SPAM Haiku 3601-3700

Move backwards to Numbers 3501-3600.


3601.
"Lions and tigers
and bears, oh my!" The list of
SPAM ingredients.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3602.
Tony Montana
sitting at his desk behind
a pink pile of SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3603.
"I want Joe Frazier!
I want Joe Frazier! I want...
Aw, just give me SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3604.
Bakker's new theory:
Dinos so smart they made SPAM;
Extinction explained.

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3605.
Dinosaur puzzle:
Bakker hates the meteor.
SPAM death? Nice try, Bob.

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3606.
Europe considers
a conversion to Hormel's
SPAMetric system.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3607.
Hormel scientists
create ultra-sensitive
femtoSPAMeter.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3608.
New film emulsion
based on SPAM creates field of
photoSPAMetry.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3609.
After regular
SPAM, SPAM Lite is totally
antiSPAMactic.

--Kevin Kepley (the mathineer)

3610.
If SPAM could not be,
There would be far less warring.
Peaceful SPAMless world.

--JuJuBee

3611.
Where will I fulfill
The essence of manliness?
The SPAM factory.

--JuJuBee

3612.
A short ode to SPAM:
Give me your tired and your poor;
I will give them SPAM.

--JuJuBee

3613.
No more will I whine,
I won't eat my Brussels sprouts.
SPAM is nourishment.

--JuJuBee

3614.
Oh, Horatio!
Forthwith, whence goeth my SPAM?
Claudius ate it.

--JuJuBee

3615.
Wow! Did you know that?
Oh my gosh, I found out that
"SPAM" backwards is "Maps."

--JuJuBee

3616.
Carrie was doused with
pig's blood--and carnage ensued.
If it had been SPAM...

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3617.
Fake pork product kills
millions. Survivors go nuts.
Stephen King's The Spam.

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3618.
In Pink Floyd's The Wall,
Kids are put through meat grinder.
The making of SPAM?

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3619.
Semi drives down road.
"Technical Animal Fat."
Going to Hormel?

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3620.
Yep, Bob; Montana
Falls forwards on pink pile, snorts.
His nickname: SPAMface.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3621.
Boorda approved SPAM
For Navy rations. I would
Have shot myself, too.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3622.
Small and square piggy
From genetic engineers
Perfect for SPAM can

--Anonymous

3623.
Shaking SPAM from can
The sucking sound reminds of
Cardiac care ward

--Anonymous

3624.
Spam-a-doodle Spam-
a-diddle I wish my SPAM
just cost a nickel

--Cosmo Town

3625.
Rectangular prism!
Oh, I can't contain myself,
Pink Chichen Itza!

--c/o Sam_knox@staff.ichange.com

3626.
SPAM supply low. Fret?
Think first before getting more.
Taste treat, or taste threat?

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3627.
SPAM--"poor man's scrapple."
Color is better, but taste?
Fewer floor sweepings...

--Jay Exner,jayexner@fast.net

3628.
Greasy spoon diner.
SPAMitation inspector
judges it three oinks.

--Jerry Missel, 72773.1577@compuserve.com

3629.
Sir Isaac on SPAM
said "What goes down must come up."
(Antigravity.)

--Jerry Missel, 72773.1577@compuserve.com

3630.
Booda writes Spamku
for a living, though he says
"SPAM made me do it!"

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3631.
SPAM carving is here!
Hormel has found the best way
to get rid of SPAM!

--Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3632.
moistness maximus
pinkness...parts is parts...creat-
or of nasty farts...

--DMUSSELM at DSC-OS5

3633.
Why do we deride
the glory and honor of
the other pink meat?

--gerald

3634.
Compressed under tin,
Suspense at its hearts contents;
Marvelous half-life.

--Sam Miller, samyd@whidbey.net

3635.
spam, i ate your kiss,
you tasted like perfection,
'til my eyes opened.

--Marrisa Mitchell, marmit@midwest.net

3636.
Whoever made this
Is a sad pathetic prick
To make Spamku yum

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3637.
SPAM flies the world high
Falls on me buttocks so I
Wash it with curry

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3638.
Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps
Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps Maps
I am dyslexic

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3639.
doji oji po
Woo hah yah yah yah yah yah
I can't spell spam well

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3640.
We surf the net well
To find great thingamajigs
This ain't one of them

--The Great Flatulent Chicken

3641.
Yes, pphhrogg, I confess.
I'm an Armour agent. All
The Treet I can eat.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3642.
Inconceivable.
A huge page of haiku and
Only one on SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3643.
Where is that lost Greek
Classic: Homer's SPAMiad?
Well, the Greeks had taste.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3644.
Frozen SPAM milkshake
Homicidal tendencies
Loading my squirt gun

--Arch Angel

3645.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
Chases ten Jack Daniels shots
Regurgitation

