixar.com

8540.
SPAM spread on a Ritz
Big party, starve snobs, leave more
For us, real people

--Declan McManus

8541.
Gift from outer space
SPAM, alien food myst'ry.
The truth is out there.

--Declan McManus

8542.
Lite friends see pink pork.
Cognoscenti know it is
The other white meat.

--Declan McManus

8543.
I am SPAMICUS
I have never tasted it
But I like the name

--Spamicus

8544.
Who could have known it,
On the day of the big bang,
That SPAM would arise?

--D Collins, dcollins@sd.znet.com

8545.
somewhere gloomily
a rusty knife scrapes the can
for the last SPAM chunks

--mike geraty

8546.
Can you help me SHAM?
I'm looking for a Seuss book
It's Green Eggs and SPAM

--Alex Sugahara, Alex.Sugahara@Waterloo.NCR.com

8547.
I did not like SPAM
But that was one week ago
Now I have no choice

--Anonymous

8548.
In the doctor's lab
I arose from the test tube
Product of SPAM genes

--WIlliam Kirk, wkirk00@mail.fc.peachnet.edu

8549.
Solitary SPAM
Lives in the cupboards of fish
Eating nervous goats

--Martin Tickle

8550.
Small, blue schoolchildren
Are unable to eat SPAM
Disappointingly

--Martin Tickle

8551.
SPAM is dangerous
When fired from a small cannon
So eat it instead

--Martin Tickle

8552.
Oh, a tragedy
Amputation is required
To repair the SPAM

--Martin Tickle

8553.
Choking on some SPAM
Is suprisingly foolish
Even for giraffes

--Martin Tickle

8554.
Bizarre SPAM fetish
Is a pop group from Sweden
Rather like ABBA

--Martin Tickle

8555.
The SPAM has arrived
Oh no, it was just a dream
Let me sleep again

--Martin Tickle

8556.
Poor Sonny Bono
Skiing through a SPAM forest
Yeah, it got you, babe

--Cher, Cher@heavenly.com

8557.
Michael Kennedy,
Pass the SPAM you idiot!
OUCH! That's gotta hurt.

--Ted, TK@shooters.com

8558.
poor, poor hillary
tied to a hunk of fried spam:
irresistible

--james, simply james

8559.
Forgotten blue can,
Here behind the year-old peas;
Ah! SPAM al dente!

--Anonymous

8560.
Yes, I can prove it!
Kids in Africa aren't starved...
They refused my SPAM!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8561.
My mouth will not chew,
I have swallowed my last bite.
Tragic SPAM O.D.

--Ben Tallen, btallen@earthling.net

8562.
The bed sheets are cold,
The pig next to me is warm.
Too much SPAM last night.

--Ben Tallen, btallen@earthling.net

8563.
Texture of a slug;
Color of insulation;
Why am I hungry?

--james, simply james

8564.
Smelly pink substance.
Walking across the kitchen.
Stupid mutant SPAM!

--Anonymous

8565.
Pink gelatinous
Mass; oddly familiar thing
Not meat, but more shoe

--WildKat

8566.
Memo to Clinton
Keep it in a can of SPAM
Dead pigs tell no tales

--mike geraty

8567.
Acronym Corner:
SPAM's Completely Rapturous,
Utterly Dreamy.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8568.
1945:
Hitler offers Eva Braun
The first slice of SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8569.
If I see that "Green
Eggs" pun one more time, The Cat
In The Hat gets it...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8570.
They say "One man's meat
Is another man's poison.":
Same difference with SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8571.
meat, or not a meat
forever is the question
noble it is not

--draemr, spam@draemr.com

8572.
solstice poverty
absent muse, turgid sweetness
once into my mouth

--draemr, spam@draemr.com

8573.
SPAM is nirvana;
Gelatinous nothingness;
Porcine paradise.

--Brent Stevens, brentrs@hotmail.com

8574.
Calmly awaiting
All encompassing madness
Foolishly dubbed "spam"

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8575.
If you understand
My silence, you can perhaps
Understand my SPAM

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8576.
The dark destroyer
Stalking weak unaware prey
Evil, SPAM thy name

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8577.
A lonely weasel
Foraging for angry souls
And a can of SPAM

--jeremy sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8578.
The callous beaver
Biting the tree of wisdom
Taste infinite SPAM

--jeremy sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8579.
Forshadowing death
I open the cabinet
Just SPAM consumes me

--Brent Stevens, brentrs@hotmail.com

8580.
A wise fool old man
Speaking the sweet tongue of SPAM
Sits, ponders, and weeps.

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8581.
Years of dried in SPAM
Grease causes Dilbert's tie to
Curl up in the air.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8582.
Dilbert's boss uses
The messy gloop from a SPAM
Can to gel his hair.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8583.
Dilbert's friend Wally
Uses SPAM for self-abuse--
That's why he wears specs.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8584.
There's Dogbert, Ratbert,
Catbert; why doesn't Dilbert
Have a pig? SPAMbert!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8585.
SPAM for dinner: down
In the dumps--dyspepsia
And diarrhea.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8586.
The life of SPAM sucks
As a chicken, pig, or duck
All you are is muck

--Astar, astar_b@hotmail.com

8587.
The great Beatles sang
I want to hold your hand, but
There was no SPAM then.

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8588.
Ponderously slow
The SPAM crept from the hot ash
Reborn, a phoenix

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8589.
I buy SPAM to learn
Some people buy it to eat
What is wrong with them?

--Uncle Jay

8590.
Refrigerators
Each one contains cans of SPAM
A cool wave of flesh

--Uncle Jay

8591.
"It's not who you know,
it is how much SPAM you own,"
my wise uncle said.

--Uncle Jay

8592.
I passed by road kill
Hot tears welled up in my eyes
"Next time take the SPAM!"

--Uncle Jay

8593.
SPAM had a complex
Depressed, it threatened to jump
But we talked it down

--Uncle Jay

8594.
"What is an orgasm?"
Mom pulled SPAM out of the can
To explain the sound

--Uncle Jay

8595.
Healthy? Not a chance.
Nourishing? I don't think so.
Delicious? No way.

--Uncle Jay

8596.
Why are you so pale?
Why are your eyes watery?
Did you just eat SPAM?

--Uncle Jay

8597.
Once upon a time
A wolf ate three little pigs
He got sick of SPAM

--Uncle Jay

8598.
"Hey buddy," he said,
"Spare a dime?" I gave him SPAM.
Next day he was dead.

--Uncle Jay

8599.
What use is a tongue
To differentiate tastes
If you consume SPAM?

--Uncle Jay

8600.
I remember youth
We made phones out of SPAM cans
I don't hear so well

--Uncle Jay