Some Selected[1] Quotations

Torquil [Cael]: My laser was blue-green.

Torquil: I am a great and powerful sorceror.

Keverian [Eon]: I didn't quite know what to make of it: Is this a combat? Is this a date?

Merlin: Ssh. We're pretending to be diplomats, remember?
Mikele [Kate]: Oh. Right.

Reena, to Keverian when he found her naked and in his bed: I just thought I'd make the offer.

Felicia [Susie]: (Comment on Reena, above) How tacky.

Nikrowd [Dave]: (Comment after a spectacular encounter with a Pattern) Ah! So that's what the mace as the pivot [in the trump scry] meant!

Felicia, to Reena: You looked better as a brunette.

Mikele: Then I tried to parry...
Keverian: Ooh, big mistake. Never parry a dragon, always dodge.
Mikele: Yes, thanks, I worked that out.

Dalamar [Frank], to Felicia: Next time you decide to open a trump gate between two different Patterns please don't do it in the same shadow as me.

Katarina [Charles]: Excuse me please, I'm afraid I have to go kill Liesl now. Keverian, my troops will follow your orders.

Deirdre's ghost: Tell Torquil I'll be thinking of him, and that Sand sends her greetings.

Dalamar: What have you done with the real Felicia?
Mary: Dalamar, you're adorable.
Frank: I am adorable. It's about time somebody realized that.

Felicia: She says you have three options: she can kill you, mind wipe you, or lock you up forever.
Dalamar: Actually, I'm not in favor of any of those.

Dalamar: I wouldn't bet a conjured dollar on that.

Felicia: That's it. I'm never rescuing anybody again.

Nikrowd, to the Guardsman come to arrest him: Did you bring the mail?

Finndo's Captain of the Guard: You'll come with me now.
Mikele: No.
Captain: I'm authorized to perform executions on the spot if you don't comply.
Mikele: I'll make a note of that.

Finndo: Surrender.
Katarina: On what terms?
Finndo: I don't see how that matters.
Katarina: It matters. If you're going to string me up in town square in an hour, I'd rather die here.

Finndo: Since you're not being cooperative, I'm going to shoot you now.

Illidor: So what were you two talking about?
Mikele: I'm not sure, but I think it went well.

Random: I may not win, but neither will he. It'll be another big mess... Jewels of Judgement in the Abyss, the whole nine yards.
Charles: See, and you all think Random is the nice one.

Random, to Alexander: So you have a sister, do you? I have lots of brothers and that's been my big problem.

Nikrowd: He was dressed like a man in black, but that can't be because I'm pretty sure the last two of them commited ritual suicide on my doorstep a couple of weeks ago...
Mikele: You have a very, ah, colorful life.

Keverian: He probably lies even when he's talking in his sleep.

Keverian: I still think we should torture him a little. We don't have to ask him any questions, just torture him. He's too smug.

Torquil: It's very unfortunate. When I finally do tell the truth no one believes me.

Torquil: Why is it that no one remembers all the times I passed up an opportunity for personal power in favor of the general good?
Everyone else: What times?

Dalamar [rif]: You really think we should give that to him? He's crazy.
Torquil: No, he has contempt for you. That's not the same thing.

Charles/Katarina: I backhand Delwin to make sure he's unconscious, then check to see if he's still alive.
Cael/Torquil: Wow, why don't Katarina and I get along better?
Everyone else: Because she hates you.
Cael/Torquil: What's that got to do with anything?

GM: Poor Torquil, he's so misunderstood.

rif: Dalamar looks around the room for attractive young women...
GM: Well there are a bunch over...
rif:...who look like they're teribbly impressed with his tux.
GM: ..never mind.

Dalamar: Finally, someone who appreciates my tux!
GM: Uh, no.

Mikele: This isn't a party; it's a deathtrap and you're all going. Willingly.
Susie: Of course we go: We're PCs. We're supposed to be stupid.

Felicia: That's it. I'm never rescuing anybody again.

Kate: No, Charles, the correct response to `I'm so doomed.' is not `You ARE.'

Dara, to Mikele: No, he talks to me even less than Merlin does. Sort of like you.

Mikele: Congratulations, you've been demoted.
Merlin: Keep up the good work.

Kate: ...sort of like that last conversation between Sheridan and Kosh, and I don't get to be Kosh.
Cael: You know, that really sums up all my problems in Amber. Torquil doesn't get to be Kosh enough.

Dave: You have a choice: you can sit over here with the not-doomed people or on that side of the room with the doomed people.
rif: Why don't I start right here in the middle?
Kate: Hey, I'm not doomed yet!
Charles: Sure you are.

rif: No, that's no good at all. Why don't I move into the doomed section now?

rif: I wore that?[2] I must have been out of my mind.

Kate: It's really a great pity Mikele isn't a bad guy.
rif: Why?
Kate: Things would be so much simpler right now.
rif: Yeah, things would be simpler for Dalamar if he were a bad guy.
Cael: Things would be a lot simpler for Torquil too if he were a bad guy.
rif (confused): Torquil is a bad guy.

Cael: So how about my great plans: A, B, and C?
GM: A doesn't work; B isn't an issue; and C is irrelevant.

rif:What is my head doing by the way?

Cael: Torquil is so misunderstood.

Cael: Sure, Mary's competant. So's a nuclear bomb. I don't consider either one my friend.