--Arch Angel

3646.
Parents give me task:
Think SPAM and five, seven, five...
Warn: think SPAM, don't eat.

--Anonymous

3647.
Butterflies flutter
Causing a storm miles away.
SPAMku's just the same.

--Anonymous

3648.
SPAM haiku let loose.
Critical mass reached, they're off--
Like chain reaction.

--Anonymous

3649.
I used to eat SPAM.
It was pink and from a can.
Early memories.

--Anonymous

3650.
Dinner was so late.
But SPAM haiku could not wait.
Synapses snap SPAM!

--Anonymous

3651.
If you eat fast food
you should not criticize SPAM.
Salt and fat abound.

--Anonymous

3652.
I've been bitten, wow.
SPAM thoughts punctuate the night.
The zeitgeist got me.

--Anonymous

3653.
Nascent poets write.
First published at SPAM Website.
Hormel should be proud.

--Anonymous

3654.
SPAM haiku arrive.
The art form of the nineties?
Who would have thought this.

--Anonymous

3655.
SPAMku on the Web.
Hmmm, would Gutenberg approve?
We all publish now.

--Anonymous

3656.
SPAMku masters' gems,
Philosophical nuggets,
Amidst sea of trash.

--Anonymous

3657.
SPAMku judges' work...
Tough job, but someone must do.
Necessary task.

--Anonymous

3658.
Popularity.
SPAMku Awards a big hit--
In Hollywood style.

--Anonymous

3659.
SPAMku Awards night.
Animal rights group protests.
Panning Hormel's work.

--Anonymous

3660.
After SPAMku fest
New fashion statement appears
Blue SPAM can baubles

--Anonymous

3661.
A new use for SPAM--
Poetry from Hormel's ham.
Wonders never cease.

--Anonymous

3662.
I don't believe it--
Even after good night's sleep
Thoughts of SPAM return.

--Anonymous

3663.
A new Rorschach test?
SPAM haiku plumb the mind's depths.
Interpretation?

--Anonymous

3664.
Kristine says, "What's next.
Ode to Dinty Moore. I guess."
Ahhh. Has potential.

--Anonymous

3665.
If Shaquille O'Neal
slam-dunked SPAM through the basket
would the backboard break?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3666.
SPAM has quite a few
masturbatory uses.
Er...or so I've heard.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3667.
Andy Garcia
plays SPAMface's buddy, whom
SPAMface SPAMs to death.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3668.
Daffy says, "What a
revoltin' development!
Porky has been SPAMmed!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3669.
Fatty Arbuckle
is accused of using SPAM
for...uh...well...you know.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3670.
Indian looks down
on Hormel plant. A single
tear runs down his face.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3671.
Next on Homicide:
"Life on the Street"
: Pembleton
eats SPAM; has a stroke.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3672.
Ted Kaczynski "loved
nature," and yet he ate SPAM.
See the problem here?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3673.
Tut invented SPAM
but sank it and all who knew:
waste deep in de Nile.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3674.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
Puréed succulent swine chunks
HEY! I love ewe man

--Arch Angel

3675.
Indy 500.
The Michigan 500.
Winners get milk, SPAM.

--john.foster@camel.com

3676.
A thin metal strip
Slowly uncoiling around
The top of the can.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3677.
What is this liquid
Pooling along the SPAM's base?
Do pigs bleed ichor?

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3678.
Pins, toothpicks, pencils,
Stick bolt upright in the SPAM:
So multi-purpose.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3679.
"I SPAM what I SPAM;
but I'll throw out the spinach
for pig in a can."

--matt68

3680.
White jellyish meat
The plight of the hamburger
Its title is SPAM

--Catherine Ryan

3681.
Hormel sex scandal
President caught rubbing SPAM
On assistant's ass

--Seth

3682.
A deranged old man
Puts SPAM in his bird feeder,
Rubs his hands, cackles.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3683.
When frying up SPAM,
Please spray the SPAM pan with PAM.
Say that three times fast.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3684.
Through the kitchen door
I can see the young children
Playing "Hit the SPAM."

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3685.
In the cabinet,
It lurks, unseen, forgotten...
Then you move the soup.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

3686.
Good morning, Mr.
Phelps. This man is John Cho. SPAM
Poet. Dangerous.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3687.
Your mission, Jim, should
You decide to accept it,
Is to eat this SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3688.
Phelps lights fuse. Eats SPAM.
Self-destructs in five seconds.
Lordy, what a mess.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3689.
How many SPAM tins
can dance on head of a pin?
Please don't waste my time.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3690.
Stubborn Thomas More
Approv'd not Hal's piggishness.
'Twas beheaded, Spamm'd.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3691.
On Agincourt field
England slew France's flower
Knights were SPAM in cans

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3692.
Sun Tzu's Art of War
Says: Strike foe where he is not.
Oh, and feed him SPAM.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3693.
Reincarnation
I return in a blue can
Reincarnation

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3694.
Wile E. Coyote
Must eat SPAM, not Road Runner.
Too gory for kids.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3695.
Hormel could boost sales
Print "Submit your own Spamku!"
On each can of SPAM

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

3696.
Much is made here of
the odd pink hue of raw SPAM.
But what of cooked SPAM?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3697.
The eerie pink glow
of SPAM from the can gives way
when fried in a pan.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3698.
Or rather, the pink
collapses upon itself--
Crusty Burgundy!

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

3699.
SPAM in wilderness:
No natural enemy,
Animals are scared.

--Anonymous

3700.
His disturbed patient
Smears her lips with SPAM, exits
through office window.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com


Move forwards to Numbers 3701-3800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.