NEW! Magic the Gathering Amber Expansion Set

Ok, so I had a bit too much free time recently. Nevertheless, I'm pround the announce "Magic: The Gathering"'s new Amber expansion set. (This may not be as funny if you aren't familiar with that card game).

I wouldn't put too much faith in what you see here, but it amused me. Special bonus prize to whoever can guess the most of the [censored] bits.

These are probably unbalanced internally and externally, and break several conventions, in addition to being unfair to some of the entities represented -- satire was more the goal than clear translation.

But it's funny...

Special note for those familiar with Magic but not this notation: 4R means 4 colorless and 1 Red mana. BB means two black mana. BU means one black and one blue mana. X means x colorless mana. T indicates tapping is required.

Legends

Dalamar 

3UURR
Summon Legend
4/5
2RU: +1/+1, Flying, or invisibility until end of turn
RRU, T: Summon a 1/1 red and blue token creature, or give one
     one of the following permanantly: +1/+0, +0/+1, Flight.
X,T: Add up to XUR to your mana pool; this mana may only be used to
     cast a single permanent costing no more than XUR.

Felicia

3UUWW
Summon Legend
2/3
T: Tap or untap any creature.
U,T: Felicia may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.

Katarina 

3RWWW
Summon Legend
5/5
WW,T: Katarina may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.
Katarina is not affected by first strike while untapped.  Katarina
has Protection from Blue while tapped.

Keverian 

3GGWW
Summon Legend
6/5, First Strike
WW,T: Keverian may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.

Martin 

3BUWW
Summon Legend
5/4, First Strike
WW,T: Martin may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.
BB,T: Bury target tapped creature.

Merlin

3RUUW
Summon Legend
2/3
RR: +0/+1
5, T: Draw three cards and immediately discard two of them (your choice).
2, T: Merlin may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.
T: Add up to WRU to your mana pool; this must be used to summon a creature
   or artifact costing no more than WRU.



Mikele


3RRWW
Summon Legend
3/4, Flying
RR: +0/+1
RR, T: Mikele may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.
T: Add up to WRG to your mana pool; this must be used to summon a creature
   or artifact costing no more than WRG.




 Nikrowd 


4UUU
Summon Legend
3/2
2U: +1/+1
UUU,T: Change target of a spell as it is being cast.




Torquil


4UUW
Summon Legend
2/3
2,T: Torquil may not be targeted by fast effects until end of turn.
T: Target creature loses all special abilities until end of turn.
T: Exchange Torquil and another creature you control.  This does
   change the target of interrupted effects, and can be used in
   combat before damage-dealing.







Lands



Arbaelle


Forest
T: Add G to your mana pool.
[censored] gains +0/+2 while Arbaelle is in play and untapped.
Arbaelle does not count as a forest for purposes of forestwalk.




[censored]


Land
[censored] enters play as a basic land of controller's choice.
1: Change [censored] into a different basic land type.
You may tap [censored] at any time when tapping [censored] would 
normally be required instead, and vice versa.




[censored]


Forest
T: Add G to your mana pool.
T: Remove target creatures you control, which must include [censored], 
   from play until [censored] is untapped.  You may choose not 
   to untap [censored] during your upkeep phase.




[censored]


Island
T: Add U to your mana pool.
T: Remove target creatures you control, which must include [censored], 
   from play until [censored] is untapped.  You may choose not to 
   untap [censored] during your upkeep phase.




[censored]


Plains
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Remove target creatures you control, which must include [censored]
   or [censored], from play until [censored] is untapped.  You may
   choose not to untap [censored] during your upkeep phase.



[censored]

Land
T: Add 2 to your mana pool.
T: Remove target creatures you control, which must include [censored]
   or [censored], from play until [censored] is untapped.  You may
   choose not to untap [censored] during your upkeep phase.







Red



Callidora


2R
Summon Chaos Creature
N/1+N, Flying
Put a counter on Callidora during your upkeep; N is the number of
counters/3, discarding fractions.  If unblocked, she does damage
to a creature of your choice rather than your opponent.




Illidor


2RR
Summon Chaos Creature
1/2, Flying, Bands with Mikele
Any creatures blocking or blocked by Illidor lose first strike until the
end of the turn.




Hellmaid



1RR
Summon Hellmaid
2/1, First Strike

Lintra

3RRR
Summon Hellmaid
6/3, First strike
While Lintra is in play, all Hellmaids gain the ability "Bands with
other Hellmaids."

[censored]

6RRR
Summon Lord of Chaos
6/7, Flying
RR: Regenerates

White Creatures

Steadfast

3WW
Summon Warhorse
3/3, Bands with Katarina, Mountainwalk
Any creatures banded with Steadfast gain mountainwalk until end of turn.

[censored]

3WW
Summon [censored]
5/3, Bands with [censored]
Must band with [censored] if possible.

Blue

Rack Guard

UU
Enchantment
While rack guard is in play, any spells which would cause its controller
to discard cards are automatically countered.

Spell Guard

UU
Enchantment Enchantment
Target enchantment cannot be targeted while spell guard is in play.

[censored]

XXUU
Enchantment
X target creatures of power no greater than 1 gain +1/+1 while this
enchantment remains in play.  Pay X during your upkeep or discard this
enchantment.  Target creatures are blue while this enchantment remains
in play.
[censored] 
3UUU
Summon, um, whatever.
0/2
T: Remove target creature from combat; it neither deals nor receives damage.

Green

[censored]

3G
Summon, um, whatever.
3/2, Forestwalk
May only be summoned if [censored] is already in play.
T: Target creature is tapped unless its controller pays 2.

Black

[censored]

2BB
Summon, yeah, that.
2/2
BUU: Invisibility until end of turn.
[UNICORN] [TARA]