Mandor: I've always thought Katarina should have been a Hendrake.

Merlin, to an injured Mikele: Mikele! [Shakes his head with an exaggerated thoughtful, mournful look.] Perhaps Martin ought to see that you stay pregnant as much as possible...

Katarina, opening a conversation with Mikele: Hello. Are you Empress yet?

Mikele: Explain to me again why we bother to have succession rules?
Chaosite: I'm told that normally everything works just fine.

Chaosite: I understand Reynard's repsonse to the request that he come allow Imperial Security to place him in one of their safe houses was something along the lines of "I'd rather stick my head in an oven."

rif: I should be fired and beheaded for this.

Dalamar: Do you know where Felicia is?
Mikele: No. Some shadow of Torquil's last I heard.
Dalamar: Felicia's been kidnapped.
Mikele: What?

Mikele: Felicia's been kidnapped.
Keverian: What?
Mikele: Kidnapped. Twice actually. Apparently Dalamar captured her from wherever is was that Torquil had her and threw her in jail in Chaos, from where she was promptly kidnapped again by unknown lords of Chaos.
Keverian: That's ludicrous.

Mikele: It gets worse.
Katarina: How?
Mikele: She sent me a note.
Katarina: That's not worse.
Mikele: Read it.
Charles: You're right, that is worse. I'm glad none of this is my problem.

rif: Excuse me, but did I pick up some bad stuff I wasn't aware of?

Charles: Well, if she can send notes, I'm not going to go rescue her.

Torquil: It gets worse.
GM: That's the beauty of this scenario -- it just keeps getting worse.

Torquil: You could send Dara.
Mikele: What, tell them I don't have a suitable minion, so I'm sending my mother?
Merlin: Besides, she might out maneuver us.

Torquil: I need you to take me around Chaos so I can triangulate Felicia's location.
Dalamar: You'll need a disguise. [Hands Torquil a 'Groucho Marx' nose, mustache, and glasses.] It'll be just like a 'buddy' movie.

GM: As you're walking around Chaos, you see two bat-like creatures approaching you at high velocity.
Torquil: Bye.
GM: Torquil vanishes.
Dalamar: Huh?

Keverian, comment on discovering Felicia was engaged to be married to Evan Minobee: What!?

GM: Illidor, by the way, thinks this is a terrible idea.
Kate: Of course he does.
GM: In fact, they took a vote. It's 5 to 1 against.
Kate: Someone was in favor?
GM: Rikitake

GM: You see two guards ahead.
Katarina: Okay, Keverian and I take the one on the left and Caine can take the one on the right. Caine is still with us, right?
GM: Well, actually... no.

GM: Rikitake wants to know if he can change his vote to 'no.'

Felicia, on her former kidnappers: I feel really bad for them.
Keverian: Excuse me?
Mikele: There's a name for that, you know.
Keverian: What?
Mikele: Where you start to sympathize with your kidnappers.
Felicia: Well, they were desperate. I really liked Helen. I hope she's okay.
Keverian: What?

Jurt, opening a conversation with Mikele: What did you do to yourself now?

Felicia: Well, wouldn't whoever is getting crowned now be glad that Dalamar didn't succeed in protecting Elaine? If he hadn't, they never have become Emperor.
Mikele: Well, it doesn't speak well for his ability to protect them.
GM: That's it: Commended, fired, and beheaded.

Dalamar: Chaos is lousy with demons. I don't suppose they were wearing team sweat shirts or anything like that?

Katarina: Then Sand asked me if there was anyone in the younger generation was wasn't reckless.
Mikele: I'm not reckless...
Katarina: That's what I said: You and Martin aren't reckless.
Mikele: ...anymore.

Mikele: Well, let's take that!
Keverian: What? We can't take the door.
Mikele: Why not? It's not like it's keeping anyone out. The key is hanging right next to it.
Keverian: What are we going to do with it?
Mikele: I don't know. Give it to Katarina when we find her.
Keverian: No.
Mikele: Oh fine.

Mikele: Katarina would have taken the door.

GM: That sure looks like Oberon.
Keverian: Let's get out of here. Bring that.
Mikele: What? It's a dead body in a sarcophagous; what are we going to do with it?
Keverian: I don't know; look at it. It might be useful...
Mikele: Okay, but we're going back for the door then.

Katarina: Sand is going to have to revise her list.
Mikele: Grumble. I'm fast coming to the opinion that the Pattern either isn't very smart or has a perverse sense of humor.

Oberon: Recent evidence seems to indicate that restraint is not one of your virtues.

Felicia: Do you rue the day you met me yet?
Dalamar: I would if I could remember it.

Torquil: Is this some fiendishly clever plan on your part Dalamar?
Dalamar: You've got that half right: it's a fiendishly clever plan.

Keverian: Are you okay?
Katarina: I'm pissed, I'm poisoned - thank you, Martin - and I have something to deposit, but otherwise I'm fine.

Mikele: I figured we were looking for you, so perhaps thinking like you might help. I kept asking myself, "What would Katarina do now?" Well, after trying that for a day, I have just one question: Why are you not dead yet?

Dalamar: So I'm the only person who didn't know that Felicia was marreid to Torquil when we rescued her?

[2] The same tux referred to earlier. --Ed.

[3] That's good. --Ed.